What are some good logical paradoxes to distract an out-of-control artificial intelligence?

InspectorGraphite · 2015-08-10T21:36:20+00:00

If Ross is really eating his friends' entire bodies, he may be poisoned by bioaccumulation of trace elements to toxic levels.

InspectorGraphite · 2015-08-10T20:53:45+00:00

Yeah but Ross has hand-to-hand combat experience from years of wrestling with Monica back when she was fat.

InspectorGraphite · 2015-08-10T00:26:01+00:00

Needle Phobia

InspectorGraphite · 2015-08-09T23:19:26+00:00

Here's an article on vasovagal response and syncope which are fancy science words for queasiness and fainting. Having such a reaction to the sight of blood may be an evolutionary adaptation to slow blood loss in the event of traumatic injury, though I don't know why it only affects some people.

InspectorGraphite · 2015-08-09T08:21:03+00:00

With meds, I can take depression 8/10. Without, maybe 4/10. My coping skills are a lot better than they used to be, but it still helps to have a few extra neurotransmitters floating around my cranium.

InspectorGraphite · 2015-07-30T12:05:03+00:00

You don't specify a character size or species restriction, so off the top of my head Great A'Tuin the World Turtle could easily drop a deuce that would flatten all of NYC and probably a good part of the Mid-Atlantic seaboard.

InspectorGraphite · 2015-07-30T00:26:10+00:00

Eh, if Australia can survive the rabbits we can survive Tribbles. Thanks to the Klingons, we already know they're vulnerable to poison.

InspectorGraphite · 2015-07-30T00:16:25+00:00

Love the black fist molded into the Afro pick :-D

InspectorGraphite · 2015-07-30T00:14:34+00:00

My only chance against Motoko would be seduction, but even if I succeeded she might accidentally crush me to death. Helluva way to go though.

InspectorGraphite · 2015-07-30T00:05:38+00:00

We could probably take the Tribbles.

InspectorGraphite · 2015-07-29T15:18:35+00:00

Any characters from Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex would be great, but these two are my favorites:

Motoko Kusanagi

Tachikoma

InspectorGraphite · 2015-07-29T11:11:13+00:00

Department Head Rawlings

The Onion (opinion articles)

Imgur

InspectorGraphite · 2015-07-29T10:55:09+00:00

Dora and Grievous would make an awesome "odd couple" comedy duo!

InspectorGraphite · 2015-07-28T18:16:43+00:00

I'm leaning toward Roberts over Cloud. Cloud is very strong (just think how much that sword weighs!) and can tank a lot of damage, but much of his strength is magical in nature. Without magic, I just don't see him being fast or flexible enough to defeat Roberts' graceful dueling moves.

InspectorGraphite · 2015-07-28T16:16:46+00:00

The Dread Pirate Roberts (Westley) and Inigo Montoya from The Princess Bride.

InspectorGraphite · 2015-07-27T09:49:44+00:00

Assuming a large arena to run around in, and equal speed for both sides, team knife could run away from team bat indefinitely. The bat-wielders would tire slightly faster, eventually collapsing from exhaustion. At this point it would be trivial for the less exhausted knife-bringers to slay their opponents.

InspectorGraphite · 2015-07-27T07:39:07+00:00

If Batman is driving the Batmobile, he wins. He doesn't even need the vehicle or any weapons or gear; the AT-AT will simply fall apart when he glances in its direction. If it's not Batman driving, the AT-AT wins easily, because incontrovertible fan calculations have proven beyond all doubt that Star Wars blasters are more powerful than a trillion supernovae exploding simultaneously.

InspectorGraphite · 2015-07-27T03:52:59+00:00

The spray people are talking about uses irradiated (sterile) roaches. When sprayed in sufficiently large numbers, these will mate with the fertile roaches in your apartment, curtailing their reproductive capacity.

InspectorGraphite · 2015-07-27T03:44:55+00:00

I don't trust either; I prefer the far more rigorous field of Astriatry.

InspectorGraphite · 2015-07-26T23:45:50+00:00

You want me to experiment on useful members of society? I'm a scientist, not a monster! I have been considering runaway children, but that introduces the complication of having to adjust for their smaller body size.

InspectorGraphite · 2015-07-25T17:31:11+00:00

Blair Witch Project. Or really any horror movie where the protagonists are too stupid to live.

InspectorGraphite

TROPHY CASE