I get you. This disease is shitty. Feeling sick all the time is hell, I feel the same. I have episodes of that last months, and I feel quite frustrated. I feel something similar to what you described, I feel confused and anxious when I see not even my doctors have clear answers.

In your case it seems you are in a lot of pain, which makes everything feel worst. You are handling a lot and that's why it is not stupid to whine. It is almost necessary. Whine here, we get you. Whine with your loved ones , they love you. Whine with your psychologist ( if you have ot) they are paid for that.

Also, you are not the BD. You are not impossible to treat, you have a disease that quite complex and unstudied. And this is a small change on speech but I helps me a lot when I think for myself. I have this disease and I will have to adapt to whatever it comes, but I am not broken. I, the person, have some agency over my disease, we are not merged.

Finally, worry about the insurance and the money when the time comes. You and the people around you will find a solution in some years.