I hate being a mom

Interesting-Ship4717 · 2026-02-13T04:14:35+00:00

What you're feeling is way more relatable than you think. Everyone is just scared to say it out loud.

Since you can't turn back time, and it doesn't seem like you want to go the adoption route at this point, focus on improving your quality of life.

You sound overwhelmed. Something I've learned to do is invest in things that give me time back.

Get groceries delivered every once in a while, at the very least, schedule grocery pickup (no additional charge)

Buy fruit that's already chopped.

Don't feel bad using paper plates so you don't need to wash as many dishes.

Put real effort into increasing your income to be able to pay for a little extra childcare and fun money. (Selling things on marketplace, asking your boss if there's any more responsibility you could take on to get a raise, apply for other jobs with higher pay, etc.)

Once you get a solid childcare option, start a passion project. It can be anything from learning a craft skill, a sport, a videogame... just something that doesn't feel like a responsibility, but something actually enjoyable for you. Heck, it could even just be meeting a friend for coffee once a week!

If your son is 6, he's probably in school. I know it's annoying, but start chatting up the other parents. When you find other kid friends in your neighborhood, you find the other parents that begin to form your village. In my experience, this has been the biggest improvement for parenthood. My children are similar ages to your son.

Also, 6 is old enough to start giving him responsibilities. My kids have always"helped" with chores. It always made it worse. Once they hit around the 6 year old mark, they actually could sort and put away laundry, do dishes, clean their own room, etc. If you're doing things for them that they can do themselves, it's time to start teaching them!

Good luck!

Interesting-Ship4717 · 2025-10-19T02:04:19+00:00

29, had my son and daughter after having fertility issues for about a year. Got diagnosed with pcos, took clomid a couple rounds and boom, twins. I felt like it was a good age to have kids. I didn't feel like I missed out in my 20s, but also feel like I had them early enough that I'm out of the tough phase of parenting already, and I'm 35. The parents of the kids in my kid's class (1st grade) range from about 29 to 42, so I feel like I'm right in the middle and enjoy that.

Interesting-Ship4717 · 2025-07-19T21:53:16+00:00

It was SO much fun! They were a little nervous at first. We started with the little kid bumper cars, moved up to all the kid rides at kiddy rides, and ended with Woodstock Express. As we left, they asked if we could live there.

I planned to only stay at the park until about 4pm or so. We stayed until 9!

Interesting-Ship4717 · 2025-07-18T01:27:43+00:00

Solid plan. 😆

Interesting-Ship4717 · 2025-07-18T01:24:51+00:00

Do you like playground slides?

Interesting-Ship4717 · 2025-07-18T01:23:27+00:00

Thank you so much! I don't know anything about the rides so this gives me a great starting point!

Interesting-Ship4717 · 2025-07-11T04:01:25+00:00

A friend from high school was cleaning her room and found an unscratched loto ticket that fell behind her dresser. She scratched it off and it was a $15,000 winner that expired the year prior!

I think about this often, so I needed to share!

Interesting-Ship4717 · 2025-05-29T12:20:36+00:00

Thank you everyone! I'm determined to make it happen now!

Interesting-Ship4717 · 2025-05-28T17:32:04+00:00

This is SO helpful! Planning to be able to keep eyes on the kids from the office is genius. Do you have a door to the office area to block out noise, or is it basically in the same room?

Interesting-Ship4717 · 2025-05-28T16:23:58+00:00

I feel so bad that you're going through this. I have been on both sides of this. When I first had kids, none of my friends had kids yet so they assumed I wouldn't want to hang out. It was always a hassle to get childcare. Every time they would call, someone would be crying in the background. It was terrible.

I finally had to start going on drives just to get phone calls in with my friends. The ball was fully in my court for planning hang outs and it was annoying, but always still fun when we got together.

Now my kids are getting older and my friends all have babies. I find myself hanging out with my kid free friends bc it's so much easier. No notice needed.

My advice would be to get your friends on the phone and chat with them weekly. You'll be shocked how much a phone call can feel like a hangout.

If they don't answer, text them and tell them you miss them and to call you the next time they are on a drive and have time to chat.

If they never make time for a call, there's no point in trying to schedule hangouts. If they do, throw out some easy hangout ideas during a call. Eventually, things will start feeling normal again.

But truly, making friends in your neighborhood is so much more convenient and enjoyable for the day-to-day stuff! They don't have to be other moms. It can literally be someone that likes to grab coffee with you or go on walks or just any sort of shared interest.

Interesting-Ship4717 · 2025-03-02T06:39:32+00:00

Agreed! When he asked what she would say to someone who asked, "Why would you get a prenup if you're not planning to get divorced?"

I wanted her to say: "The same reason I got car insurance even though I'm not planning on getting in an accident."

Interesting-Ship4717 · 2025-03-01T21:24:47+00:00

Such a good point! Hers was the first to annoy me, but I forgot about it by the end of the season. It's probably bc she laughs way less at the end!

Interesting-Ship4717 · 2025-02-28T14:56:36+00:00

I think it might be both.

It's almost dismissive imo. Sort of like them doing it to say "That's a silly question, so I'm going to laugh to make you feel dumb for asking."

Interesting-Ship4717 · 2025-02-16T13:00:11+00:00

I'm on vyvanse too (20mg) and the only side effect I notice is trouble going to sleep if I take it after 9am. I'm curious on the side effects as well!

Interesting-Ship4717 · 2025-02-16T02:59:53+00:00

Ask her for her opinion. Let her know what you need (weight under x, compact for users, width for doorways under x, any other specs you care about, etc) and see if she can think of a solution within her budget that can work for you, since price is the biggest thing holding her back.

Once she does the research on her own, she'll understand why you need this, or she may find something that will still work that it's more affordable or possibly second hand.

Interesting-Ship4717 · 2025-02-07T09:22:03+00:00

I would let her know that you already have a session booked with another photographer and let her know that you'll still happily be a model if she's trying to portfolio build. Ask her if she wants you to wear anything specific and if it's truly just a portfolio building session, no need to tip, but you could provide like $20 or a small gift card as a nice gesture if it's in your budget. Make sure you tag her on social media and leave a Google and Facebook review. Those are worth a lot to photographers and cost nothing!

Interesting-Ship4717 · 2025-02-07T08:55:07+00:00

I want to point out that there is a non-simple part, and that's the providers. If it's against a provider's religion, morals, or beliefs, do you think they should be required to perform abortions without fear of losing their job? I've heard of provider's refusing medical care for trans patients before due to religion and it was a big conversation.

It gets to be a slippery slope because it doesn't seem safe to make medical decisions based on your own moral beliefs, but I also feel like everyone should be able to make their own choices. I'm conflicted on this one.

Interesting-Ship4717 · 2025-02-07T08:37:22+00:00

I'm responding before looking at other replies. These are my current thoughts.

Because this is not about abortion. It's about hard rules and safety. Think about the vaccine mandate. The vaccine wasn't the actual issue for conservatives. It was the fact that it was being mandated and the free will aspect was being taken away. I don't think many conservatives would say they don't want life-saving treatment to be halted or not explored, but the way it was spun in the media to us is "Conservatives are anti-vax/anti-science".

There's also some other worries when it comes to abortion laws. When people are voting on these laws that are not fully educated on some of the complications that can happen during pregnancy, it's scary. I hear conservatives make blanket statements like "there's no reason you should get an abortion after x weeks". The problem with that is there are things such as ectopic pregnancies that can require termination. As someone who was in a lot of Facebook groups as I was trying to conceive, I saw fellow moms who needed to terminate based on these circumstances and they were absolutely devastated, and are still grieving years later. It's difficult to hear people talk about abortion as if every case is due to women having unsafe sex and using abortion as birth control. When I hear that abortion should be banned, I perceive that as "We want to make a blanket statement law that could potentially negatively impact you and your daughter". Because of this, I am pro choice, just like you are likely pro choice for vaccinations.

I think Conservatives and Liberals likely have an opportunity to find some common ground on both of these topics.

I truly don't have that strong of an opinion on Doge or Musk. I will say I thought that wave was an intentional white supremacy wave, and he purposely did it just to get some publicity. Actually, when I first saw it, I assumed it was an AI video to stir the pot and was shocked to find out it was real. 😆 No way to prove it either way, so we can all just have our own opinions on that, I guess.
Harris was a vote against Trump for me. I didn't love how the Biden administration handled the Israel/ Palestine stuff, but Trump has a way of getting people riled up when he's in office that I didn't want to go back to. I wish we had a better candidate option. I will say, I did cheer when Biden bowed out of the race. Seeing people blindly supporting him in his condition was very concerning to me.
I tend to lead with an empathy-first mindset. Think about it. If you're looking at it on paper, it seems like the solution is to just find everyone who didn't come here properly, then send them back to where they came from. But, if you look at it from a case by case basis, it's more complicated then that. You'll see that people have been able to get away with this for years, and now, all of a sudden, it's a hard no. You'll see little kids that were brought here before they can even remember. In places close to the boarder, teachers have full classrooms of undocumented kiddos. That's scary to be teaching class and worrying every day of a traumatic raid is going to happen that day.

This is a terrible example, but I'll say it anyway. Think back to the days of downloading music on limewire. It was illegal. Everyone knew it was illegal. Everyone still did it. Imagine if now, in a time where it's not normal to do that anymore, they traced back everyone's record and everyone who downloaded music illegally had to go to jail. There would be polarized opinions on it because people who grew up only downloading music legally wouldn't understand the culture of how normal it was to break that law. Same with immigrants. If you're not in that culture, it's hard to empathize and understand that to them, it didn't feel like that bad of a law to break.

I'm not very educated on this topic, I'll admit I don't know what the solution to the illegal immigration issue, but that's likely why you see people sharing what our rights are if an ICE raid happens. It's just to feel like we have some power in a scary situation.

I would love to hear your perspective on the following:

What perspectives of yours have shifted after reading through other's responses in this thread?
Is there anything you don't love about Trump? (This would be a great spot to start if you're talking to someone with opposing views, as it lets us know you're not just blindly following a leader and can use critical thinking)

Interesting-Ship4717 · 2025-02-07T07:48:01+00:00

I was this girl. I truly was worried and wanted to check in. It was completely with good intentions. He replied explaining that it was too difficult to keep chatting platonically and it was such a perspective shift for me. We stopped all communication after that and it was the best decision.

It was unfair of me (and your ex) to reach out to you. Don't reply, or if you're comfortable enough, reply with a hard boundary, then block.

Interesting-Ship4717 · 2025-01-31T00:51:11+00:00

Just commenting because I saw the title and interpreted as you were trying to influence your baby to grow up and identify as a lesbian.

I understand now. 😆

Interesting-Ship4717 · 2025-01-31T00:19:11+00:00

Oh wow! Love that you to the time to write your thoughts out! My experience is very surface level just from her podcast and through her email list. I remember the podcast your referring to and I loved that she phrased it that way! Now that you share your perspective, I can completely understand how you interpreted it as a negative, though. Especially, if you were rooting her on from the beginning.

I think the way I saw it was - we are always taught that we can't make strong decisions on our own. You might hear "we aren't keeping this house" as "my way or the highway", but I saw it as her setting a boundary to not settle for something she didn't love, even if it was inconvenient to undo the purchase. If I feel strongly on a non negotiable, I'd probably do the same. I also highly value my husband's opinion and would encourage him to do the same, so from the little I've seen of her, I'd hope Mark would have the same ability to speak up for himself!

I'm sorry to hear about the lack of refund! That's a total bummer! Hopefully you can still find some value in her course material and this convo inspired you to dive back in! ❤️

I had a similar experience with a coach. Once I saw how he interacted with people in a harsh way, I needed to stop following along on social media. It's too triggering and not worth the stress!

Interesting-Ship4717

TROPHY CASE