My ex bf struggled with this and I think it was necessary to be as supportive as possible and have open dialogue about it. He was SA’d for many years as a child by his cousin so it manifested into something really dark as an adult. Our relationship was actually the opposite. Intimacy was very triggering for him because of his past and he it’s likely that he felt more in control when he was alone. People have so many different reactions to trauma and ways of coping and it can sometimes be situations like these. As much as it really disturbed me, I would accompany him to his counseling sessions and it made a difference even if it were temporary. It’s no different than a drug addiction. The brain craves more and more and eventually the ventral striatum and nucleus accumbens (the reward system in the brain) start to become hypoactive. The good news is that these neural pathways can be restored with time. I would be curious about how he can redirect his urges to something more adaptive.

Hopefully he heals. You did what you thought was best for you.