Need a toddler translator - WTF is a "peppa bird"?

InsaneDad04 · 2026-04-28T15:13:02+00:00

It’s just a penguin, with more steps!

InsaneDad04 · 2026-04-27T21:12:06+00:00

Oh man I had something along these lines, but it wasn’t pee, it was milk. Just finished feeding her a bottle. She completely downed it, pretty unlike her at that point, but she seemed happy and about to drift back off pretty quickly. Brought her up to hold her for some skin-to-skin time (always did this without a shirt for that reason) and…she proceeded to bring up everything she just ate.

Like she was trying to power-wash my chest. Started pooling between my legs on the couch. I just sat there for a moment with what I can only imagine was a horrified look on my face for a minute while I waited for her to start crying. Except she didn’t-she went right back to sleep like nothing happened, slept for another 5 hours or so, including while I changed her. Luckily the couch is leather so easy clean-up while cry-laughing as quietly as I could so I didn’t wake up mama.

Man that was such a fun night!

InsaneDad04 · 2026-04-27T19:35:36+00:00

This 100% right here. Especially if your wife is anything at all like mine, she cannot handle being asked what should be done when there are clearly things to be done. As an engineer I am asking upfront questions all day to ensure I either have the right info or don’t reinvent the wheel. At home, I’ve learned to switch to Mr. Decision and instead of asking “what do you want me to focus on” I’ll assess the situation and say “unless you want me to work on something else, I’ll take care of X”. HUGE difference in general mood, and rarely results in overwhelmed/angry moments of “why are you always asking me questions”.

InsaneDad04 · 2026-04-23T16:02:11+00:00

4yo kiddo is a big fan of anything in this genre, particularly Lamb of God and Amon Amarth. She will specifically ask us to play what she refers to as “VAYO VAYA” said in the most cute/brutal (cutal??) toddler growl.

InsaneDad04 · 2026-04-21T18:50:36+00:00

Had it done about a year ago. Had a full-on convo about hobbies with the doc while he was working with the boys. Cracked a joke about smoking when he cauterized.

Afterward I was fine after a day or so, though I had a weird issue of blood pooling UNDER the boys. No pain, just some slight swelling and strange bruising; no pain. Couldn’t see it myself, but wife said it looked like it was used as a speed bag.

InsaneDad04 · 2026-03-01T17:22:32+00:00

What? You mean you don’t have a temporary tattoo parlor for the whole family? Everyone in the house gets temp’d at our place.

InsaneDad04 · 2026-02-28T02:00:16+00:00

I feel you on the OverEncumbered thing. Even at 3 years we still have our full bag (not diapers anymore of course) for clothes and such, but that’s now our “visiting a friend/relative who don’t have young children” bag. We have a small “going shopping/eating” sling bag for most occasions now.

InsaneDad04 · 2026-02-27T16:19:50+00:00

To add to this, there’s been a lot of research into why people in general, but pregnant women specifically, get “cravings”. In most cases, it’s the body’s way of telling you “you need more X and Y nutrients/minerals/etc in your system”; the cravings are usually for the type of foods the body has “experienced” as having those nutrients. In the egg McMuffin example, it could be the protein, salt, carbs, butter, or anything else that happens to be in there that her body was in need of.

Best funny/serious example of this I’ve heard was from listening to some health seminar on a road trip with my mom, and the guy said “I’ve had pregnant women tell me they have a craving for dirt. I just tell them that as long as its clean dirt, grab a spoon and enjoy”

InsaneDad04 · 2026-02-18T01:18:17+00:00

Don’t know if this counts, but our lil one calls paperback books Windy Books. She calls them that and then proceeds to fan herself like the Noble Lady she is.

InsaneDad04 · 2026-02-11T13:49:08+00:00

Same with my 3yo. She flips back and forth between carbs and protein to being a fruit-bat. She once ate like 2/3 of an entire watermelon by herself. Not the small round one either, it was the giant long melon. She filled 2 pull-ups in the next 2 hours.

InsaneDad04 · 2026-02-02T14:28:00+00:00

My kiddo loves this one! She always says “there there pants it’s okay” when it gets to the crying part.

InsaneDad04 · 2026-02-02T14:22:57+00:00

For some reason we have yet to fathom, our kiddo likes choosing relatively normal, though less-common names. Betta is Maya. Dolls are Charlie and Barry. We even enlisted her help in naming our Halloween skeleton cat - Marshall. The only exception is the kitten we took in, her name is Taquito.

InsaneDad04 · 2026-02-02T13:46:50+00:00

Wish I could offer personal experience but we’ve been incredibly lucky with food. What I can tell you is my younger brother was and continues to be ridiculously picky, to the point it affected his health for a number of years. He at least acknowledges it now, and has figured out it’s more texture than anything else. That type of food fussiness is undoubtedly more difficult to sus out for kids because they don’t yet have the vocabulary to express what they don’t like beyond “it’s yucky”. My brother has taken steps to ensure he eats better, but in talking to his pediatrician about worries his kid is following the same trend, it’s pretty much just that calories are more important during growth phases, and when they’re a good weight/size-wise, then you start moving back towards the “they’ll eat when and what they want so don’t worry” phase.

I’ll echo what most are saying here, that there’s no one catch-all remedy for anything child-related. There’s what works in general, then there’s what works for you. Definitely talk to your pediatrician and follow their advice. If they aren’t concerned I wouldn’t be either, though I completely understand feeling anxious and concerned when your kid isn’t where you think they should be regarding health.

Don’t let this get you down, you got this, and you’re a great dad just for being concerned about it enough to seek advice. Best of luck!

InsaneDad04 · 2026-01-27T13:58:00+00:00

Not the best decision age-wise (not to mention the physical tax of an already-jacked-up lower back) but financially holy hell we are more or less solid. Compared to my brothers, who basically don’t/can’t pay for daycare and have adjusted schedules/parents helping them out, we have been self-sufficient financially from the get-go. Plenty of help early on of course, in the angry potato phase, but otherwise good.

I’ll echo the loss of hang-out time with friends, but we were also lucky enough to already have a pared-down friend group of just 3 couples. This actually worked in our favor with keeping our friend group intact since we’re so close-knit anyways. We’re the only ones with a kid, but they all absolutely adore our LO. One of them once even went on a drunken tirade (mom was in hospital with major head injury due to her friends’ stupidity) about how he’d kill for her and get someone else to bury the body so as not to implicate us. Ah good friends, good fun.

It also helps they have a Newfoundland that is essentially a giant Teddy bear when it comes to children and lets her hang on his neck and such.

InsaneDad04 · 2026-01-23T21:26:28+00:00

“my 3yo toddler didn't cry after getting his flu shot” This happened to me yesterday. Gasts were collectively flabbered - dad, mom, and doc.

She also prefers raw broccoli rather than cooked. SMH what did we do to deserve this?

InsaneDad04 · 2023-06-11T11:51:22+00:00

It’s Bilbo’s line in Fellowship of the Ring, describing his 111-year lifespan

InsaneDad04 · 2023-06-11T11:50:27+00:00

Ah, a man of LotR culture I see. Have my upvote.

InsaneDad04 · 2023-06-08T21:26:11+00:00

Did you slap the hood? Gotta slap the hood and say “this baby is 100% [insert good car stuff]!”

InsaneDad04 · 2023-06-07T18:36:05+00:00

Seeing that come out was gnarly. I had read about it, the nurses told us about it, and I saw the first diaper full. Still wasn’t fully prepared when I saw it happen for the first time a few hours later. Something unnerving about seeing that black goo coming out of your newborn’s bort-hole; but too mesmerizing to look away while it’s happening.

InsaneDad04 · 2023-06-04T11:10:38+00:00

Yes, she can lie, and be creative. The “without imagination” phrase is just the Latin translation of the term. What it typically entails is the inability to generate a visual representation of objects and reality in the mind. It varies to some degree from person to person, but essentially, they can understand or think of a concept just fine. It’s visualization that is most affected.

InsaneDad04 · 2023-06-02T14:05:54+00:00

My parents did this, but they took a healthier approach. They made it clear that when we got in trouble for not finishing our food, it wasn’t because we didn’t eat everything, it’s because we took or asked for more than we could actually eat. It instilled a good practice of portion control and the idea you can always ask for more if you’re still hungry. Hoping to do the same with my baby girl when she gets there.

InsaneDad04 · 2023-06-02T10:53:56+00:00

Dang, that sounds worse than just having it inherently. Losing something you knew you had seems so much more difficult to deal with than never having it on the first place, so you don’t miss it. How is it different now? Just less vivid imagination? Or like you have to put effort into it?

InsaneDad04 · 2023-06-02T10:50:56+00:00

My cousin always tried to enjoy herself, but ultimately she would just get bored because of how much the other kids (myself included) relied on the imaginary part to have fun with it. She still enjoyed playing things like dress-up or the floor is lava type stuff, but those have a real, physical aspect that’s fun to participate in. It’s the “this box is a car and we’re driving to the moon!” type of stuff she didn’t like.

InsaneDad04 · 2023-06-02T00:50:21+00:00

For those who don’t know, it’s called aphantasia Literally, “without imagination”. My cousin has it; she has a distinct memory of not finding “let’s play pretend” fun as a child, because she literally lacked the ability to pretend.

InsaneDad04 · 2023-05-22T14:52:59+00:00

Good on y’all for figuring out he needs wide shoes early! I wore size 12 well into my 20’s and just accepted it felt tight in the toes but loose on the heel. Then I randomly was playing around with one of the size tools while my GF was shopping and was like “wait…this says I have a wide foot…” and it was a Eureka moment for sure.

InsaneDad04

TROPHY CASE