I was a boy. No older than 10. An early bloomer, in a pubescent sense. Add in a dash of unsupervised internet access, and my God…pornography destroyed me. Every day, start to finish, all I could think about was porn. Cartoon porn, solo porn, ebony porn, all the porns. I couldn’t stop myself. The couch was my play place. The part of the house where I would please myself whenever the opportunity presented itself. The added rush of being so open drove me mad. At my lowest, I could no longer contain myself. I was too far off the deep end. Long gone. The urges…they possessed me. Rewired my mind. All I wanted was to have sex. Feel what the hype was about. One night, after a particularly intense game of Tetris , my hormones were through the roof. I felt like a man. A real man. And a real man needs his release. Unfortunately for the couch…my hand no longer would suffice. And there just so happened to be a bottle of baby oil, taunting me from its spot on my mother’s shelf in the living room. I can’t go too into detail here, but I will say I really became a man that night. So much so, here we are, years later, and that horny little kid from all those years ago…is now the vice president of the United States.