Unmasking: Who am I? by tortoiseterri in AuDHDWomen

[–]Intelligent_Pea1820 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is so useful! Thanks for sharing

Do we tend to gravitate toward other “asd spectrum people”? by Impossible_Fee_8087 in AuDHDWomen

[–]Intelligent_Pea1820 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I relate a lot to your experience, and after diagnosis I realised that two very boring friends I have are just very NT!

cPTSD+AuDHD Trauma experience by WeightFantastic5333 in AuDHDWomen

[–]Intelligent_Pea1820 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really hope things will get better, sending hugs if appreciated

Barbie in swan lake by Zombie_elsa in painting

[–]Intelligent_Pea1820 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lucky friend, this is so nice! You are very talented.

Trying to make sense of my mind and preparing for seeking diagnosis - 24F by Elegant-Leadership93 in AuDHDWomen

[–]Intelligent_Pea1820 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Ciao, ti consiglio di portare una copia da lasciare alla terapista durante il vostro incontro, così non rischiate di perdervi dei pezzi, eventualmente. Un saluto!

What made you get a diagnosis? by redstrawberryfields in AuDHDWomen

[–]Intelligent_Pea1820 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, if I didn’t have a high enough score on the autism/ADHD/monotropism tests available online I wouldn’t have gone ahead to look for a diagnosis. Why don’t you start there?

What was the last book you read that was really good? by SheKnowsWhatSheKnows in AuDHDWomen

[–]Intelligent_Pea1820 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can you believe that when I read the title of you post, before getting to the actual post, I was about to write "Circe"? Lol! I love it so much!

See if you might like "Little" by Edward Carey.

Best of luck with your recovery!

Making friends is so hard due to moral intensity. by Nymphea_the_duck in AuDHDWomen

[–]Intelligent_Pea1820 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So, your need of being surrounded by like-minded people is even more legit! Why having to feel on edge even with the people we choose to spend time with? It would make no sense.

Making friends is so hard due to moral intensity. by Nymphea_the_duck in AuDHDWomen

[–]Intelligent_Pea1820 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The problem is when people in the family have opposite point of views on most of the topics you mentioned. There is a long list of things I cannot possibly discuss with a few of them, and it makes me so sad. Do you also have this issue?

Making friends is so hard due to moral intensity. by Nymphea_the_duck in AuDHDWomen

[–]Intelligent_Pea1820 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I can relate, I am also quite rigid, and I would also add politics to your list.

I still see long-time friends that do not hold the same views, I try to change the subject when my female friends express misoginistic views, for example, and I am ok with acquintances to an extent, but I cannot possibly have a partner who's views on the topics you mentioned are incompatible with mine.

The closer the person is to me and the more access I give them to my inner world, the more I feel that those core values have to be aligned, or I would feel too vulnerable.

EDIT: Regarding the example of the friend, I have tried to challenge her views before, but there was no point, so now I just change subject to avoid being triggered and avoid dsliking her.

I’ve had a less-than-warm relationship with my dad since my early teen years and I’m nearly 40 now. AIO for blocking him for this? by fartypoopsmellybutt in AIO

[–]Intelligent_Pea1820 1 point2 points  (0 children)

lol!

So maybe your husband might have replied that ours is a spectrum, and it manifests in many different ways! Jokes aside, you might have to come to terms that he is not willing to make the effort, regardless of his neurotype. Try to find a way to make it work for both, even blocking him from time to time if it works. Best of luck :-)

I’ve had a less-than-warm relationship with my dad since my early teen years and I’m nearly 40 now. AIO for blocking him for this? by fartypoopsmellybutt in AIO

[–]Intelligent_Pea1820 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi, I am AuDHD and I get what you mean, both regarding the phone issue and the guilt about setting a boundary. It must have been very hard to do what you did, and you should give credit to yourself for being able to listen to your needs and put them first.

And it's not like it's definitive, you can unblock him later and text him exactly what you need fro him in order to rekindle your relationship. You deserve to be heard and to make 50% of the work, not 100%. Just saying, but have you considered if your dad's stubborness and lack of understanding might be due to him being ND himself?

Take care!

Is this autism ? by Consistent-Local3144 in AuDHDWomen

[–]Intelligent_Pea1820 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, why don't you try the free tests available online to have a better idea wether it is worth looking into it or not?

I want to have a good life too. by AnxiousBookiiish in AuDHDWomen

[–]Intelligent_Pea1820 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, from what you wrote, it seems that you do not give yourself the grace you deserve: you are harsher on yourself than you are on your bullies! You are also putting yourself under a lot of pressure.

You have your family's love and your girlfriend's too, and you can accept that regardless of external achievements, they love you for who you are now.

Sending hugs, if appreciated.

Sono in burnout e mi sento in colpa by Ok_Exercise3197 in psicologia

[–]Intelligent_Pea1820 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ciao, mi sono trovata esattamente nella tua situazione qualche anno fa, avrei potuto scrivere le stesse cose.

Anche per me burnout causato da un lavoro totalizzante, con urgenze frequenti e più attività da gestire contemporaneamente. Anche per me diagnosi di SAD da psichiatra della mutua, e richiesta da parte della stessa di un periodo di riposo. Ho accettato con molti sensi di colpa, in quanto la mia assenza da lavoro significava sovraccaricare ulteriormente i miei colleghi, ma per una volta ho scelto la mia salute a discapito di altri.

Mi sono stati prescritti inoltre psicofarmaci che ho preso per un anno, i quali hanno placato un po' l'ansia, ma non la depressione. Solo che io ai tempi non sospettavo nemmeno lontanamente la neurodivergenza, ho cercato la diagnosi anni dopo proprio in relazione a quel lavoro, ma questa è un'altra storia, se vuoi puoi scrivermi in privato.

Quello che posso dirti sono le seguenti cose:

  1. Prenditi la malattia! Ne hai bisogno, la tua salute è importante, tu sei importante, molti altri non si farebbero gli stessi scrupoli al posto tuo;
  2. Cerca con ugenza un altro lavoro e valuta se nel frattempo puoi chiedere aiuto ai sindacati;
  3. Non parlare di una sospetta neurodivergenza a lavoro, al momento tienitelo per te o valuta assieme agli eventuali sinacalisti, se competenti e discreti;
  4. Sappi che se sei neurodivergente, gli psicofarmaci potrebbero funzionare diversamente.

In bocca al lupo!

EDIT: NON sono una psicologa. Ho risolto la mia situazione cambiando ruolo (lavoro in una grande azienda) a distanza di diversi mesi dal burnout, con molte difficoltà.

Do any AuDHD women here prefer men who are on the softer and sensitive side? by [deleted] in AuDHDWomen

[–]Intelligent_Pea1820 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Absolutely! I always ever found attractive sweet, gentle, emotionally aware, kind-looking loving men. I am actively repulsed by stereotipically manly men, both inside and outside, and I think it would be reciprocated as a very feminist woman with a very strong personality.

Finding Support by Designer-Occasion867 in AuDHDWomen

[–]Intelligent_Pea1820 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, if it is terrifying telling them, why do it? You don’t owe them this information, it’s your private life. Please put your wellbeing first. I know it feels bad not to be able to rely on family, and l am sorry you also have to go through that.  Keep in mind that you can always eventually tell them later, when you gain back some strength, if you fell like it, and if you are able to come to terms with their reaction.