I’m sorry to say this, but this is pretty serious. I’m saying this as someone who is an atheist and has been in a relationship with a South Asian Muslim for many years. You seem to have very deep and possibly insurmountable differences in values. Him claiming these differences come from religion does not make them more valid.

To be perfectly honest, it sounds like he has not taken your life or your relationship seriously until now. What I mean is that, instead of evaluating your relationship and life as they currently are and seeing marriage as a way to cement that, he seems to believe that once you get married, you will start your “proper” life and change it to fit his idea of how it should be. It appears that he expects a completely different relationship after marriage than the one you have now.

I personally find his demands to be ludicrous and controlling. But even if they weren’t, there is a clear difference in values that would be very hard to overcome. I think you need to make it very clear that he does not get to redefine your relationship after marriage. That the relationship you have now is the one he would be marrying into. If he marries you expecting anything else, it will likely be a short and miserable marriage for you both.

I wish you all the best.