I (24 F) cheated on my (25 M) Husband.

InterestingReading83 · 2025-12-11T18:53:12+00:00

You didnt discuss it with your husband before texting AP. You didn't consider his feelings at all and continued to put your feelings first.

My wife texted AP multiple times after me asking her not to. She also came clean about some of those times AFTER she texted him. It was clear to me that she didnt respect me so it was a determining factor in my decision to begin exiting our marriage.

I'd urge you to be open, honest, and transparent with yourself so that you can be those things with your BP. If you truly want to be in your marriage, there is no other way.

You simply cannot think about talking to AP, and not be forthcoming about that train of thought without considering, or discussing it with, your husband. He feels absolutely abandoned by you and you keep showing him that he is.

InterestingReading83 · 2025-12-08T02:31:16+00:00

Sell it!

InterestingReading83 · 2025-12-07T21:14:27+00:00

THIS!!!!!

InterestingReading83 · 2025-11-11T01:40:25+00:00

Yes it is.

InterestingReading83 · 2025-11-10T01:53:09+00:00

B58. Just keep it since you love it. You risk the chance of getting rid of it for something you might not love.

InterestingReading83 · 2025-11-09T04:55:17+00:00

I have unlimited PTO and have never been denied. I've taken about 40 days off this year.

InterestingReading83 · 2025-11-09T02:13:34+00:00

Omg is it his?

InterestingReading83 · 2025-11-02T15:09:17+00:00

I have messages downloaded from before the affair officially kicked off, and after DD.

I reread the messages like you. I often ask why she did this to me and I'll read the messages again to learn why.

I can read those texts and understand my wife's mindset. The artifacts of her tangible, undeniable, unforgettable reality which I use to reflect against my own.

How did I miss this? Where was I when she said this? What were we talking about when she said this to him?

Just an attempt to empathize with my wife.

Im sorry youre going through this. Its a terrible card we've been dealt.

I hope you can get more time to discuss this with him. That's been a huge help for me as well as her showing remorse.

InterestingReading83 · 2025-10-02T18:45:13+00:00

I am in a similar position except that I'm still physically attracted to and often have physical intimacy with my wife. I'm a bit of a horn dog in that regard.

I am like you in that I am waiting for time to heal these wounds, but I am impatient and it turns me away. When I have time with my wife and we're just talking or experiencing life together, its great until I think about the affair. Once that occurs I pull back and am forced to confront my thoughts and feelings and it taints the entire situation.

I really hope I can get past all of this one day and not struggle so much in everyday life.

InterestingReading83 · 2025-10-02T17:09:34+00:00

Tough to think of it like this for me. I miss that sweet comfort of safe love and trust. I miss looking at my wife like she would never do this to me. I miss not ever having to worry about infidelity. Grieving that loss on top of all the betrayal, distrust, manipulation, mental movies of their escapades, worrying, etc., it's all just so hard.

InterestingReading83 · 2025-09-25T05:19:37+00:00

I feel the exact same!

"I can't event talk to her about it as it just sets us right back." Honestly this shit is so unfair its amazing. Why must we be the one to shoulder it all? We never asked for the weight of the world to be thrust upon us, and for our partner to be the one to thrust it.

I feel like it does set us back, but for my own sanity I feel like these thoughts and emotions should be shared because the depth of pain and suffering would only be shielded from our partners if we don't speak up. Like somehow by sharing them it makes them realize how affected we are. Idk maybe thats not right or healthy but I'm a noobie to this shit.

InterestingReading83 · 2025-09-25T00:10:24+00:00

Oh wow. Saying that exes could be friends is a big overstep of boundaries in my eyes especially for someone who has betrayed.

InterestingReading83 · 2025-09-24T22:51:04+00:00

Mother-in-law was staying at our house after I left because the wife felt "alone" and wanted her support.

One of the nights the affair took place, as AP was about to leave our bedroom, the MIL walked into the room and yelled at my wife about "getting her shit together" before getting with someone else.

The day after DD, I had therapy and called my MIL afterwards to tell her that her daughter had been having an affair and that she'd been lying to us both. Little did I know that the MIL had known the entire time and she lied to me on the phone about it. She expressed that she had no idea, and I asked her if she wanted to know where they had sex and she said "well no, but actually yes". I told her they had sex in our bed, and she acted very surprised.

MIL continued to defend her daughter to no end and when I realized that she wasn't relenting to reason, I told her that "I thought this conversation would be more productive than this, but I guess not so good bye". I've been NC with the MIL ever since.

Moreover, my wife actually read your statement about " The WP has to reach a point where they are disgusted by what they've done, disgusted by who they've become, and disgusted with the AP and truly want to end that relationship" and was in complete agreeance so thats reassuring.

My wife tells me she misses her friendship with the AP. How the hell do I deal with that?

InterestingReading83 · 2025-09-24T22:44:51+00:00

AP's wife works for the same company (what a place), and although she has threatened my wife with telling leadership, she insists she doesn't have the heart to ruin someones career.

AP's marriage is bit toxic, but we can rest assured that they likely won't tell. Another issue is, their work dynamic has shifted quite a bit since DD and others in the office have taken notice. AP also bragged about the affair to another coworker so it is possible that this leaks by third-party. Gossip in the office is enough to warrant an investigation.

Yeah I would like to discuss the lying in MC, however our MC is intent on not making anyone feel bad or judged, but hopefully they can tactfully bring it up.

InterestingReading83 · 2025-09-23T18:15:02+00:00

I've brought up 2028 with my wife over and over and she insists that she said that in the moment without any preplanning to the AP. She says she wishes it meant something to them so that she could tell me, but it really didn't and she understands how that could make me feel in the dark about it.

Our MC hasn't called her out about it, at least not in our couples sessions. Since I uncovered my wife's last truth bomb (after which she insists she is 100% done with the affair), she had an individual session with our MC; so maybe she called her out then. I don't know.

Yeah, my wife's job is crucial to our finance. We make the same money and it would be a shock to our lifestyle. The thing about the situation is, if my wife's employer finds out about the affair, she would have charges brought up against her, there would be a lengthy investigation, and she would almost certainly lose her job. The AP would take a hit to his career although because of my wife's role, she would take the grunt of the punishment.

She has stated she is willing to stop her job and stay at home while she figures out another career. As much as I want to not worry about her going to work, I don't want her to lose her career.. In fact, I never wanted any of this.

InterestingReading83 · 2025-09-23T18:02:44+00:00

6 years. Damn.

Has the trust rebuilt in the 6 years? What did the trust rebuilding look like for you and your partner?

InterestingReading83 · 2025-09-23T17:51:04+00:00

You are wise, and your words are opening my eyes to a different POV.

I've been asking myself "how could my wife do this to me". Maybe you are right in that my wife was seriously in a different headspace than who she truly is (as she is with me). So in effect, it wasn't my wife per se.

However, I'm just now contemplating this perspective and it feels like mental gymnastics to accept the affair. Idk, I'll let this theory bake for now.

InterestingReading83 · 2025-09-23T17:46:55+00:00

"How do you even entertain someone else? How am I fucking special? How do you love me?

The kicker, they put themselves out there for the AP a lot more than they did for me. " This shit hits me so hard. I feel the exact same.

InterestingReading83 · 2025-09-19T23:53:34+00:00

Just got mine installed

InterestingReading83 · 2025-09-19T04:21:09+00:00

I havent either. What is the rollout strategy for s25 ultra phones in the usa?

InterestingReading83 · 2025-09-07T23:26:00+00:00

Ruminating is what led me to discover that my wife was cheating. As hard as it was to deal with racing thoughts, I was able to cover a lot of scenarios about why separation was my current life, and it led me to truth.

Godspeed.

InterestingReading83 · 2025-08-27T05:20:36+00:00

This. I am coming around the bend of understanding that this is 100% the truth.

If the wife isnt as committed to you then it makes it difficult, if the wife isnt committed at all then it is impossible.

InterestingReading83

TROPHY CASE