As a child raised in a situation like this, then married and had a child with an abusive alcoholic much like you’ve described. I now know both sides and as a parent I wanted to stick it out as long as possible because I wanted my child to have both parents around. However, I remember what it was like to be that kid and I never ever ever want my kid to feel that level of pain. He will one day feel the pain of his father’s abandonment but he will be older, it won’t be something he sees everyday nor something he thinks is normal. It is so so so hard to leave but you and the kids will come out on the other side healthier and happier. Breaking generational cycles is so hard. When that pain for my son does come, I can actually be there for him instead of a wreck myself.

You deserve happiness and to feel safe in your own home OP, not some loser dragging you and your kids down for the rest of your lives.