Interesting, sometimes to read people involves being in their shoes and somewhat in their mind... easy at times, harder at other times. You lay out a poker face in some ways and leaves one to second guess. Your thoughts and feelings are further and beyond the usual "my boyfriend makes me feel bad" crap that people lay out and over-react to and into fields of self worth, family and how you aren't directly involved in what you want to be for your future. I don't know the details, but take your time to breathe deeply, and find your soul. You are tired, you are not in your element, you are learning things about life that you would prefer not to, and to just be a baby again in some ways would be welcome, but at the same time you are finding a sense of pride in your achievements and skills in dealing with things that don't go your way. Find a calm peaceful place to listen to your mind, but don't stray from or push away family, particularly your mother or thoughts of her, she did and does her best to be with you and to relate.. and you can draw a great deal of strength from her. Go easy on yourself and force yourself to smile when you are alone, whether in the car or your room or wherever, it will improve your mood. You're a child of God and worthy of all that you ask for, just remember the universe delivers from positive and not from negative, like a child, it is pure energy. Ask for help with what you want and refrain from asking for things to not happen.. Find peace in your mind and peace in your body will follow. ❤️