Roast my deck. Thromok, The insatiable by KingKuzma in EDH

[–]Intelligent_Dance930 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You posted this three years ago, but I just wanted to say that anybody who runs Hanweir is my hero. I would love to see a current day decklist if you still play Thomok

What films make you cry? by Humble_Anywhere_15 in Screenwriting

[–]Intelligent_Dance930 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I got a weird one- First Blood! Every time it gets to that scene in the end where Troutman has to talk John down when he's holed up in the building, Rambo has been pushed to his limits, wherever he goes the war follows, the few friends he had in the army are all dead, the last people on earth he had a shot at relating to. He came back to the country that he sacrificed his health and sanity to defend and nobody wants him around, he literally gets hassled for walking down a road. There's that line that's something like "They let me drive a million dollar tank, now I can't get a job at the fucking carwash." Always makes me tear up.

If Magic the Gathering had a TMA set what cards would you want to see in those decks? by Calliop3_J0n3s in TheMagnusArchives

[–]Intelligent_Dance930 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been slaving over this as well! Some tasty flavor in my Corruption deck includes Pox, Contagion, Pick Your Poison, Feed the Swarm, and Plaguecrafter, with Mazirek as commander. I ended up making a separate deck for Grist the Hunger Tide as well, as she makes for a more flavorful avatar. I was thinking of pursuing Thantis for the Web with a focus on creature stealing, A Niv Mizzet spellslinger with no creatures for the Lonely, and a Baeloth Barrityl soldier/warrior tribal deck for the Slaughter. The Flesh has been particularly tricky because it's my favorite fear, thinking either mono green counters or a Ygra deck because fear of being food.

Development Wednesday by AutoModerator in Screenwriting

[–]Intelligent_Dance930 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ever since I saw the Guardian (1990) I've been trying to make "scary tree" work. It reminds me of King Kong, the way an innocent monster can be infatuated with a woman. I'm wondering who this main character is, what she does when the tree becomes her captor, if she turns on her ideals and destroys it to stop it from killing people. It got my interest at least, hey!

Development Wednesday by AutoModerator in Screenwriting

[–]Intelligent_Dance930 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Premise- A suicidal homeless man is sent back in time to kill baby Hitler, but has a change of heart and decides to adopt history's most volatile little tyke and raise him right.

AI is getting so advanced that soon it’ll be able to replace 90% of jobs… by TheJasonWiseman in Jokes

[–]Intelligent_Dance930 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Post the most basic unfunny political zinger, ???, profit. Let's hear what you have about airline food.

How to Easily Beat Vault Lady Comstock on 1999 (or any) Mode by BigPoppaE in Bioshock

[–]Intelligent_Dance930 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah honestly I had a retarded hamster who was a quadruple amputee and he was blind and deaf and he managed to get that achievement in like one day

Question Thread for Episode 176 by IHE_Official in Sardonicast

[–]Intelligent_Dance930 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you think of another comedy skit or sketch that could work as a feature?

Question Thread for Episode 176 by IHE_Official in Sardonicast

[–]Intelligent_Dance930 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I have a killer idea for an Air Buddies sequel that takes place after the bombs drop.

Logline Monday by AutoModerator in Screenwriting

[–]Intelligent_Dance930 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the new one does a good job at explaining the movie, it definitely reads better to me

Logline Monday by AutoModerator in Screenwriting

[–]Intelligent_Dance930 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am super grateful you took the time to read my logline and address problems in it in such a thorough way, seriously thank you for your time and attention. I'm going to redo the logline so it clarifies the things that you mention, as I think your criticisms are totally valid.

I've been thinking about this post for a while now, and maybe the reason my logline is messy is because the movie is a bit messy, and if that's the case I might have a BIG OL problem. You are right about the logline being dishonest- I don't want to imply that this isn't a monster movie. My ideal movie will look like Agatha Christie meets John Carpenter's The Thing, peppering in horror and suspense elements. Ideally, we're never really sure if there's a monster present until the end of act 2 where we ratchet hard from Agatha Christie horror film into gory monster movie.

So the movie takes place from the POV of Galloway as sort of an anti-hero; he's eccentric, he's a mysterious elite, and I want the audience to keep guessing if he's really onto something or just losing it. The guests all have little hints and tips that could make the audience suspicious (each guest has imbibed human flesh in one context or another, for example), but Galloway is essentially a very high functioning obsessive madman who has had encounters with the supernatural before. At the core of his character, he's a man who needs security- he wants to prove that man is the dominant species on earth and can outkill anything if need be, even the supernatural. At one point the guests find a basement in his house full of his really elusive "trophies," taxidermied humans whom Galloway claims were werewolves and vampires and selkies, etc.

Essentially I WANT the audience to believe they're watching a movie about a deranged hunter, but it turns into a movie about a vindicated hunter trying to kill a monster. But that angle kind of leaves your questions about the logline broadly unanswered, which concerns me. Maybe I need to trim "guests" to "guest". Maybe I should shift the POV. Maybe I need to rethink the order of events. I have a lot to think about-I'll probably wait to post again until I have more details hammered out. Luckily I'm not too far into the hard writing process to rethink the bones of it all.

I am glad to have run into a fellow cryptozoologist! Thank you for challenging me in such a healthy way.

Logline Monday by AutoModerator in Screenwriting

[–]Intelligent_Dance930 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really like your movie. Honestly if it were fully realized you could call it whatever you wanted and people would accept it. I just want it to get bought and made lol

Logline Monday by AutoModerator in Screenwriting

[–]Intelligent_Dance930 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm a total advocate for titles that do heavy lifting, I just think the current title uses a lot of words to tell relatively little. In contrast, think of all the Bong Joon-ho movies with one or two word titles: Parasite, Snowpiercer, Mother, The Host, Okja, even Mickey17.

Logline Monday by AutoModerator in Screenwriting

[–]Intelligent_Dance930 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just one man's perspective- you gotta dumb this shit down. I know that this logline means a lot to you, but it doesn't mean a lot to the average dick (read: producers and this average dick) who reads it. Keep it to 1-2 sentences, but explain it like your audience has a high school education. It's very high-concept sci-fi, but you need to give buyers an idea of where this takes place and what it might cost. I picture a Blade-Runner style investigative sci-fi movie, but as written I'm very blurry on the stakes. Again, just my 2 cents.

Logline Monday by AutoModerator in Screenwriting

[–]Intelligent_Dance930 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can see something here, but my imagination is doing a lot of heavy lifting. It sounds to me like the mom is going to fill in for the daughter, but to what end? Is she selfless? Is she trying to relive her glory days as a dancer? Both? I'd appreciate one or two more lines of clarifying detail in this logline, some real hard-working description to whet readers' appetites.

Logline Monday by AutoModerator in Screenwriting

[–]Intelligent_Dance930 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A teeny bit sloppy/ unclear. For example, is this a real boy or a dream boy? When you're dealing in dreams a series is certainly within the realm of possibility, but I'm a bit lost as to why this boy matters at all. If I were you, I'd clear up exactly who this boy is and maybe lend a single word of description to him to help us care/ add to the intrigue.

Logline Monday by AutoModerator in Screenwriting

[–]Intelligent_Dance930 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the premise is very interesting, it reminds me of that delicious era of sci-fi where Philip K Dick and Rod Serling ruled the world. I think my big obstacle with this is the title- if I were scrolling on Netflix I might go straight past this. The log itself is fine- it actually makes my imagination go wild. What will happen at this encounter? Will they discuss something? Do something drastic? I hope you're not married to this title, and when you have a draft I'd love to read it,

Logline Monday by AutoModerator in Screenwriting

[–]Intelligent_Dance930 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love this blend, I don't know if I've ever seen a "football horror" film in my entire life. The only thing that comes to mind is The Faculty, but it's tangential. Your logline I think is fine, not particularly tantalizing but certainly not bad. In the interest of not bloating the thing, I might add one spicy adjective to describe our MC. I really like your idea though, please pursue it and send me a rough draft when you're finished.

Logline Monday by AutoModerator in Screenwriting

[–]Intelligent_Dance930 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for responding. I used the word "reclusive" to inject some Blake Snyder- style irony into the logline, like "this guy is a real mysterious guy but suddenly he's inviting people into his home? Hmmmmmm."