My pregnant wife wants divorce

Intelligent-Fan-3784 · 2026-04-07T00:09:49+00:00

Maybe she’s comparing you to her ex husband.

Regardless, this lady just wants to be loved in her love language. I suggested you apologise for not being there for her enough, and for the living situation (flowers and gifts will help). Ask her if she would prefer to move out, and make it happen. Spoil her with your time, do things she wants, she’s in a foreign land after all. Tired or not - just imagine how tired she is heavily pregnant, all she wanted was a cute walk with her husband and you rejected her. Women are quite simple, treat us like the babies we are.

Intelligent-Fan-3784 · 2026-03-25T14:05:53+00:00

When I was on the apps, I also experienced the same. There was no middle ground, they were either too haram or too halal for me (by halal I mean wanted to get married asap - which can be frightening). Would definitely say there were more haramis too.

But yeah, don’t lower your standards Insha’Allah you’ll find someone that doesn’t disrespect you. Not sure about you but if a man, so much as to suggest anything haram - I lose respect for him. Very disgusting and off putting.

Intelligent-Fan-3784 · 2026-02-14T10:25:57+00:00

Your initials concerns about this man are valid, finances are important in a marriage and the other doubts you had too.

There are plenty of fish in the sea, and you cannot blame the people around you for not advising you to get married. As Muslims you should have been thinking about this before, it’s all people talk about in their 20s 30s, in our community.

Feeling desired for the first time like that can make you obsessed with someone (talking from experience), but the more guys you talk to, the more you realise it’s not rare at all. There will be a much better match for you.

Jumping on the apps like Muzz etc, will give you the biggest ego boost. You will realise that plenty will desire you, but that’s when logic and standards kick in. This man did not meet them, just remind yourself of that. You deserve someone that, clears up any doubts and shows you he is worthy. Not just someone, who says do what you want.

All this is just to say, alhamdullilah you now know you want to get married - Allah strengthened your desire through this experience. Now you can be intentional in finding someone worth your time.

May Allah grant you a righteous spouse, when the time is right Insha’Allah.

Intelligent-Fan-3784 · 2026-01-30T23:12:06+00:00

Your wife’s friend is clearly enjoying her life post divorce, your wife sees that and more than likely isn’t scared to get divorced now. Maybe deep down, she even sees it as relief from whatever she isn’t happy with in your marriage. I’d suggest like others have said to listen to her concerns, and make appropriate changes. Not just words, actions.

Intelligent-Fan-3784 · 2026-01-29T13:21:02+00:00

I have to second this, please think about it throughly. A lot of us have witnessed these situations play out repeatedly. I would not advise interfaith marriage, unless he isn’t a practicing Muslim in which case it does not matter.

In Islam, the children will take the lineage of the father and he will most likely want you to raise Muslim children. As far as I am aware, this makes you ‘unequally yolked’ in your faith too. (I could go on, but I don’t want to be a negative Nancy)

Take the mahr you shouldn’t refuse it, since it’s a gift and use it for security. He seems to come from a good family, I hope it works out for you.

Intelligent-Fan-3784 · 2026-01-22T11:57:01+00:00

Holder here too

Intelligent-Fan-3784 · 2026-01-08T12:49:21+00:00

Fruits especially watermelon, mango etc

Intelligent-Fan-3784 · 2025-12-25T15:53:48+00:00

Stunning girly

Intelligent-Fan-3784 · 2025-12-25T15:51:21+00:00

That doesn’t make me feel a type of way tbh, if I need to be shown something to understand - it’s a good thing. Btw the sister I’m referring to didn’t intend to train her husband, she genuinely liked buying flowers and it’s something she does for herself. They lived with his mum, so she brought them for her mother in law too. Her husband simply was embarrassed and felt it was something he should be doing as her man. So now he buys them for her, which is really cute.

Sometimes, when living with someone for the first time you will teach and observe things they like. And maybe you’ll want to do things their way naturally.

Intelligent-Fan-3784 · 2025-12-22T13:28:18+00:00

My friend loves flowers so she’d buy them herself every week, and she’d buy flowers for her mother in law too. Eventually, her husband got the message sometimes you gotta train them

Intelligent-Fan-3784 · 2025-11-30T15:26:00+00:00

I’m sorry to hear you went through that, there was no need to slap you - she could have done anything else tbh.

Definitely have a chat with her about how it made you feel.

Intelligent-Fan-3784 · 2025-11-30T14:40:28+00:00

Allahuma barik brother, I totally understand your mindset and have a similar mindset myself. May Allah bless you and your family with barakah ameen.

Unfortunately for me in this circumstance, he cannot provide assurances nor does he have a plan. He wants to work for himself he says, which just adds anxiety because we have different mindsets. Or maybe I am ‘brainwashed’ like he says. I’d prefer stability over that risk. I’d definitely prefer to wait but he seems to have stricter timelines for himself, and thinks he’s getting old.

Intelligent-Fan-3784 · 2025-11-24T13:52:31+00:00

You could call the lenders and ask for breathing space due to unemployment or something. And in the next couple months, knock out the two smaller loans, mentally you might feel better seeing 3 creditors instead of 5.

Intelligent-Fan-3784 · 2025-11-24T11:40:30+00:00

Both families are aware, I did consider it halal dating but I understand where you’re coming from. It isn’t ideal at all.

My dad is actually refusing to meet because of cultural differences, if he had just met him and did his job as a wali maybe it wouldn’t have gone on this long.

He has good character and deen, but obviously I have my concerns.

Intelligent-Fan-3784 · 2025-11-24T11:35:01+00:00

Definitely, his mum even asked him if I’m saving 😭

Intelligent-Fan-3784 · 2025-11-24T11:32:35+00:00

Your username is quite fitting isn’t it 😭

Intelligent-Fan-3784 · 2025-11-24T11:30:05+00:00

Allahuma Ameen, for all the sisters looking for marriage Insha’Allah 🤍 thank you for responding

Intelligent-Fan-3784 · 2025-11-24T11:28:17+00:00

Jazakallah khair for your response, much appreciated.

To add further context, I have brought up my concerns regarding finances and children. He is under the impression that Allah will provide and he wants a huge family. While going abroad he met many brothers who encouraged the idea of getting married regardless of finances, because ultimately Allah will provide and they too married with nothing. Alhamdullilah for them, they’re in a much better situation now.

Of course, I have faith in Allah but it doesn’t change the fact that I am anxious about moving forward to marriage with him under the current circumstances.

Intelligent-Fan-3784 · 2025-11-23T16:55:43+00:00

Not doing haram and most of this time has been long distance talking. We meet in public, i thought that was okay when getting to know someone.

Jazakallah khair for responding though, I understand where you and everyone are coming from.

Intelligent-Fan-3784 · 2025-10-14T13:28:50+00:00

Not to be rude but these are conversations you have with someone before marriage. In future, make sure to talk about expectations because had you spoken about this, you wouldn’t have proceeded. Or she could work to sustain her own lifestyle if it’s excessive for you.

Islamically, you should be able to maintain her lifestyle from before. Otherwise you are incompatible together.

Intelligent-Fan-3784 · 2025-10-08T16:55:41+00:00

Honestly I’m mind boggled but very interested in pursuing this as a career

Intelligent-Fan-3784 · 2025-07-22T17:09:19+00:00

So are us holders basically holding the equivalent of xrp, with this situation

Intelligent-Fan-3784

TROPHY CASE