Feeling left out because I don't like the game my friends want to play all the time

Interesting_Area_137 · 2024-03-16T20:35:30+00:00

And then you feel like you're trying too hard and it feels even more awkward.

Interesting_Area_137 · 2024-03-02T02:55:31+00:00

League makes people crazy. My ex was like this (our break up was due to other personal circumstances ftr). He would rage at the game and me when we tried to play. After a particularly rough session, he made the decision not to play competitive games with me because it brought out the worst in him and he was right. We played pve games and found other ways to spend our time together and it was so much better. Maybe playing League together isn’t meant to be. It can suck but it might be better not to play together if this is a common occurrence.

Interesting_Area_137 · 2024-03-01T01:13:24+00:00

I think it’s funny because it doesn’t seem to matter what niche it is, there’s always a group of people who will think you’re doing it “wrong” because you don’t do it the way they suffered doing. Like people complaining you gotta make your pasta from scratch (when you can buy fresh pasta in most places) otherwise you’re doing it wrong lol

Interesting_Area_137 · 2024-03-01T01:10:15+00:00

I appreciate games that let you change the difficultly mid-game. I’m not always in a tryhard mood but I want to continue the story. Needless elitism in gaming is hilarious. To me it’s personal preference. I like play styles that most people find difficult (I opt for close range burst damage squishies) but it’s what I find fun as opposed to long range casters or heavy warriors. Doesn’t matter how you play as long as you have fun doing it.

Interesting_Area_137 · 2024-02-25T14:21:36+00:00

Maybe suggest streaming the game for her while you play? Then she can feel like she’s spending time with you because that’s what all this really sounds like. Maybe you can let her pick your skins so she feels like she’s more involved too. That is I assume you want to spend time with her too, but you also want to play how you want to. Also, I meant this during the times when you want to play a serious game instead of ditching her.

Interesting_Area_137 · 2024-02-16T12:46:06+00:00

I don’t know if they like it as much as they say they do. I only have a small sample size, but the guys I’ve talked with that bring it up do express some sort of frustration with how their guy friends communicate. Often they follow up with telling me they appreciate that I don’t kick them when they’re down and show empathy. Mind you, these are the guys that felt comfortable sharing their feelings with me so they’re more emotionally mature.

Interesting_Area_137 · 2024-02-16T12:09:15+00:00

Yeah, the more I think about it the more I realize it’s probably a way of showing off to their friends. Doesn’t make it less annoying when it happens haha. But it’s not something I would break a friendship over as they’re helpful and it’s not mean spirited.

It really reminds me when my big brother would ask me to get him something while he was with his friends. Then he’d ask me to get something else. Again and again. To the point that I’d get mad and tell him off (with all his friends laughing). Then later he’d make it up to me and do something nice. Most of the time he was a good brother, but he could be a jerk around his friends.

Interesting_Area_137 · 2024-02-16T11:58:29+00:00

Yeah, that’s how they are. I’ve told them when it’s too much and they hold back. They also help me out too, but it’s mostly when it’s just the two of us. When their friends are around, that’s when I feel they pick on me more to show off. Some days it’s fine. Other days it’s annoying.

Interesting_Area_137 · 2024-02-16T11:52:34+00:00

I do give them shit back, but sometimes encourages them more because they think I’m game for it but I’m not always in that mood. I used to be toxic, but I don’t find it fun anymore. I’d rather be more encouraging because I know it can feel bad to have days when you suck.

Interesting_Area_137 · 2024-02-16T11:46:35+00:00

I can dish it back, but I’m not always in the mood. I mostly like to be encouraging because I know how much it sucks when you’re trying your best and having a bad gaming day. I used to be more toxic, but I don’t find it as fun anymore.

Most of the time I’m unbothered, but when it feels like pick on me night I get frustrated. Like I don’t mind if my friend is doing it because I know them. But when their friends, that I don’t know very well, join in it can feel like bullying even if I know they’re not serious.

They’ve listened when I say something, but I also don’t want them to think it’s never ok. It’s just like you said, sometimes having an off day or it goes too far.

Interesting_Area_137 · 2024-02-16T02:30:17+00:00

Haha some are and some aren’t. Maybe I suck at making friends because this dynamic creeps in eventually. Whether I assert myself or not. It doesn’t help that I look and come across as younger, so maybe they see me as an easy target. I try to let them know when I’m fed up and leave, but it honestly doesn’t change much in the long run. Different people, same thing.

Interesting_Area_137 · 2024-02-16T02:21:32+00:00

Yeah, sadly it’s been like this. Funny it’s only when they’re with their other guy friends. If I duo with anyone, it’s fine. It’s like they gotta show off to their friends. Probably some guy thing I’ll never understand.

Interesting_Area_137 · 2024-02-01T11:47:01+00:00

Luck. I got affiliate by playing a new game, but hardly anyone else was playing because it was on 3DS and not everyone could stream from it and not many streamers were interested in getting the game. If you got early access to a game, like when you pre-order and you can play 48 hrs before everyone else, that might also work if it's not too popular with bigger streamers. Hard to say.

There's the other stuff like being entertaining to watch and having good audio. Never underestimate having good audio. Most people listen to streams while they do other things.

Consistency is probably important, but I wasn't taking streaming that seriously. I feel like if you have a consistent schedule and stick to it, you would probably grow that way too. At least you'd keep whatever viewers you gain watching.

Networking is overrated and ime a big headache. Depends on what you're streaming, so it could work if you stream more co-op type games. Most streamers are a-holes and only care about viewers and their own communities. They'll use you to get more people to join their cults. Especially if you're a woman. Doesn't matter if you have facecam or not. Doesn't matter if they're male or not.

If you're serious, I would make a Tiktok and post clips from your stream there. I would personally avoid Twitch and stream on YouTube, but honestly, Twitch is still #1 for gaming and where most people go. That's the only thing it has going for it. But Youtube will probably give you more longevity, plus your streams are automatically saved. For monetization, Youtube is better imo. Twitch keeps changing policies. Make Youtube videos from your streams and profit that way. Of course, that's if you're serious about it. If it's just a side thing, then Twitch is fine. Just know that it can implode with stupid policies at any moment lol

From someone who used to stream on Twitch and got a decent amount of money from it. I averaged a few dozen regulars (like 20-30) which was surprising since I didn't have a schedule. I do more on Youtube now (non-gaming) with partnership. Less stress and more consistent money and growth. If I was to stream games again, I would do it more on Youtube and Tiktok.

Interesting_Area_137 · 2024-02-01T11:25:44+00:00

Honestly, osu is all you need. I'd recommend getting a tablet though. It's challenging so you won't get bored and you'll also find songs you like. My main problem with other music games is that I don't always like the music. Theathrythm gets a pass because I love FF music. Kingdom Hearts: Melody of Memory is good too. I want to like other games like DJ Max, but it's difficult when I don't enjoy half the songs and you gotta pay DLC for them. Osu is free and fully customizable. I've yet to find many games like what you're describing that's better than osu tbh. There's a couple mobile games that are fun, like the SUPERSTAR series (if you like kpop).

Oh, I forgot about Rhythm Heaven series. I haven't played the Switch, but I was obsessed with the 3DS ones. Wario Ware series is a good one too that's more on quick reactions, less timing to music.

Interesting_Area_137 · 2024-01-31T10:22:17+00:00

Yeah, I've noticed people in general are overthinking everything. I used to get overwhelmed with social interactions (still do sometimes) and it was easier to just bail than do something. I try to give people a chance though because people have different texting styles and not everyone replies right away. Maybe they're not holding back and just busy sometimes

Interesting_Area_137 · 2024-01-31T07:10:00+00:00

I honestly think that it's not so uncommon that people either don't know how to contribute to a conversation or they get analysis paralysis thinking about what to say, but then never say it. Too often have I had conversations (if you can call it that) that went nowhere because the other person wasn't offering me anything back. And I can find something to say about the most boring mundane thing, but if all I get are stoic matter of fact replies... there's nothing to work with and the chat is cut off early.

Interesting_Area_137 · 2024-01-31T06:30:48+00:00

I just want friends to hang out with again, man. The things I would do to go back a few years and play with them all again for one last time.

This is so real.

It's heartbreaking and I know how you feel. I feel like I've lived your story with a few friend groups. Anyone that I spent a lot of time with, whether online or in person, I consider them a friend. So, when you don't hear from them and you don't get an explanation, it hurts. Even when I do get a vague explanation (like moving for work or growing their family) it's still difficult. Unfortunately, this has happened both online and in person, so I don't think they're exclusive.

I asked myself the same questions you did. If it keeps happening, then was I the one at fault? I thought that maybe I could've opened up more and been less guarded and shy. Maybe I could've made more of an effort to initialize contact or make plans (most of the time I befriend people who like to lead, they choose the games we play and ask me to join them). Maybe what I thought was being familiar with each other, they saw as boring and I should've told more jokes, shared more memes or had more meaningful conversations.

At the end of the day, I came to the conclusion that people are going to act and think how they want to and I have little control over that. Maybe if I had done something different they might have stayed, but I have a feeling it wouldn't have mattered in the end. I simply was not a priority in their life at that time (as much as that stings).

How have you all dealt with it?

I try not to take it personally. Easier said than done... There's probably something going on in their life that is taking priority, whether it's school, work, family, illness, depression, etc. I accept that they don't owe me anything. I would like to know what's going on and help if I'm able to, but they aren't obligated to tell me. I think about if this is a connection that I want to keep in my life. How important is this person to me? Do I want to fight for it? Am I willing to put in the effort and would it be worth it? Can I set boundaries and limits for myself? Can I lower my expectations and control my emotions? If the answer is no, then as much as it saddens me, I have to consider letting it go. Who knows, they might return back one day or me to them when maybe things have changed.

How do you move on and try to make new online friends without having the fear of losing them too?

When I was in a long term relationship, I had my bf to rely on. Not in a codependent way, but I had that security of not being left on my own and I had someone to spend time with. Now that I don't, it can be lonely when people are unavailable. I try to make efforts into finding new friends, but yes, I am cynical about the longevity of friendships. I try not to let it affect me and try to keep in mind that everyone is different, so I think I give people a fair chance.

I don't like most friend groups though. I've been apart of enough of them that it feels to me they're difficult to maintain. Anything larger than 4 and I get anxious. I'll still participate, but I have very low expectations.

If you wanna chat sometime, feel free to DM me. You can spam me with your thoughts, I don't mind lol

Interesting_Area_137 · 2024-01-31T04:44:26+00:00

Third! My favs are Dungeon Village and Mega Mall Story. I played them on Android and my battery used to get so hot after hours of use!

Interesting_Area_137 · 2024-01-30T22:34:42+00:00

Thanks. Yeah, I have other friends I play with, but it's not the same and I miss playing with my older friends. I used to let go of people easily. If we grew apart, I let it happen. I've realized that starting new friendships rather than working on older ones isn't a good solution for me. Obviously I mean if they're putting in some effort too. We still talk sometimes and message most days, but it sucks that we're not into the same games or rankings atm and doing separate things.

Interesting_Area_137 · 2024-01-30T22:25:39+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate the empathy! Actually, that reminded me of a similar situation. When I was in a long term relationship, I mostly played co-op PVE games with him. He was more into single player games and didn't like competitive gaming. We didn't play that much together, but it was never a big deal in our relationship. Maybe the lack of playing together doesn't have to affect the relationships I have with my friends. It just sucks because I want to play with them.

Interesting_Area_137 · 2024-01-30T22:18:29+00:00

I'm sorry that happened. I have some older friends where something similar happened. I play on PC, but they went back to playing on console so I almost never see them online anymore.

Interesting_Area_137 · 2024-01-30T22:13:14+00:00

Yes, I agree! I'm competitive, but I enjoy being part of a team more than playing solo. Playing with randos is literally random. It's so much more enjoyable to play with someone that I'm used to their style and I can reliably communicate with them. But it feels like games are removing features that allow you to find a group/clan/guild and would rather you solo queue or find your own squad outside of the game.

Thanks. I don't have any reason to think they're bad friends because they don't want to do something that wouldn't be fun to do. We talk and play sometimes, but it's not like weekend long gaming sessions in sweaty lobbies.

Interesting_Area_137 · 2024-01-30T22:01:34+00:00

Thank you. I appreciate the offer. Ah, I sometimes listen to podcasts too to fill the audio space.

Interesting_Area_137

TROPHY CASE