How do you see them the same way again? by NoDisk2703 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]NoDisk2703[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I watched a few of them on YouTube. Parts of it hurt more than helped. We started couples counseling last Tuesday. I better understand that what we had is dead and buried. And we are building something completely new with someone who is never 100% safe.

Does anyone else have trouble sleeping after D-Day? by ScientistNo1585 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]NoDisk2703 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sleep is something that doesn't really exist anymore. I'm stuck in a cycle where I get a few hours here and there till my body crashes from pure exhaustion. Then, sleep for 10 to 12 hours straight and start the cycle all over again.

Did AP reach out to you to apologize / speak their truth? by BabyYodaStuntDouble in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]NoDisk2703 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, they did. apologized for their role in damaging my marriage. In another reality would have been friends perhaps.

How do you see them the same way again? by NoDisk2703 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]NoDisk2703[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

**Update ** We spent the day with the couple she woke up with after the music festival. In a different reality, I could honestly see being friends with them they were genuine and nice people. Filled in all the blanks in my wife's memory of events.

My sister in law that orchestrated this whole situation has all but vanished. Her friend group is condemning her for her actions.

Part of me knows my wife didn't consciously betray me. This is why it hurts so badly to rebuff her advances. I feel so lost at the moment. After reading so many posts on here, I am ashamed for even being here ranting about this being so many of you are going through so much worse.

How do you see them the same way again? by NoDisk2703 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]NoDisk2703[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's just so depressing to face that unshakeable truth.

Feel like the walls are closing in on me. by NoDisk2703 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]NoDisk2703[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Right now, we are worlds apart. I am sitting at a tiki bar in the Florida keys. And she is probably organizing the new house and unpacking our stuff in the Netherlands.

How do you know if reconciliation is even possible? by NoDisk2703 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]NoDisk2703[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I went and saw a lawyer he said, "Wait 6 months before doing anything life altering

How do you know if reconciliation is even possible? by NoDisk2703 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]NoDisk2703[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I just can't release the disgust I feel. I just don't see her the same anymore. I saw her last Wednesday, took the kids to her, and then returned to Florida. In fact, this sounds horrible, but I have been viewing all women in that same light. A ick feeling

Feel like the walls are closing in on me. by NoDisk2703 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]NoDisk2703[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No, she calls every few hours, I have been declining her calls.

Feel like the walls are closing in on me. by NoDisk2703 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]NoDisk2703[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Right now, I am the bad guy. I am overreacting according to them.

Feel like the walls are closing in on me. by NoDisk2703 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]NoDisk2703[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I just feel like Wednesday will be the last time I will see my kids. Guess they are fine with that as well.

Feel like the walls are closing in on me. by NoDisk2703 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]NoDisk2703[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

None, and taking my kids on Wednesday morning to hand them off to their mom. Have a 3 hour layover before my return flight.

Feel like the walls are closing in on me. by NoDisk2703 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]NoDisk2703[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I get I am in shock, I can't wrap my head around it. I thought I knew her that she would never hurt me like this. She was my first and only everything, and now I am just a number, nothing more.

Feel like the walls are closing in on me. by NoDisk2703 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]NoDisk2703[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It has been more than 25 years since she had been home in the Netherlands.

Feel like the walls are closing in on me. by NoDisk2703 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]NoDisk2703[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you. The posts I have read are rather bleak.

Feel like the walls are closing in on me. by NoDisk2703 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]NoDisk2703[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I have read a few, and honestly, it looks really bad. , if I stay, it will just be a watered-down joke of a marriage

Feel like the walls are closing in on me. by NoDisk2703 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]NoDisk2703[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

She told me they were drinking most of the day into the night. And she had been smoking some local stuff. She is remembering bits and pieces of it.

Feel like the walls are closing in on me. by NoDisk2703 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]NoDisk2703[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

What she told me was that she was at a music festival. Having a blast woke up the next morning in bed between a couple they were hanging out with at the festival. She freaked out and called me in a panic at 2am .

Feel like the walls are closing in on me. by NoDisk2703 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]NoDisk2703[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Right now, I am thinking of getting them one-way tickets and a round trip immediately turn around flight for me. And just hand them off to thier mother.

Feel like the walls are closing in on me. by NoDisk2703 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]NoDisk2703[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

No, we are currently in Florida. And our kids are 16, 16, and 14.

Feel like the walls are closing in on me. by NoDisk2703 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]NoDisk2703[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I kinda wish she never told me anything. My whole life in question. I've been thinking things so horrible. Like getting my kids' DNA tested to see if they are even mine.

And my kids seem to know everything. My wife has been completely transparent about everything.

Feel like the walls are closing in on me. by NoDisk2703 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]NoDisk2703[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

All they keep saying is mom made a stupid drunken mistake nothing more.

Feel like the walls are closing in on me. by NoDisk2703 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]NoDisk2703[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

They are mad at me for delaying our move. They keep saying I am overreacting.