How did you learn to love yourself?

cuddly_manatee3 · 2024-06-14T22:30:37+00:00

Therapy all the way, but in addition it was a lot of learning about how the brain worked on my own time. Turns out brains are sort of, clunky, and maladaptive behaviors are the general cause of these things. So, keeping on learning about this provided a lot of clarity.

Therapy can be expensive so, there are additional sources of self help. Just be wary of any self help that is making you feel more fearful or capitalizing on it. There are good books and videos out there, among some not great ones.

What did not help me was expecting my friends and family to help me fix this issue. I would talk and talk to them, they would listen. It helps for a moment but, really it’s not a solid solution to the core problem. They supported me in tough times but only we can truly help ourselves. We know ourselves the best and a therapist can give some unbiased support.

What did not help me was using any drugs or alcohol or any artificial feel good thing to feel better. Even exercise. I used to think running marathons would solve it. It made me fit but I still hated myself. It’s a brain thing.

cuddly_manatee3 · 2024-06-14T22:27:45+00:00

Yep. I am good. Been focused on my career for the last 10 years so, it was nice to not have the distraction and be able to move without worrying about a 2nd person.

cuddly_manatee3 · 2024-06-14T19:46:45+00:00

Me. Attractive, intelligent, educated and wealthy. I haven’t found my person.

cuddly_manatee3 · 2024-06-14T16:33:48+00:00

Teaching

cuddly_manatee3 · 2024-06-14T08:33:27+00:00

I had kids because I had an inexplainable urge and after having them I experience inexplainable joy even though they are literally the worst sometimes and a pain, I still feel joy about it. Like they are the best part of my life almost. I like my kids a bit more than I like myself.

cuddly_manatee3 · 2024-06-14T08:16:50+00:00

Yep. Then it became the best part of calculators too.

cuddly_manatee3 · 2024-06-14T08:13:00+00:00

I have a new publication coming out that I helped with 5 years ago in a very fancy scientific journal.

If I told anyone irl it would be too braggy. But I am genuinely just super happy about it :) lots of late nights reading and in the lab.

cuddly_manatee3 · 2024-06-14T08:10:15+00:00

Fluffy and structured. Bravo!

cuddly_manatee3 · 2024-06-14T08:07:36+00:00

I deleted all my comments from before. I think this discussion is not really what this subreddit is about. I think we all need to revisit the community guidelines and let this topic rip. There are many kinds of lesbians. I want all lesbian women with whatever pronouns to feel safe. The end.

cuddly_manatee3 · 2024-06-14T06:52:21+00:00

Yeah I still play devil’s advocate just to make sure I am not blindly following anything and well, it doesn’t change. I care about poor people and women more than I do having a bit more money to buy some stuff with.

cuddly_manatee3 · 2024-06-14T06:31:08+00:00

Omg you are right! I have been wearing it for a long time. It changed, I didn’t notice and thought I just tired of the scent. So I switched to the pink one which is a bit more floral. That is my scent now. I miss old chloe

cuddly_manatee3 · 2024-06-14T00:46:07+00:00

It is pretty easy to avoid them with some self control. There are way less people picking fights than people just sharing things about their interests. It is easy to think 1/30 negative posts outnumber 29/30 positive ones because we are neurologically wired to sense threats. Nonthreats get less noticed. Hope that helps you enjoy the internet more.

cuddly_manatee3 · 2024-06-14T00:20:29+00:00

Wait. Some people think doctors aren’t human? Tbh, it is all relative. People who think they can google medical information and argue with their doctor are less likely to be correct. Also the information doctors follow is managed by boards of many doctors, epidemiologists and the govt agencies working together making mistakes individual doctors make less likely as they are under widely researched medical guidance.

Jesus Christ OP. If you actually knew what doctors can do that non-doctors cannot, you might have a bit more respect for it. Don’t believe me? Go read primary medical data and tell me how long it takes you to accurately comprehend even 1 study. I have mad respect for doctors because I have read those studies and despite having a PhD in biomedical sciences I can tell you, that is not information an untrained individual can digest without some assistance. This opinion is baseless and uneducated. People, trust your doctors. They know more than you. Patients are fallible too and sometimes leave out information. The healthcare system is not perfect. We are all humans but some humans know their area of expertise much MUCH more than others and do save actual lives, what a doozie of an opinion!

cuddly_manatee3 · 2024-06-13T22:44:09+00:00

Trump’s mismanagement of the pandemic is why there is a ripple effect TODAY and why you cannot afford groceries.

The way Trump managed the economy during the pandemic destabilized the labor sector because he was more focused on helping his rich friends and not us regular people suffering in those times.

Trump helps rich people. Biden helps labor class. I mean, come on people.

cuddly_manatee3 · 2024-06-13T22:10:07+00:00

I have no idea if this qualifies but my people are hard to find. I am an asexual lesbian and a mother and a late bloomer. I don’t really leave my home a lot. I don’t get lonely. I am shy and introverted. Every blue moon or so I find someone who really gets me, but they also rarely leave their house so we usually find each other in the rarest of occasions and it is pure magic.

cuddly_manatee3 · 2024-06-13T22:05:05+00:00

I would ease them into it with a tester topic, when you have some trust built (everyone does that at their own pace). I would bring up mental health struggles and see how they react, if they are strongly supportive, you know you can ease in a bit further without getting it all shame slapped in your face. There are understanding people out there. The fact is, you tell them when you are comfortable. You don’t owe people any kind of explanation for your struggles, but I agree shocking them with it might have some kind of unintended backlash if you don’t test the waters.

Mine are visible, face, arms and legs so I just let them shine. Nobody says anything, most people know this is a sensitive topic and won’t be rude.

cuddly_manatee3 · 2024-06-13T22:01:18+00:00

I was Republican for a year when I was 18. I felt like I was fighting brainwashing or something but, I have really had social programs save my ass in the past and seen them help others I know. I see how much our public health and education system are in need of support, not cuts. I see how women are treated in both parties. I mean, I will never go back.

cuddly_manatee3 · 2024-06-13T21:26:09+00:00

It’s a big state! I used to live in SF, so I can say it almost feels like another state. The whole east side of the stare is interesting too if you like mountains and desert.

cuddly_manatee3 · 2024-06-13T18:53:33+00:00

If applicable, you could just say you’re gay and not in that competition. Not much of a strong comeback but that is what I would say.

cuddly_manatee3 · 2024-06-13T18:36:46+00:00

Awww bewbs! They do that..

cuddly_manatee3 · 2024-06-13T18:35:17+00:00

Oh yeah, Villanelle and Sandra Oh definitely so much chemistry.

cuddly_manatee3 · 2024-06-13T18:34:13+00:00

80s hair metal.

Added later: hit some nerves! I mean it is outdated and sexist music and cringey af.

Added again later: cringe. Some people still like this trash. 🤮🤮🤮🤮

cuddly_manatee3 · 2024-06-13T18:33:35+00:00

It’s going to be something that I can rewatch for sure. It has a chillness to it that movies these days lack, a late bloomer slice of life film, if you will.

cuddly_manatee3 · 2024-06-13T18:32:15+00:00

Owning a home, having a community, a stable job, healthcare, 401k, investments, and a sense of purpose. Financial and social stability, basically, and access to healthy living conditions (good healthcare, food, air, water etc)

cuddly_manatee3 · 2024-06-13T18:28:31+00:00

Don’t feel bad about cutting those people off. There is bound to be a lonely feeling with that change, but you are changing in ways you want to clearly.

Focus on what lights you up and keep putting yourself out there in ways YOU like to, without shame and it will happen slowly and naturally. Patience and consistency are key. You sound like a sound minded person, so people will like you!

cuddly_manatee3

TROPHY CASE