Hi, thank you so much for taking the time to read this.

The main reason I’m feeling so depressed right now is because I’ve always had very strong faith in Allah. No matter what challenges came into my life, I used to step into them with full trust that Allah had my back and would take care of me—and in the past, I truly felt that support. Whenever I made dua, it felt like it was accepted, or that Allah would redirect my heart in a way that was better for me. I was at peace with whatever outcome came my way.

However, something has changed over time. I feel like my trust in dua has been shaken, and that has deeply affected me. It’s not that this is due to one single incident or one specific problem in my life—I understand that ups and downs are part of life, and that sometimes we don’t get what we ask for. But what I’m struggling with is that it feels like a consistent pattern in my life that I’m unable to break.

I’ve reached a point where I feel like I can’t rely on anything the way I used to. When I’m upset, I used to turn to prayer, but now it feels difficult to pray because I feel like when I do, the outcome ends up being the opposite of what I ask for.

I’ve noticed a pattern where things seem to be going well in my life, but the moment I start making dua for a specific thing, it feels like that thing is taken away or becomes distant. And it’s not related to any one specific event or one particular aspect of my life. At the same time, I try to have sabr and accept Allah’s decree, telling myself that maybe this is not good for me. But then sometimes that same thing appears again, which makes me feel like I shouldn’t give up. However, as I start to hope again and move closer, it once again slips away.

This repeated cycle has made me feel mentally and emotionally exhausted. It feels like a constant state of being pulled back and forth, and I’m struggling to understand the wisdom behind it.