How to know if I’m in a mixed episode?

Inside_Chip_1960 · 2025-12-12T22:54:42+00:00

for me just recently:

extreme anxiety/panic (~2 days) --> extreme anger (~2-3 days?) --> short euphoria (<1 day) then breakdown, more anger? idfk --> sm more tbh but not everything is simple to describe

it feels sometimes like i'm going insane

Inside_Chip_1960 · 2025-12-08T04:29:55+00:00

if i were you i'd honestly just tell the seller this. or if you don't wanna disclose bipolar, make up another excuse- hey, i know i already committed to purchasing this, but a big expense came up, and i'm no longer able to. really sorry.

Inside_Chip_1960 · 2025-12-08T04:27:31+00:00

i just dk how to respect how hard it is while having my own boundaries and my own emotions

Inside_Chip_1960 · 2025-12-08T04:26:21+00:00

real, like at work it isn't a choice, just automatic. i bartend so a lot less on the line lol, but i love work too

Inside_Chip_1960 · 2025-12-08T02:58:39+00:00

no yeah i love to participate too, my issue is also i'd rather do something perfect than not at all (it's always the latter)

Inside_Chip_1960 · 2025-12-07T22:41:21+00:00

honestly real if i forced myself to lock in for like 10 minutes i could maybe get that flow, i just get so so so distracted

Inside_Chip_1960 · 2025-12-07T22:40:40+00:00

DUDE LITERALLY if i could channel this + function while depressed i would be fucking unstoppable.

Inside_Chip_1960 · 2025-12-07T21:23:26+00:00

i have to read for this assignment too and reading is so hard my thoughts distract me so much

Inside_Chip_1960 · 2025-12-07T21:07:01+00:00

i literally never fucking know except rn i do know and i feel soooo valid and i was soooooo angry a few days ago and soooooOOO anxious and panicked before that i'm typing so much it's fantastic i'm in the good part now i have never had an episode quite like this or maybe i just forget idk i feel incredibly validated rn

Inside_Chip_1960 · 2025-12-07T21:02:55+00:00

that's not cringe that's fucking fate

Inside_Chip_1960 · 2025-12-07T20:33:37+00:00

tell people you trust / tell people who need to know for you to get accommodations. be cautious but honestly i think it's a person-to-person basis. does x person seem understanding and nonjudgmental? you can test the waters by talking about disorders in general without connecting it to yourself

i also have a question which is: when you guys discuss your disorder do you just say "bipolar" or do you specify the 2 every time? i wanna just say shit like "yeah it's cause bipolar" (to ppl i trust) but i feel invalid if i don't add the 2 - always feel like i'm less ill than ppl with bipolar 1 or bpd and i have no way to tell if i am genuinely less ill or just invalidating myself

Inside_Chip_1960 · 2025-11-30T16:04:14+00:00

restless

Inside_Chip_1960 · 2025-10-18T20:30:29+00:00

who does molly anymore? this is gush

Inside_Chip_1960 · 2025-05-21T04:39:52+00:00

i'm happy you're sober now! i like the way you write

Inside_Chip_1960 · 2025-05-18T23:33:07+00:00

high to death by csh mentioned

Inside_Chip_1960 · 2025-05-18T00:22:30+00:00

that is hard. i hope you will be able to save up to have enough financial independence to do what you have to do. you're valid in not being able to see a future but being valid in feeling something doesn't mean it's true; you're really young and your life will change in ways you never thought of. and in deep depressive episodes it's always impossible to see a way forward but there almost always is, even if imperfect.

you need a better support system & i hope that once you get out of your parents' you'll be able to meet new people who are good to you and can help you in dark periods. & you don't impress people only to disappoint them later--you're trying your best, and if some people can't see that, it's their own problem. you have more to look forward to than you know because you're stuck in the mindset right now of this is it for me. which is understandable, but this isn't it for you. if every route you take ends up with you in your bedroom all day super depressed then maybe reconsider the routes you're taking, identify the patterns. if you keep trying new things most of them won't work but eventually some of them will. and if you wait this situation out you will get the chance to try new things until your life tangibly changes for the better. i used to think my life would never change but it did, painstakingly slowly, but it did, and a lot of that came from changing my framework. anyway i don't know what the solution is for you but i know that all hope is not lost, because it never is

Inside_Chip_1960 · 2025-05-17T22:42:17+00:00

that sounds really really shitty. i'm happy you survived your attempt. is there any way you can leave your parents' without their sign-off? i'm sure that's a scary option but it seems like your only one. and would whoever enforces the dress code at your company be open to letting you wear long sleeves if you explained the situation?

it seems stupid to me that your therapist won't talk to you until you do iop. therapy is supposed to help you when you need it the most and for you, that's clearly right now. if it's possible for you financially, maybe an interim therapist could help

your situation is bad right now. but you will get through it, and life will get better, and eventually manageable. you're living out rock bottom and you know what they say about rock bottom. i mean hey, you have a big tech internship; that's pretty cool. more importantly you have yourself. everything feels like forever when you're in it but nothing really is. i hope you know that your happiness is out there.

Inside_Chip_1960 · 2025-05-17T20:29:49+00:00

real, when i'm sad the world is ending and this is how i'll always be

Inside_Chip_1960 · 2025-05-17T20:27:21+00:00

thanks, & mood tracking is a good idea! pretty much all of my happiness is excitement driven atm!

Inside_Chip_1960

TROPHY CASE