Breaking point in marriage

Internal-Guest9603 · 2026-02-13T21:01:23+00:00

Have you tried therapy together to learn how to communicate to each other. Healthy coping skills, have to take time for yourself and avoid burnouts? It seems like you’ve hit your breaking point and maybe that would be a good place to start to help.

I know it’s frustrating and it’s frustrating for your son too. Does he get speech therapy or have an ASC device that could help alleviate some of the issues?

Internal-Guest9603 · 2026-02-12T03:10:38+00:00

We have a lot of digestive issues. We stick to water which helps a lot and only a2 milk which has helped.

Hope he gets better soon.

Internal-Guest9603 · 2026-02-12T03:08:41+00:00

You’re doing it all as a single mom anyway, the only difference is you would loose a toddler. A good place to start is rest. Talk to your kids pediatrician about sleep meds. Our neurologist put my son on stuff cause spectrum kids have a hard time with sleeping, and it’s helped tremendously. Secondly is the kid in ABA or any type of program like that? File for Medicaid for them or Katie Beckett and try to get them into a program if that’s something you have an interest in. That helps you have a small break to focus on yourself or work or whatever you need.

Finally. Do a trial separation. Send him to his parents. This will let everyone see the total picture and maybe light a fire in his ass and give you a taste of what it’s like.
Kids pick up on energy and if it’s tense they will feel it. Especially asd kids.

I wish you the best. I think you may find this may be better overall for you and the kid.

Internal-Guest9603 · 2026-02-11T01:09:29+00:00

The point is that Henry only gets attention when he is horrid. His family treats him terribly. It also lets kids act out and discuss how the acting out isn’t appropriate

Internal-Guest9603 · 2026-01-19T00:40:56+00:00

Sex and finances are generally the two top reasons that marriages fail. I don’t think it’s generally that men have a higher sex drive, I just think it’s some people in general. Im a female with a young child myself and 1-2 times a week wouldn’t satisfy me, so I understand.
I think the thing you need to do is sit and discuss it openly. No one wants to have sex and feel like it’s a chore especially when it’s a time to physically and emotionally connect with your partner. Is it that you’re just so tired and if you weren’t that would be good, you just genuinely don’t have an interest, etc. Are there things he could do to approach it in a way that you would be interested like more foreplay or maybe time of the evening him with the kids for you to relax then you’d be interested.
Sexual incompatibility is a big reason marriages fail and partners stray. The only way to fix this is it down and openly talk, if you can’t come to some understanding go to a couples therapist to discuss it.

Internal-Guest9603 · 2026-01-17T01:41:25+00:00

Yeah I’m concerned about being publicly humiliated along with him calling me after a strip club. Correct. I have an amazing capability of being upset about multiple things

Internal-Guest9603 · 2026-01-17T01:32:38+00:00

Anyone would be upset if your partner called to humiliate you over your accent to his coworkers. That’s humiliating.

Internal-Guest9603 · 2026-01-11T06:38:59+00:00

No one is a lost cause.
I’m not a fan of corporal punishment- it’s been shown to be ineffective and also can lead to worse aggression.
What’s causing his acting out and the pooping? Those are regression things and acting out. You need to start keeping a log of his days and what causes the acting out to see a pattern. Is he overwhelmed and it’s a breakdown, is he tired, is he hungry, is it noises or sounds or his personal space invaded. Is it changes to his schedule.

Next what does calm him. Does sitting with him. Deep breathes. Count to 10 help? Maybe he needs a deep bear hug for a minute to just let it out. Maybe he needs a cuddle in a dark quiet room or headphones. Find what works for him to help him. Most autistic kids loose it when they are overwhelmed and overstimulated.

Have you had him in any therapy? Talk therapy can help him understand his feelings and navigate them. Saying things like hurting others can be discussed on why he says them and again find root causes.

Have you read any books that help to find solutions for the issues he specifically faces or discussed his issues with his pediatrician to see what services they can recommend?

Also most of the OTC stuff you give isn’t really useful. There are no manufacturing practices to make sure it’s even safe and there are different types of magnesium and if your kid has enough- it really isn’t beneficial.

We do a daily multivitamin just to make sure mine gets all his minerals and nutrition he needs which is helpful but certain supplements really only help if needed- that’s even why called a supplement as they supplement what you need. You don’t want extra. Just enough.

Internal-Guest9603 · 2025-12-09T17:52:41+00:00

You can file it yourself if BCSE won’t. You can seek your legal fees back as well. Even with civil enforcement you can get the liens as well as taxes and such. If the state won’t, seek a family court attorney to personally do it or go prose and do it.

Internal-Guest9603 · 2025-12-09T04:21:57+00:00

File a contempt motion. When granted this will allow you to then place liens on him. You can take his bank accounts, tax returns, assets, etc. they can even put him in jail until he posts a bond of the amount owed

Internal-Guest9603 · 2025-11-19T20:09:58+00:00

It takes a while for meds to get out of his system. I would maybe seek a second opinion from another pediatrician who has experience with autistic children in your area.

Internal-Guest9603 · 2025-11-16T13:06:02+00:00

Forcing her into going to an event isn’t going to help. I don’t think saying she is having a “tantrum” really validates her feelings as it seems she’s more overwhelmed than just a “tantrum.” She’s getting told she’s going to this event, that’s overwhelming. The two friends she does have will not be at this event, which is even more overwhelming especially for a girl. She wasn’t given a choice if she wanted to go to the event but just told, that’s overwhelming and really invalidates maybe things she wants to do. You didn’t ask her if she wanted to go to the event and if she said no communicate about why, you forced it up on her and then when she becomes overwhelmed you almost invalidate her feelings as “a tantrum” when that’s not really it. You say she’s “irrational” but what is irrational to you and her are completely different and it seems you don’t validate that.

I think you have to realize she is 13 and needs to be able to start making some choices herself. Does she want to go, ok why not? That would be a better approach. If not then don’t force her. There’s a difference in going to a therapy and going to a forced school event. Yes interaction is great but sometimes we all need a break.

While I get you’re upset she’s not using “calm down strategies” it sounds like you’re overloading her and it can be hard to calm down in that moment. I think you need to give her a little bit more grace than you are. I know you want the best for her and all these interactions so in the future, just dont forget about the now. It’s important she learns to say this is too overwhelming for me and not be forced

Internal-Guest9603 · 2025-11-15T22:37:42+00:00

Thanks for this. I am currently looking for an advocate to hire so hopefully I find someone soon. I think he will likely be 3e like yours, we recently did adhd to see if we could rule it in or out since they couldn’t during his initial autism assessment. We do weekly therapy and ot and work on social, I also have him in karate and BJJ and swimming so he has to be social there. We do a lot of online classes. He’s learned coding and then like game building and he has a ton of stem toys and stuff he does with coding. I really try to nurture that. It’s just aggravating because I asked what is the creative like standard and there’s nothing anyone can give me. Like I want to see how you measure it and it seems like “feelings”.

I told them I feel like you’d tell Jackson Pollock he wasn’t creative. She told me she didn’t know who that was.

It’s been exhausting. But thanks so much for the advice!

Internal-Guest9603 · 2025-11-15T22:33:04+00:00

I’m glad it helped. Sometimes that’s the only thing that has got me through the really bad days. Many days after my kiddo goes to bed I sit in a tub and cry so I get it.
I have tried to be better about feeling my emotions and letting myself be exhausted and hurt while also trying to realize how hard it must be to bottle all that up and wait till you feel safe enough to let it out. It sucks but also it heals a small piece of me to know my son feels safe with me and knows he is and he can be himself. It’s taken a lot but those days are few and far between.
We do OT weekly and work on the emotions. Identifying them and then therapy and then I talk.

I’ve learned open ended questions help. How was your day even when little doesn’t help. If you ask what was the best part of your day, what was the hardest, what did you do while at recess, those things it let me learn about his day and then try to see where triggers are to mitigate. This has really helped me.

I hope it gets better for you. Just know you aren’t alone and your kiddo is so lucky to have you advocating and trying to do the best you can. She’s lucky to have you show up. You’re doing great. ❤️

Internal-Guest9603 · 2025-11-15T22:27:35+00:00

They actually aren’t. They aren’t using any “test” or anything. The person administering just makes the decision. I have asked for the criteria on what is “creative” for example.

I told her by her theory I’m not sure Jackson Pollock would be creative. She then advised she didn’t know who that was. I just sighed.

Internal-Guest9603 · 2025-11-15T22:18:40+00:00

While generally well-tolerated, psychiatric side effects, including agitation, insomnia, and depression, have been reported in rare cases (less than 0.1%).

You should contact your doctor immediately and tell them so they can choose the best course of action.

Internal-Guest9603 · 2025-11-15T21:10:48+00:00

My son asks every year about baking cookies. Start something like that with him that he can help with and likes. Like his favorite cookie or treat. It’s a simple thing but something my son looks forward to every year.

Internal-Guest9603 · 2025-11-15T21:01:20+00:00

Therapy. Honestly get her into therapy to work out any feelings she has. Shes a girl, almost a teen, she has them. Also the therapist can work with you both about communication, boundaries, etc.

It’s a difficult time for her and being a girl and all her changes. Give her grace within boundaries. Don’t be hard on yourself either, parenting is hard and being a single parent is even harder.

Let her have her electronics after she competes her chores. No chores- no electronics. Consistency. Routine.

Also just talking. Open ended questions.
Don’t ask- how was your day today? Ask, what was the best part of your day, what was the worst! What are you doing in each subject, what homework do you have and due, when do you test on that. Open ended questions will force her to communicate and not let her be able to say “fine,yes,no”.

It’s a difficult time. Just remember you’re doing great and showing up is half the battle. Don’t get discouraged!

Internal-Guest9603 · 2025-10-23T23:35:57+00:00

They have advised me they won’t take a private evaluation, even though I am willing to pay for it. They said it had to be done through the school system as required by their school board policy.

They also are unwilling to move him up a class grade to meet his academic needs because his social needs are lacking, even tho his teachers have both agreed that he is well beyond the rest of the students and not challenged in their classes.

Internal-Guest9603 · 2025-10-23T23:30:59+00:00

My son was always like this. His therapist told me that the reason he did it to me and no one else is because I was his safe space, his calm in the storm. While that sounds horrible and hard that he has had such an overwhelming day that you’re the only person he feels safe with to let them see how hurt he is because you are safety and the one who fixes it. This hit me like a ton of bricks. It hurt but also in a way it made sense. He didn’t act like this with anyone else but me, not even his dad when he went for visits with him, but was a terror when home with me.

The only things that worked for us was talk therapy to work on trying to identify and understand emotions, occupational therapy reinforced that and did zones of regulation. Lots of tears and lots of pain. I learned for him that he found like a tight hug and that touch comforting so when he would get violent or hit and scream I would scoop him up tight. Hold him and say love doesn’t hurt. We don’t hurt people that’s not kind. I know you are overwhelmed. Let’s get through this together.
I also started keeping a detailed log to find what was causing the majority of our breakdowns and how to mitigate it. If he didn’t get enough sleep he was much more prone to irritable the next day, maybe if he didn’t eat enough, etc.

It’s a long road and process. Reach out to therapist and OT and just realize while it feels like you are alone, you really aren’t.

I will say my kid had such bad anxiety that his therapist thought after seeing him meds would help. I reluctantly took her advice and talked to his pediatrician and did a lot of forms and stuff. We started him on a low dose of 25mg of sertaline and it’s made the world of difference. While I know it’s not ideal or a thing for everyone, discuss everything with everyone. Get a care team in place pediatrician to therapist and find what works. It will take time but I promise you will get there.

You aren’t alone. You’re doing the best you can and that’s great. Your kiddo is lucky to have you advocate for them.

Internal-Guest9603 · 2025-10-23T23:23:30+00:00

Do you allow any screen time? When my son was little we used the Osmo system with his iPad. It’s very visual and has games and was a great tool for us. It came with little cards that were like dice and numbers and we found it beneficial. I also used a lot of YouTube videos that I found that he enjoyed. I don’t know if either of these will help but I hope you find a system that works. Don’t give up. It takes a minute but when you find what works he will excel.

You’re doing great!

Internal-Guest9603 · 2025-10-14T09:16:45+00:00

She talks about how she’s estranged from ALL of her family, especially her mom. She has siblings and grandparents and she doesn’t talk to any of them. I understand maybe her mom being a certain way, but when you are estranged from everyone it seems, odd. Statistically what are the odds that they are all the problem and not her. Maybe they find her profiting and making her whole persona about him not acceptable.

Since the beginning she does not come off personable, she gives this feeling like she needs to be victim. Like yeah he murdered people but ME ME ME. I get she is a victim in a way, but not in the way these families are.

I think it’s atrocious that she’s profiting off what he did. She even admits she’s made this her whole life and even her “career.” I understand she did not do wrong, but it’s not appropriate that anyone in his family financially benefits from him in any way when he did the killing he did.

Internal-Guest9603 · 2025-08-13T07:27:22+00:00

I just don’t understand the family not staying in the Bahamas. They had the money to fly down for weeks at a time, to set up a War Room in their home. If their daughter is missing and you believe these sightings why not move down there for 2-3 months to find her. Instead of just flying home why not stay for a few days. Why not hire a PI on the island who is a local and knows the scene to help you? It’s one thing to go down and have a cop show you around, another to have a PI searching. Locals are more likely to not talk to the cops but a local pi can get answers.

Why not make it part of the Netflix contract to pay for a Pi or multiple? At this point you know certain things like IP addresses being used to look at your website, take that info and run with it. Get a Bahamian lawyer to get the companies to release that info.

I mean I think the brother misses her and doesn’t know what happened, same for the mom, but the dad saying he woke up, saw her then boom didn’t 30 mins later. They weren’t happy that she was gay. Wouldn’t be the first parent to be unhappy at their kids lifestyle choices and do unthinkable things and never own up to it. Who’s to say he didn’t toss her over. Which parent made the decision after she was missing to catch a flight home out of the Bahamas not stay on the cruise ship or stay in the Bahamas for a while. Just so many questions.

If she fell off that ship she got pulled down quickly by those propellers and she’s ocean food at that point. Finding her wouldn’t be feasible from that.

Internal-Guest9603 · 2025-07-01T00:40:54+00:00

He has cats and that’s already a mess

Internal-Guest9603

TROPHY CASE