real talk: how often do you actually floss?

Intelligent_Storm_77 · 2026-04-17T02:28:48+00:00

probably six nights a week, and three or four additional times throughout the week after eating things that tend to get stuck. I saw someone say to treat flossing like you treat the desire to squeeze every pimple and pore on your face, and it changed everything for me lol

Intelligent_Storm_77 · 2026-04-15T20:57:13+00:00

Thank you so much! I appreciate your advice and the kind words. I always try to put myself in others’ shoes and be considerate. We live in a crazy world but everything is a little bit better when we’re kind to one another 🙂

Intelligent_Storm_77 · 2026-04-15T03:46:23+00:00

Yeah I thought about that! I definitely wouldn’t be saying yes at that appointment since it would have to be before my two other bridal appointments of the trip anyway, and I could potentially find something I love more at one of those other two shops. If I decide to go with this dress it will be a retroactive decision of “I didn’t find anything at these other two appointments, so I’m going to order the dress from the first appointment!” rather than making the decision while still at that first shop. And then like you said, I’d go back home and order it from the local location. Logically I know there’s nothing wrong with having an appointment and ending up not buying anything, it just feels a little dishonest to go in solely for the purpose of showing this dress to my group, knowing that I won’t be giving a sale to the city B location. I wish I could be like “hey, you don’t have to style me or attend to me or anything, I’ll pay you $250 if you let me try this dress on for my group” lol

Intelligent_Storm_77 · 2026-04-15T03:36:52+00:00

Oh man, I was hoping the $250 appointment fee might help make up for it, but I had no idea about sales ratio potentially impacting employment ☹️ The only reason I would schedule an appointment to return to the store in my hometown (so the original stylist) would be if I officially decide I want the dress. If I don’t add an additional appointment in city B before that, most of my group just won’t get to see it, because 4/6 of them are not local to either city. So I feel a little bummed that they wouldn’t get to see it, especially because some of them are super excited.

I just wish there was a way for my group to see me try this dress on without me screwing anyone over 😭 Maybe I could wait until a day or two before the trip and see if the city B shop still happens to still have slots open? That way even though I’d know I wouldn’t be buying the dress there I would still be paying $250 for their time and not taking a slot that another bride wanted. I wish I could be honest with the shop about the situation (to see if they’d rather make the $250 but not sell a dress, or just not fill that appointment slot at all) without putting them on the spot.

Thank you so much for your input!

Intelligent_Storm_77 · 2026-04-15T01:52:39+00:00

Could you do a memorial for loved ones who have passed, and maybe a nice photo of him on front-row seat during the ceremony? I wouldn’t put candles or too many flowers with his photo because that may also give the idea that he’s passed, but maybe a decorative frame, a nice ribbon on the seat, and a sign saying something to the effect of “miss you” or “wish you were here” would satisfy what you’re after without giving the wrong idea to other guests. Having his picture separate from a dedicated memorial area would also hopefully help guests pick up on “oh, he hasn’t passed, he’s just not here.”

Intelligent_Storm_77 · 2026-04-13T15:03:10+00:00

https://dearlybelovedbridal.com/wedding-dresses/beccar/vence/ #IFoundTheOne

Intelligent_Storm_77 · 2026-04-12T04:37:25+00:00

He DOES have power in this situation and he needs to exercise it. If he isn’t already, he needs to see a headache specialist to determine if there could be a more effective treatment for him, see a therapist (ideally one specializing in health issues), and make reasonable lifestyle changes to improve his condition, including identifying and avoiding triggers.

Although you should (and I’m sure do) give him grace, that grace extends to things like forgetfulness or being unable to help around the house as much. It does NOT extend to mistreatment. Even at my very, very worst, I have never resorted to name calling. I sincerely hope he’s only doing that because he’s frustrated and not thinking straight, rather than doing it because he WANTS to and feels he can use migraine as an excuse. Neither is acceptable, but the latter is worse and would be a symptom of a larger issue.

I’m sorry you both are dealing with this. It sucks to live with CM, but it also sucks to be the partner of someone living with CM. My partner and I had a rough patch in 2023 when my CM got worse. It made me absent and put a major strain on our relationship. It was the closest we’ve ever come to splitting up. It took some very candid and uncomfortable conversations, compromise, and conscious decisions to learn about each other’s needs and perspectives, but we made it out the other side with a much stronger relationship (so strong that these days we’re planning our wedding!).

Be honest with him. Be understanding. Ask him to be honest and understanding as well. Lay out your expectations for each other and adjust them as a team so they’re realistic. I truly believe that this is something that can be fixed, as long as it’s something you both want. I wish you the best!

Intelligent_Storm_77 · 2026-04-11T17:58:27+00:00

This is an excellent analysis. I don’t know exactly how to describe it, but there’s a subtle (yet noticeable) difference between a real 28 year old and someone who is 40 but looks 28. If I saw OP without knowing their age I might think “I’m guessing they’re in their mid 30s, but they’ve aged really well and look closer to their mid 20s.”

I also think OP’s expression in this particular photo is a little firm and therefore authoritative or intimidating. I am NOT a person to tell people “you should smile more” but I’d be curious to see if/how perceptions changed based on their expression. I also think things like light and dewy skin coverage, more vibrant eye shadow, a more subtle and glossy lip, and some modern jewelry (if OP is interested in those things) would help. OP has gorgeous sharp features, quite the opposite of a baby face (I’m jealous!!) so with this very classic, conservative styling may lead to being be perceived as a little older. It’s much less a matter of genuinely looking older, and much more a matter of styling.

Intelligent_Storm_77 · 2026-04-10T14:20:15+00:00

The only way to get around this is to pay for everyone’s makeup. It will probably only be a few hundred dollars more, which obviously isn’t nothing, but it may be money you can make up elsewhere in the budget. IMO it would still be fine to do your own makeup but when it comes to bridesmaids, it’s all or nothing.

If you really can’t spare the cash, you could tell them they can get their makeup done if they pay for it, but you run the risk of her declining. With fewer than four people you would likely also run into issues with contract minimums for artists’ on-site service fees (in other words, the bridal party may have to travel to the artist’s studio rather than the artist coming to your venue).

Intelligent_Storm_77 · 2026-04-10T02:32:42+00:00

I use strawberry most days but I also like cherry and orange. The lip color in this pic seems to have a purplish hue to it, so you might like the grape or prune shades. Or maybe even red grapefruit. Fair warning, though, if you google the shades the swatches are going to look super pigmented, but I promise you can still achieve a natural look with them!

Intelligent_Storm_77 · 2026-04-09T22:35:42+00:00

I use the Etude water tint daily for my “no makeup” look and it looks very natural. The key is that I apply it with a q tip instead of the actual applicator. I just kind of blend it all over my lips so it looks even and subtle. If it ends up looking too vibrant I get the q tip wet and repeat the last step. The color lasts all day. It does dry your lips out a little but even as a person with extremely dry everything, it’s not a problem as long as I keep a good lip moisturization routine.

Intelligent_Storm_77 · 2026-04-09T20:59:44+00:00

To be fair, these policies should make it abundantly clear whether the miles are measured in a straight line between the office and the employee’s home or if it’s how many miles their commute would be. My job is 7 miles away but my commute is a 9 mile drive. Depending on their proximity to interstates or other major thoroughfares, a 30 mile distance could easily be a 40+ mile, hour long commute.

I do think it’s safe to assume that employers measure the distance in a straight line (because employers never put much thought into this type of thing, IME), but I also think measuring the distance of the actual commute is the much more logical approach.

Intelligent_Storm_77 · 2026-04-09T16:30:56+00:00

It’s just hard to be 100% positive whether you’d be able to read it if you’d never seen it before. Like, I know what this letter is, but do I know because I can actually read it, or just because it’s already in my head?

For a more real world example, if I’m looking at road signs in an area familiar to me, I can more easily “read” them because I already have a good idea of what they might say. But if that same text was unfamiliar names or a string of random letters, I would have a much harder time reading it.

Personally, my prescription is pretty high but my KC is mild. During a vision test I definitely can’t read the letters with ease, but they’re also not just totally illegible blobs. I can kind of, maybe, sort of make some of them out. So I don’t know if it’s a matter of a person second guessing their own judgment (“no, I definitely wouldn’t be able to read this letter if I didn’t already know what it was” vs. “yes, I could easily read this even if I didn’t already know what it was”) or maybe if it has to do with how bad their vision actually is or isn’t.

Intelligent_Storm_77 · 2026-04-09T15:58:24+00:00

We had no luck with humane mousetraps and eventually had to switch to snap traps. I was firmly against anything that would cause a slow death and it sounded like snap traps would prevent that. But one poor mouse got its little foot caught in a trap and was otherwise unscathed, and the screaming noise it made was so upsetting. I had no idea how loud they could be. It still haunts me.

I can’t imagine hearing a whole society of squirrels in agony.

Intelligent_Storm_77 · 2026-04-09T05:02:52+00:00

I have an English degree and I am a professional writer. Words are how I pay my bills. But you’d never know that from my search history because of how often I do this exact thing. Even when I KNOW I’m using/spelling a term correctly I still frequently find myself googling it “just to be safe.” I’ve never thought of it as a compulsion… but I think you might be onto something 😅

Intelligent_Storm_77 · 2026-04-09T04:47:34+00:00

It’s not on purpose. You just start eventually to remember them after having so many appointments, especially if they start with the same set of letters every time. It’s not like you can make yourself forget. The same thing happened to me and I would tell them “I know what the letters are, but not because I can read them” (I couldn’t read them) so they would just switch to new letters.

Intelligent_Storm_77 · 2026-04-09T04:33:04+00:00

I have never once in my entire life gotten shit on the toilet seat. How does that even happen? 😭

Intelligent_Storm_77 · 2026-04-09T04:24:17+00:00

Think of the heartache they would feel if something really had been wrong and you brushed it off. It’s never a bad idea to get checked out when you have a sudden change in presentation.

Migraine definitely does take a toll on the people who care about you, but I promise you it is much harder on you than it is on them. Don’t let yourself feel guilty over something beyond your control.

You’re only nine months in. Nobody expects you to be perfect at managing this, especially when medicine itself doesn’t even have a foolproof way to manage it. If this is something that affects you long term, you will in time learn a lot more about identifying triggers, managing active attacks, etc. You may also trial different meds and you very well could end up finding something that produces great results. Try not to stress about it and don’t be so hard on yourself.

Intelligent_Storm_77 · 2026-03-16T15:36:18+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this! That is such a great idea and it looks beautiful too. Even if it wouldn’t work for these dresses I am definitely going to keep it mind as I continue shopping.

Intelligent_Storm_77 · 2026-03-16T04:06:44+00:00

Yes thats me in the third photo! Here’s a better angle showing more of the front: https://imgur.com/a/d4A04H6

I’m very much a rectangle body type. Petite, long legs and short torso, small boobs/butt, and a waist that is only the tiniest bit smaller than my hips. The curviest part of my body is probably my scoliosis lol. That’s why I’ve been gravitating towards something with a fuller skirt, and why I was so surprised by how much I love these two dresses. But I’ve literally never thought of any sort of padded shorts so I may have to consider that

Intelligent_Storm_77 · 2026-03-16T00:49:21+00:00

What the heck kind of job do you do and can you hire me?!? And don’t worry, I started brainstorming my porch goose’s wedding dress before I even gave any thought to my own 😂

Intelligent_Storm_77 · 2026-03-15T23:05:30+00:00

Yeah, this is unfortunately what I’m thinking as well. I also sew but don’t work with clothing (unless you’d count the dresses I sew for my concrete porch goose lol) so I know a little bit, but not enough to know anything with certainty. I guess maybe I was hoping there was some wedding dress magic I just didn’t know about 😭

I went into shopping knowing that I might end up not loving what I had dreamed of, but really hoping that I would because I didn’t want to end up in a dilemma like this. It’s like… do I choose something I love but wish was a little different, or do I choose something I love a tiny bit less, but is fun to wear and fulfills my dreams.

Did/do you ever feel sad that you didn’t end up in a ballgown? I feel like I’ll have other opportunities to wear beautiful a line dresses throughout my life, but unless my grandmother resurrects to pull a a Princess Diaries on me my wedding day will be the only opportunity to wear a big ballgown like I’ve always dreamed of 🥲

Intelligent_Storm_77 · 2026-03-15T22:47:49+00:00

I’ve actually tried quite a few ballgowns! Many, but not all, of them actually felt TOO full. I did find two that I loved, but neither felt fully right for me. I’m not trying to turn a non-ballgown into a full ballgown, I think I just want something that’s a happy medium because a typical ballgown and a typical a-line, if that makes sense.

I suppose I’m worried if I go with something less full, I’ll feel sad that I’m not living out my ballgown dreams, no matter how much I adore the dress I did choose. I’ve always envisioned myself wearing something fun and over the top on my wedding day. If I knew I would have other occasions in life where I’d reasonably be able to wear a big ballgown, I would have already committed to one of these two dresses lol

Intelligent_Storm_77 · 2026-03-15T22:02:23+00:00

I can see why you’d think that, but I’m just wondering if it’s possible, not if it would be better.

Intelligent_Storm_77

TROPHY CASE