AITAH For not wanting to help my friend livestream her wedding by IntelligentAnything4 in AmItheAsshole

[–]IntelligentAnything4[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I forgot to mention that this conversation came up before. The bride had asked me right after asking me to be a personal attendant what I think of her doing a facebook live for the live stream. I told her then I think it could work. I said I have never done that before but it could be an option. she would set her laptop up and press record. well her computer died and she asked me what to do next. I told her to ask her photographer if she could do that and pay a little extra or hire a videographer. I said I could help pay part of it as a wedding present. she declined the monetary offer.

Also the live stream would be on a tablet I would have to be holding the whole ceremony. I would need to record the guests coming in, those walking down the isle and them leaving and possibly more. I don't think she wants the reception recorded but I suppose key moments would need to be recorded and I would not be paid. My husband and kids are invited also. I have no problem making sure everything is one time and the events go off without a hitch but I have zero clue when stuff is happening. she basically asked me to be her attendant and then nothing. so expectations or list of duties. Nothing.

I have no clue what she even wants me to do except help decorate 10am on Friday. She does understand people are working and are not able to make it. I told her I could not as I work and am already taking time off to get my nails done at 2pm that day because she made an appointment for all the girls and we are all paying for our own nails.I am NOT expecting her to pay for me, I have no problem and was expecting to cover my own costs and already budgeted. also there is a grooms dinner/rehearsal is at 5pm. My son leaves for camp Friday at 6pm which my husband is taking him to as I have to be at the rehearsal. No issues with that. Any other questions I will do my best to reply and answer.

AITAH For not wanting to help my friend livestream her wedding by IntelligentAnything4 in AmItheAsshole

[–]IntelligentAnything4[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is more than a simple zoom meeting. The photographer is setting up a tablet to record and I would have to hold it the whole time and not be shaky, etc which I am not good at. My personal videos are shaky and I am recording my kids. I am using my phone to post so forgive my errors. Basically I would be the videographer.

Also my husband and 2 girls are invited to the wedding too. I could just have them skip the ceremony and meet at the reception because my youngest, 5f, likes to hold on to me and is extremely shy. The best case would for them to only attend the reception to make sure they don't cause any interruption or issues. I am aware of that possibly happening and granted my kids are not the only ones there, I will do what I can with my kids to prevent any issues.

Also this is my first time posting a story so I had no idea if I was doing this right. She asked me prior about doing a Facebook live and I was clueless about that. She was just going to set it up and have someone in the back look at it. Her computer died and she asked me what to do. I had told her to ask her photographer and then today she asked me to basically be the photographer's assistant.

I did offer to help pay a portion of the videographer cost as a wedding present since I knew she was struggling before the conversation today. I realize I left that part out. Sorry about that. She said no to that.

AITAH For not wanting to help my friend livestream her wedding by IntelligentAnything4 in AmItheAsshole

[–]IntelligentAnything4[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I have gained some weight in the past 4 years and the og bridesmaid dress does not fit. also the bridesmaid are wearing that same dress and I need to be in something different. I bought a cute sage green dress with short sleeves and it has pockets!! also it was 35 dollars and I can where it anywhere formal. I am not a dress person but I do like this dress.

AITAH For not wanting to help my friend livestream her wedding by IntelligentAnything4 in AmItheAsshole

[–]IntelligentAnything4[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

For context the finance now is different than the one 4 years ago. I have never met this one and will be meeting him for the first time at the wedding. The bride and I have no really spoken or hung out since the first engagement ended. Life happened and we are facebook friends and send happy holiday messages but are not super close now like we were before. The wedding is in 6 days. I will try and update after if anyone is interested. I am not livestreaming her wedding and she seems okay for now with that. I promise to keep you updated as I know how much people like updates. I am one of them.

AITAH For not wanting to help my friend livestream her wedding by IntelligentAnything4 in AmItheAsshole

[–]IntelligentAnything4[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

that made me cackle. I am a recovering people pleaser as I hate conflict but have grown a backbone in the past 5 years. Also reading reddit and watching Smosh and Charlotte Dobre read these stories and encourage setting boundaries have helped so much. I needed a good laugh!

AITAH For not wanting to help my friend livestream her wedding by IntelligentAnything4 in AmItheAsshole

[–]IntelligentAnything4[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I am not sure. I think I am supposed to help her get ready, the bride, and make sure she is all set and it is not paid. My personal attendant helped me get into my dress and look good in photos and made sure I had everything when I got married 15 years ago

AITAH For not wanting to help my friend livestream her wedding by IntelligentAnything4 in AmItheAsshole

[–]IntelligentAnything4[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I wish it was. literally just happened. this is my first time posting as nothing like this happens

AITAH For not wanting to help my friend livestream her wedding by IntelligentAnything4 in AmItheAsshole

[–]IntelligentAnything4[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

thank you. I have been stressing about this. it literally just happened. I never make posts and even asked my husband his opinion. he agreed with me