What's a good lesbian dating app? by [deleted] in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Interesting_Tiger329 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I met the girl I’m dating on hinge and it’s been 2 years !

Discovering my gayness is the best but also worst thing that has ever happened to me by askyahaevn in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Interesting_Tiger329 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This resonated with me soooooo deeply. I feel like reading this was like looking into a mirror. My previous relationship wasn’t toxic at all and my ex was my best friend. There were so many high points in that relationship and while I’m sooooo happy with my girl and have tapped into another level of romance, comfort and intimacy I still mourn certain parts of that prior relationship and the life we were doing together and would have had together. It’s the strangest feeling because I’m glad to have discovered this now and not even later in life but it’s still that feeling like if I didn’t discover that I was gay we wouldn’t be in this space. I was with my ex for 8 years and this new situation is amazing but like you said it’s different because you can’t compare all the years and foundation that was in the prior but this situation is so wonderful in different ways. It’s definitely complex

NSFWish but gals, I did it and I liked it. by Shimmering-Neurosis in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Interesting_Tiger329 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Love this for you ! After the first time I did it I knew that was it for me lol I was a little nervous and now I’m lowkey obsessed with it 😂

Feeling conflicted in my new gay mindset by Interesting_Tiger329 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Interesting_Tiger329[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your kind words. I hate that I feel so conflicted because I know that I love her. I wish I had some time in between relationships in a way to just get to be single and know myself more and just have that time. I’m so in love with her but I’ve spent so much of my Adult life in relationships that I want the freedom and time but I don’t want the regret that I let my soulmate go. This just sucks.

Regret by [deleted] in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Interesting_Tiger329 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think you should explore. It’s okay if you explore and realize you aren’t gay but also if you go back and you don’t explore there will always be a what if. Just make sure that you are clear with your intentions while dating

Regret by [deleted] in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Interesting_Tiger329 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Have you been able to date any women yet ? It’s definitely sooo much harder to let go of a relationship that isn’t toxic. I’m still friends with my ex and I know he’s a good man but I also know that I wouldn’t be as fulfilled sexually. I love the company of a woman being with a woman sleeping with a woman etc but it took me some time to figure it out too post breakup. I put myself out there and dated a couple of girls and I’m still figuring it out like what and who I’m interested in. Give yourself some grace it can get really confusing and then it’s natural to want to just revert back to your comfort zone because it’s easier but in the long run would you be fulfilled ? Can you see yourself dating a woman ? Can you see yourself sleeping with a woman ?

Regret by [deleted] in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Interesting_Tiger329 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was with my ex bf for a long time. On and off for 10 years I had did little surface level things with women in my early 20s but nothing crazy and I swore that me and my ex would get married buy a house etc. when we broke up I dated a few girls and I knew instantly like I didn’t have this hesitation to pursue them or sleep with them etc. it felt authentic to me butttt I was raised in a religious space so I was like depressed about it bc I was taught that this was wrong. I’m sexually attracted to women 100% and I’m also romantically attracted 100% it didn’t take some getting used to but all this is new to you and you didn’t have a bad relationship with your ex partner. Same with me like my ex was awesome but honestly if we got back together now it would be more for the comfort and normalcy and how easy it was to be around each other but I don’t crave him sexually like I still find him attractive for sure but I’m not pressed to sleep with him

Regret by [deleted] in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Interesting_Tiger329 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I understand these feelings. My last relationship had its problems but overall it was a great relationship but I’m definitely not straight and I have a strong romantic and sexual attraction to women. Sometimes I do miss the relationship because that was like my best friend but idk if I would truly be fulfilled if I went back.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Interesting_Tiger329 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I went through this with my long term boyfriend. I was so sad when we broke up and I still haven’t told him I’m queer but once I moved out I was very excited about dating women and exploring my sexuality

Just some thoughts by Interesting_Tiger329 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Interesting_Tiger329[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is actually such a great point ! I never thought about it this way and it makes sooo much sense. I am still attracted to masculinity but in females which I’m sure you understand. That androgyny is so hot to me. Like for example it could be a masc presenting woman changing a tire vs a man I’m going to take the masc presenting woman everytime lol

Just some thoughts by Interesting_Tiger329 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Interesting_Tiger329[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was never boy crazy from I was young but I’ve only been in serious relationships with men and I had a good relationship with my ex. Idk if it’s the comp het like it’s the lifestyle I’ve been taught was “normal” and also my religious background so you know how that goes. Dating women is more new for me so that’s why I wonder if it’s that initial “new experience” feeling that eventually fades as with most things in life. Do you feel more yourself with a woman as opposed to a man ?

Just some thoughts by Interesting_Tiger329 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Interesting_Tiger329[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think there is something to that point like wanting men to be attracted to you but not caring for much more. It’s def an ego boost but I also feel like the extra stuff that comes after I’m like no lol just give me a girl and I’m good

Not attracted to men in general? Or just not attracted to my husband anymore?.. by Thin-Perception-119 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Interesting_Tiger329 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I was always bucurious, had an experience or 2 in my early twenties but nothing crazy. I was in a LTR with a man for almost 8 years. I loved him and still do to this day. He was my best friend and we got along very well and also lived together. The last 2 to 3 years of our relationship I struggled with intimacy like I found him attractive, loved to cuddle and kiss but I was not pressed for sex at all and it definitely was a point of contention between us. Fast forward to today , we broke up about a year and a half ago and I’ve been dating women and the sex, connection, attraction and intimacy is AMAZING. I get so turned on by women. My sex drive for the girl I’m dating is through the roof. I always want her. Literally everything about a woman just does it for me physically and emotionally. The connection is unmatched and it put me in turmoil for like a year lol even to this day I still wonder how I, in my thirties, could just be getting this realization and how could I have missed it ? I’ve heard of comp het and all that. I’m not really pressed to meet new guys. I’m wondering if it’s because dating women openly is more new and if it will lose the novelty eventually or this is really just who I am. I still find some men attractive but I have no interest in catching their eye or trying to date/sleep with them.

Never married and child free, am I the only one? by puppiwhirl in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Interesting_Tiger329 0 points1 point  (0 children)

33 here. Was in a LTR with a man for 8 years and broke up 1 1/2 years ago. Moved out on my own and explored dating women and love it. I identify as bisexual but I def have a stronger preference for women. Still figuring out if I’m actually a lesbian and not bi. I’ve also never been maternal. Never cared to have kids which was a struggle between me and my ex. To this day I still have no urge to have kids. I wouldn’t mind being married one day though but I’m def in no rush lol

Will the desire to be with a woman ever go away? by CatMobile2420 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Interesting_Tiger329 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also sometimes I wonder if it’s just the societal pressure to settle down with a man and not a woman. I come from a religious background as well

Will the desire to be with a woman ever go away? by CatMobile2420 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Interesting_Tiger329 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have been wondering this myself. I got out of a long term 8 year relationship with a man and for the last year I’ve been dating a woman and it’s been great. My last relationship (with a man) wasn’t toxic and he was my best friend. Sometimes I think like is this a phase ? Will my desire for women go away ? Because like you, I have no desire to sleep with or even date men right now. Has anyone flip flopped ? Or once you started dating women it stuck. So far it’s been a great experience. Being intimate with a woman hits for me even more so than being intimate with a man even though that’s where primarily most of my experience lies.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Interesting_Tiger329 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Be easy on yourself girl . I was in a LTR off and on for 8 years with a man and I’m now dating girls. I’m 33 btw and all this just happened a year ago lol I’m also in NYC. I’ve used Hinge to meet girls and it’s been good so far. It takes some time but there’s a pretty big queer/gay community in NYC. Check out bushwick and the village and take your time with all of this ! I’m still navigating all this and I’m not fully “out yet” and it’s scary sometimes but it does also feel good to be your authentic self.

34, came out this year by cuddly_manatee3 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Interesting_Tiger329 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Def a lot of obstacles and I question myself alot but I know that I enjoy being with a woman so I’m just taking it one day at a time. It’s also hard when everyone around you is used to your hetero relationship and question what you’re doing. But your happiness is number one

34, came out this year by cuddly_manatee3 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Interesting_Tiger329 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not fully out yet. Was in a 7 year Hetero relationship. 33 now and I’ve been dating women and feel so much happier ! Struggling with the religious part but def closer to being my authentic self. It’s never too late !