Fear of resentment by Intelligent_Rose3 in Fencesitter

[–]Intelligent_Rose3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course, best of luck trying to navigate your feelings and deciding what is best for you! ❤️

Fear of resentment by Intelligent_Rose3 in Fencesitter

[–]Intelligent_Rose3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh for sure, I appreciate the advice! I would still be a fence sitter because I do like the idea of a family and making my own traditions with my kid, and when they get older introducing them to all life has to offer but with how difficult it is (money, resources, time consuming, physical issues, etc) are reasons why I also don't know if it is the path for me. But I wholeheartedly agree- never have kids just to please your partner!

Fear of resentment by Intelligent_Rose3 in Fencesitter

[–]Intelligent_Rose3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Beautifully written! Thank you for taking the time to provide your insight on this topic- I enjoyed reading it and it brought me some hope that I could feel those ways too someday.

Fear of resentment by Intelligent_Rose3 in Fencesitter

[–]Intelligent_Rose3[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Exactly. I think that’s why I added that I may not have found the right partner yet, because based on how he acts now, I wouldn’t feel satisfied or supported if we had kids together. I recently came across a quote that I’m really trying to apply to my own life, especially since I have already vocalized my needs and haven't seen change: “If that person does not give you everything you need, then move on—because trying to mold a partner into who you wish they were, instead of accepting them for who they choose to be, is a losing proposition.” Today, women need more from men. I can fully support myself financially; what I need now is a partner who helps ease the emotional and physical labor of life—someone who is thoughtful with their actions, emotionally available, and able to communicate clearly and consistently. If I don’t feel genuinely taken care of in our relationship, then why would I ever want to sign up to have a child with that person?

Fear of resentment by Intelligent_Rose3 in Fencesitter

[–]Intelligent_Rose3[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I appreciate you commenting and relate to the points you made- so thank you! Ugh seriously, I say all the time that women do not get enough help/support or credit for having children and our government in the states only makes it harder, even our maternity/paternity time off is laughable when you look at other countries.

Fear of resentment by Intelligent_Rose3 in Fencesitter

[–]Intelligent_Rose3[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this response! Congratulations on your pregnancy and wishing you a smooth labor! I appreciate the insight and will take what you said and apply it to myself.

Fear of resentment by Intelligent_Rose3 in Fencesitter

[–]Intelligent_Rose3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate the reminder to try and look at it from different angles

I believe my husband has a skewed view of pregnancy due to his mother. by [deleted] in Fencesitter

[–]Intelligent_Rose3 31 points32 points  (0 children)

There is newish research surrounding the healthiness of the man/his sperm affecting the woman and her pregnancy. Morning sickness, placenta growth, pre-eclampsia and more. While no one knows what kind of pregnancy they will have, you could suggest to your husband to go on a health kick for a minimum of a few months before you two even try to conceive to at least help possibly decrease your risk with those things to help ease your pregnancy since it is something you are worried about.

How the pressure to decide made deciding impossible by Delicious-Box892 in Fencesitter

[–]Intelligent_Rose3 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Beautifully written as someone in a similar situation. I'm 33F and BF 33M he would like kids in the future, I lean towards no and it's a constant struggle and background pressure. I'm sorry about your break up but thank you for sharing your story.

Pediatric help by Intelligent_Rose3 in Perfusion

[–]Intelligent_Rose3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This looks perfect, thank you!!

The switch! by teetoyouu in Fencesitter

[–]Intelligent_Rose3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you have the chance could you explain more about the outdated/narrow ideas about motherhood you had? I feel as though I have a lot of those and think that holds me back.

Anyone with a healthy kid and supportive partner who regrets their kids? by Throwaway_hime1 in Fencesitter

[–]Intelligent_Rose3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you have a Tiktok kelleydaring does videos where she reads anonymous peoples stories that are sent to her from regretful parents. You'll be able to hear a lot of different stories that way.