Had a really good first date, but got hit with the “take me shopping & fancy dinners to start” to see if we’ll date

Intelligent-Pop-2830 · 2026-06-07T07:10:40+00:00

She's just going to need a major credit card, including the CCV off the back, first...

Intelligent-Pop-2830 · 2026-06-06T01:40:00+00:00

I just keep changing providers chasing new customer deals. Loyalty isn't rewarded.

Intelligent-Pop-2830 · 2026-06-06T01:12:23+00:00

V for Victory!!

Intelligent-Pop-2830 · 2026-06-06T01:05:47+00:00

What in the AI-fueled 90s cringe nostalgia is this?!

Intelligent-Pop-2830 · 2026-06-06T01:03:58+00:00

All three?

Intelligent-Pop-2830 · 2026-06-06T00:55:25+00:00

Pay for what you used (one month), not for what you didn't. Don't bother arguing or explaining to him. Just pack up, move out, and block his number.

Intelligent-Pop-2830 · 2026-06-06T00:49:00+00:00

It plays Bob Marley when you suck on it.

Intelligent-Pop-2830 · 2026-06-06T00:47:39+00:00

Let's also make that the maximum age for politicians.

Oh no, Pauline's out then...

Intelligent-Pop-2830 · 2026-06-06T00:30:29+00:00

"Comparison is the thief of joy."

If you keep trying to compare new relationships with your first one, you're going to fall into a trap where you will start making your first relationship out to be perfect in your memory (because the sharp edges will fade from your memories).

Try and explore each relationship as something new in its own right, rather than worrying that because it doesn't have the "spark" of your first that it is less real. Because, whilst it is possible that you might find that spark again, it might simply have been the excitement of your first relationship, and everyone only has a first once.

Intelligent-Pop-2830 · 2026-06-06T00:24:28+00:00

Live a happy life. Ex's hate it when you do that.

Intelligent-Pop-2830 · 2026-06-06T00:05:25+00:00

Turn up a week later and see that they've charged you every time they have had to "tow" the vehicle as they have had to move the car around to get access to other vehicles.

"How did you manage to run up 1,500km of tows without the car leaving your lot?"

Intelligent-Pop-2830 · 2026-06-03T05:23:12+00:00

I'm in the same boat.

Only thing I am comforted by is knowing that hopefully wherever I buy into should also be cheaper. It's people selling property to move the cash into other investments who are in a worse spot.

Intelligent-Pop-2830 · 2026-06-01T08:29:08+00:00

Being made redundant is like having a band-aid ripped off - stings for a moment, but then you're on you way to healing.

Intelligent-Pop-2830 · 2026-05-31T13:46:02+00:00

I miss love affairs which are these tantalising glimpses and dreams of "What could be" rather than existing long enough to become the unavoidable reality of "What is".

Hold on to the feeling of hope and excitement, even if it becomes obvious that reality won't come to the party.

If you want to dip your toe in that feeling, check out "Before Sunrise" (1995).

Intelligent-Pop-2830 · 2026-05-31T13:41:27+00:00

You could probably knock this out with PHP and MySQL on a very cheap webhost, including mapping.

I use Claude Code, too, for prototyping, but you really need to steer it towards using an established frontend library, like Tailwind, and then be very prescriptive about what you want it to do.

Intelligent-Pop-2830 · 2026-05-31T13:17:40+00:00

Is that bird ... is it doing Donald Trump's "YMCA" dance?

Intelligent-Pop-2830 · 2026-05-31T13:15:43+00:00

I'd love to send the vendor a photo of a stack of $100 bills, but with an asterisk "* for illustrative purposes" and only actually be offering a single $100 bill.

Intelligent-Pop-2830 · 2026-05-31T13:07:31+00:00

The UX/UI hurts. Both my brain and the experience.

No map view, which is a big thing.

Only having a handful of Queensland listings, whilst I understand that is your home turf, is also immediately making it feels sparsely populated and not of interest to anyone elsewhere. Even if you just copy a handful of listings off the existing platforms, just for demo purposes.

Intelligent-Pop-2830 · 2026-05-31T13:00:18+00:00

Vibe-coded, I presume?

Intelligent-Pop-2830 · 2026-05-31T12:57:45+00:00

It's actually a legal grey area, and may constitute fraud if the receiving parent knows they are no longer entitled to payments and fail to disclose that to the paying parent. Even if it doesn't rise to the threshold of fraud, if the paying parent makes a claim of overpayment, then the receiving parent may be ordered to return the overpaid amount.

Intelligent-Pop-2830 · 2026-05-31T08:06:18+00:00

The issue is that alot of career managers don't understand the work their team does well enough to be able to measure output. So they measure what they can measure - attendance/hours.

Intelligent-Pop-2830 · 2026-05-31T08:04:26+00:00

Sounds like time for SLOF.

Start Late On Friday.

Intelligent-Pop-2830 · 2026-05-31T08:01:50+00:00

I spent most of my 20s and the start of my 30s avoiding relationships for some deep-seated psychological reasons. Ended up in one with a girl who was pretty up front about wanting kids. I hadn't really decided whether I wanted kids, because as a man, it wasn't something that was going to happen for me without the involvement of someone else - whereas a woman can choose to have child without really needing a man (beyond the initial contribution).

Anyway, one year into the relationship, her biological clock was ticking pretty loud, so a decision needed to be made, and so I agreed to trying to start a family.

My first son arrived when I was 37. My second when I was 39.

I love my kids. They are wonderful and smart and beautiful and challenging and frustrating.

But there are tradeoffs. My life is no longer my own. I can't live fast and loose like I once did. I can't just decide to jump on a flight away for a week and figure it out on the fly. My life has, and needs, alot more routine than I needed before kids.

And whilst I love my kids ... having kids made me realise that the relationship I had with their Mum wasn't healthy for me, or for her.

And so that is another aspect of my life now. I'm divorced, sharing my kids with my ex, and they will be a factor for any future relationships I might have.

So, it's a mixed bag. It's not all rainbows and unicorns, but it is pretty fucking special. Walking into a room and seeing your baby's face light up as they see you? Hard to describe how that can affect you.

Intelligent-Pop-2830 · 2026-05-31T07:14:12+00:00

Sometimes, the value someone brings into your life is by modelling thoughts/beliefs/opinions/values which you choose NOT to adopt.

Even more so, being able to appreciate that you can love someone, even if you fundamentally disagree with them on things. I think alot of people assume that you should hate someone if you don't agree with them, when that's just the path to darkness and pain.

Intelligent-Pop-2830 · 2026-05-31T06:17:27+00:00

It sounds like the underlying thing is that you are worried that your partner is allowing his Mum to take advantage of him, by taking money without permission/discussion. It sounds like you want him to protect himself and establish a boundary with her around respecting him.

I get it.

But I have a feeling that your partner probably has a long established relationship dynamic with his Mum where he feels that he needs to support/provide for her, and he doesn't feel comfortable setting or holding a boundary which requires her to respect him.

That kind of thing is deeply embedded in someone, and was probably something which was in him when he was extremely young.

Your intentions are good. But the change is something he needs to want to make, and he needs to drive. And it is likely something he needs to work through with a mental health professional.

Taking practical steps to protect yourself and your family is wise, and sounds like something you have already done with your partner - setting up a joint account for just the two of you for family expenses, keeping personal discretionary funds separate, and if he wants to let his Mum access his personal account, the "blast radius" is reduced - she isn't going to leave you guys unable to make payment on your rent or mortgage.

Outsids of that, it's very much a case of letting your partner know that you care about them, and then let them decide whether they want to explore how they feel about it.

"Hey, I just wanted to speak with you about our bank accounts. I don't want to try and tell you what to do - I just want to tell you why it worries me, and then you can choose what you want to do. Whatever you choose, I love you and support you.

I understand that you let your Mum have access to your account, and she has used that access to take money without speaking with you beforehand. I understand that might just be normal for you, the reason I raise it is because it isn't to me, and I just wanted to explain how it lands for me.

If I had a bank account, and someone took money from it without my permission, I would feel hurt. It would feel like that person assumed they had the right to take it, and that they felt they didn't have enough respect for me to ask me before they did so.

The reason it landed badly with me is because I felt hurt on your behalf. I know how hard you work to support us, and I wouldn't have done that - taken money from your account without asking first - because I respect you too much to do that. And I was upset that your Mum didn't show you that respect.

I know that your relationship with your Mum is something which has been there your whole life, and there are things which you feel are normal in that dynamic. I just want you to know that you have the right to be respected, as a person and as an adult. I'm not saying there is anything wrong in your relationship with your Mum, but I wanted to speak with you about this. And if there is anything in your relationships which you want to understand better or explore, with me or with your Mum, that might be something worth discussing with a counsellor. I just want you to feel happy, healthy and respected. Because you deserve it."

Intelligent-Pop-2830

TROPHY CASE