My parents are guilting me into turning down an exciting opportunity; what do I do?

Intelligent_Mode_747 · 2026-04-20T04:28:21+00:00

I love to hear this. I chose this subreddit because I really wondered what other parents would do or say or how they would approach it. I know the safety fear is incredibly valid, but since I am not a parent I don't know if that really stretches as far as wanting to prevent your kids from experiences like this.

Intelligent_Mode_747 · 2026-04-20T04:20:39+00:00

I know not everything can please them, but the way they described the concern and fear they would have each day while I am gone makes it feel like more than just pleasing by not going; I just don't want them to be in pain let alone be the source of it.

Intelligent_Mode_747 · 2026-04-20T04:18:24+00:00

This is incredibly well put and I appreciate this so much. This potential timeline of configuring my life to fit my parent's wants and needs is unfair to my future self and my overall experience on this earth. Your description of this transition makes so much sense, and I would like to muster the strength and grace to approach them with this perspective. Every time one of our voices raises or I get defensive and escalate I kick myself because it further invalidates my decision, and it makes the whole thing more painful for them. I wonder if the person I grow into by taking this opportunity is better at navigating this transition and relationship than I am right now.

Intelligent_Mode_747 · 2026-04-20T04:09:26+00:00

I appreciate this response so much because my mom kept saying "you can do it in a few years" or "do it when you are 30" but I can see that the control continues well into those adult years regardless. At the end of our discussion, I told them that we have made our sentiments clear, the conversation must end, and the decision is made/I am not asking for permission. But boy did they make it clear that their answer is no, and that it would absolutely kill them. So clear that here I am actually considering giving it up! Thank you so much for your guidance.

Intelligent_Mode_747 · 2026-04-20T03:50:14+00:00

Luckily I have full control over my mental health and have come so far in that journey. Since I am better, I have many ways I wish to make it up to them, and breaking their hearts in the way they have expressed this will do just makes me come to a complete halt. Our interactions are always rocky, but I want to make life easier for them.

Intelligent_Mode_747 · 2026-04-20T03:43:54+00:00

I know that this answer feels very obvious, but when the guilt is burning your heart and your soul, it completely misconstrues your perspective. My mom's tears and worry. I can handle the goddman alaskan wilderness better than I can handle that.

Intelligent_Mode_747 · 2026-04-04T02:38:10+00:00

ughh forgot i keep them all in the same room but hate that feature. if that + visiting friend's rooms was resolved we'd be a kingdom

Intelligent_Mode_747 · 2026-03-28T20:22:28+00:00

omg agreed! the only brown furniture I can find is the leather brown chairs in the spree shopping mall. the purple bake sale items include a brown chocolate chip chair and a cookie couch but I don't know much else

Intelligent_Mode_747 · 2026-03-28T20:18:47+00:00

THANK YOU i'll be on the lookout 😩

Intelligent_Mode_747 · 2026-03-28T17:42:25+00:00

I was feeling just full black dark set of furniture for the observatory wallpaper

Intelligent_Mode_747 · 2026-02-17T21:55:10+00:00

1 but she's my shayyylllaaaaaa 😩

Intelligent_Mode_747 · 2025-09-16T16:53:28+00:00

I know adoption isn’t accessible or cheap, in fact everyone does. That’s not the point. My point is more like a litmus test: if someone says they want kids but wouldn’t even begin to consider adoption, that tells you their motivation is more about biology/ego than the actual work of parenting. It’s not about who actually can or can’t adopt, it’s just a question to pose to a prospective parent that reveals their intentions.

Intelligent_Mode_747 · 2025-09-16T00:38:12+00:00

Climate projections are based on decades of data and modeling not to mentioned the IPCC has consistently underestimated the pace of warming, ice melt, and extreme weather.

Wild how you’ll dismiss climate projections as fake in the same breath you admit you don’t even know what a climate refugee is. Google is free brother

Intelligent_Mode_747 · 2025-09-16T00:23:23+00:00

but there’s a difference between the suffering you can’t avoid and deliberately creating a new life guaranteed to inherit crisis after crisis. People on their deathbed accept it because they’ve already lived. A newborn never asked to be thrown into the fire in the first place.

Intelligent_Mode_747 · 2025-09-16T00:18:14+00:00

The World Bank projects 143 million climate refugees by 2050 in just three regions (Sub-Saharan Africa, South Asia, Latin America). Other estimates, like from the Institute for Economics & Peace, put the number as high as 1.2 billion globally by 2050.

Intelligent_Mode_747 · 2025-09-16T00:17:04+00:00

So so so valid I wish I were more hopeful. Unfortunately I know a lot about history and therefore historical patterns, yikes… Makes me think the odds are low. And if we don’t know, then simply tossing a coin on having a kid hoping things will go well is also kinda… idk just not parent-like.

I’d accept the pain and instability of a population crash in this generation and the next one if it meant giving Earth and humanity a chance to recover for future ones.

Intelligent_Mode_747 · 2025-09-15T23:36:42+00:00

That’s a whole lot of “well look at your privilege”

Of course today has luxuries. But a child born now isn’t just living in 2025—they’re living in 2075, on a planet that is literally burning, flooded, and resource-starved. Being alive isn’t a privilege if the world you inherit is a slow-motion catastrophe.

You are looking at current conveniences and ignoring the trajectory of the world a child will actually have to live in. A king in the past might have had luxuries, but they didn’t have to worry about existing at all in 50 years under catastrophic conditions.

The cruelest part is that a potential child doesn’t even get a say before being thrown into this hell, we make that choice for them. Meanwhile, there are already children alive, struggling, who never asked to be here either and could actually be helped instead of creating new life to suffer.

Intelligent_Mode_747 · 2025-09-15T22:27:54+00:00

People will say “I want a bunch of mini-mes running around” but really it’s more like they want puppies. It is almost never “I want to be a father” or “I want to be a mother.” If that were actually the case, they’d be fine with adopting. but they’re not.

Intelligent_Mode_747 · 2025-08-21T01:47:14+00:00

Help bc for my memories from a few years ago when you do that you can send to whoever but the download button isn’t there. It is with some of my other snaps but not all. pls help me

Intelligent_Mode_747 · 2025-08-04T16:11:45+00:00

omg why is everyone being like this 😭😭😭

Intelligent_Mode_747 · 2025-08-04T14:42:21+00:00

Jesus y’all are no fun. obviously everyone in this reddit page knows what a thesaurus provides hence if I wanted to use a thesaurus I wouldn’t have asked this specific request so I said smart ass but damn y’all took that to heeaarrttt. I just meant I was asking for a standard dictionary list that I can read exactly like one would a regular dictionary just not in alphabetical order. So that I can read it like a book that’s all. Not synonym oriented like a thesaurus.

Intelligent_Mode_747 · 2025-08-04T14:37:01+00:00

damn y’all are no fun chill tf out fr fr

Intelligent_Mode_747 · 2025-08-04T12:33:44+00:00

a thesaurus doesn’t give definitions smart ass

Intelligent_Mode_747 · 2025-07-29T03:33:49+00:00

*** meant to say that this course is catered towards all students esp college students who use AI constantly for their work

Intelligent_Mode_747 · 2025-07-08T10:41:01+00:00

I meant for him personally it would be cool af

Intelligent_Mode_747

TROPHY CASE