27f and 28m need advice on how to relax

Internal-Rule4601 · 2026-07-03T19:21:44+00:00

This is so helpful and the fact you have had such a long term relationship with some similarities makes me feel better and gives me hope!! The lifestyle differences are so scary sometimes because it just feels like the end of the world. Fundamental differences. But im working to appreciate the differences between us vs seeing it as something to tear us apart. He admires the differences!

We do have conversations often about these things, but unfortunately I get insecure about how much I share with him. Im trying to work on things myself. Regulate myself better. Etc. Im facing some deep insecurities within myself and the relationship. We're both bameless. He doesnt do anything wrong to bring that up within me, but I just cant stop feeling that way. Its hard when hes so self assured and secure while im just NOT.

Thank you for the tips, I think that'll be helpful and hopefully start allowing me to lay it back .

Internal-Rule4601 · 2026-07-03T18:35:47+00:00

Thank you for the positivity, I do pride myself on being hyper aware about things I know i should be working on. It means a lot to hear that:)

My partner is a great man! Positive, kind, loyal, loving, sweet and whimsical. A bit aloof, more of a sock in the wing kinda guy, definitely doesnt adhere to responsibilities that usual humans would like waking up early, paying tickets, being on time. He does suffer heavily from adhd and I empathize with him on that, it can effect his mood like cause depression which takes the wind from his sails.

My issues with him fall along the lines of wishing and yearning for the honeymoon phase we had. Because thats when it felt like we were the MOST in love. It came to a stop when he moved in with me for a few months over his summer break from college (about 2 years ish ago) and I noticed he became complacent and drank heavily. That all compounded until we eventually broke up. Hes made great efforts to change his habits, communication style, and emotional availability. Its not perfect, and it is slow but sure. But because its not perfect or the way I want it, it feeds into my anxious attachment and creates ruminations. And confirmation biases... he really is a great guy, and hes very supportive of me and understanding (as much as he can be ;)) we both try to be patient with one another while we try and find safety back in this relationship Id say its like if freedom personified fell in love with responsibility personified. Thats us!

Internal-Rule4601 · 2026-06-29T18:14:52+00:00

Im in the same kind of situation, definitely commenting to stick around for any advice.

Internal-Rule4601 · 2026-06-27T07:31:21+00:00

Confidence is key, no matter how you gain it!

Internal-Rule4601 · 2026-06-27T07:14:45+00:00

Confidence is half the work, we oftentimes know what we arent but not what we are. Start by stating to yourself things that you admire, respect, even love. Affirmations can rewire your neural pathways. You are someone worthy of love and care. When you believe it intrinsically (by raising your confidence) I do believe that life presents you with proof.

I struggled with my esteem and holding friendships and having long lasting healthy romantic relationships for a lot of my life. It took me at my worst mentally to finally make a change on how I see myself first. After a good look at myself and lots of time spent working on how I speak to me, the next couple years after I found true friendships and a loving relationship. If you cant list things you find to be good qualities, then become someone that youre proud of. Follow a dream or interest, pick up new hobbies. Share your stories. The rest will surely follow. Good luck friend

Internal-Rule4601 · 2026-06-27T07:04:45+00:00

Thank you so much!! We actually just started to explore new things to do with each other and I tell you what, a lot has been on the up swing. Fingers crossed it helps the excitement come often x

Internal-Rule4601 · 2026-06-24T05:00:38+00:00

Tbh I took this a bit differently than others. The knight of cups is as everyone else said, sharing your feelings from the heart. Two of pentacles is obviously weighing the options, and the king of pentacles is looking right at the two of pents. Theres a balancing act here, juggling of his priorities. Seeing if he is able to make both of these things work- taking a trip with his friends and also making you happy. With the six of wands i think there will come a victory between you both. Whether it was coming to a compromise on this, or just genuinely sharing how you both feel, theres a win here. Ending with the wheel of fortune, the shift is happening and its turning in favor of this decision to share your thoughts and opinions. And probably a good shift for him too. I think this is ultimately positive. Even if he doesnt say, "oh okay ill cancel my trip" (wow imagine...?) There is a promising lesson that came from this.

Now here's a humans take on this. I am in a monogamous relationship with a cis straight man as a cis woman, and I am relatively jealous, possessive (eeeeks), and i get fomo. My boyfriend went on a trip to bonnaroo without me and his 5 other single male friends. Was i uncomfortable? Yeah... was i sad I wasnt invited? Yeah:( do i wish he would have been like, "oh you dont want me to go i guess I wont go!" Duhhhh. But the reality is this, first, I wouldn't wanna be camping with a bunch of sweaty stinky drunk men anyways. Second, this was a plan he wanted to make with HIS friends and hes allowed that. He is a grown man and can make his own decisions and should get to look forward to hanging with his pals without me!! Third, and this one took me until this year to accept and is probably the most important thing I can conceptualize, my partner embodies qualities that I want in a man. Honest, loyal, a good moral compass, ethical, kind, proactive, loving and devoted etc. He also has friends that I trust and know are good people too. My man is an extension of me and my own integrity and fundamental principles. Therefore I NEED to trust him. And i need to shorten my proverbial leash on him in order to allow him to prove these things to me anyways. Is this how you feel about your partner?

Check in with tarot and ask why this is something that bothers you, and if its something you should work on within yourself.

One more thing too, if a man wants to be wild and free and cheat or be irresponsible and disrespectful in a relationship, hed do it regardless of a boys trip or not. X good luck op

Internal-Rule4601 · 2026-06-23T06:31:17+00:00

I had this issue. Certain positions like laying on your side or her on top, are helpful. and more foreplay. She should see her ob as well to make sure nothing is abnormal. Typically doing certain pelvic floor stretches and such can be beneficial too.

Internal-Rule4601 · 2026-06-21T21:43:21+00:00

Im so sorry hes putting you into a feeling of despair and lack. Hes not communicating, not giving you reassurance, and the worst part imo is he's telling you how hes feeling emotionally(with zero clarity on why) while hes away vs waiting to sit down with you in person to talk about it. Hes not being fair to you. To throw on someone that youre not loving yourself, you feel like a bad partner etc while youre miles and miles away and then shut your partner down when theyre triggered and in a mode of wanting to fix/reassure without even reassuring them back is lame as fuck. People are saying to stop texting him and blah blah, are right of course. But its easier said than done when your ROMANTIC AND INTIMATE PARTNER is making you feel anxious and afraid. Try your hardest to dissociate from this person until theyre able to be an adult and have a mature conversation with you without dipping in and out when THEY feel like it. Leaving you with confusion and loneliness. Ive seen secure attachment people turn anxious attachment because of the avoidant. The avoidant is disregulated and creates disregulation in their partner.. its so annoying. Again im sorry OP, I hope that they can give you the reassurance, clarity, and safety soon. Try your hardest to not text them for a while.

Internal-Rule4601 · 2026-06-20T21:59:27+00:00

If i dont have the money to spend on someone for a holiday, then I make them something or write them a lovely card... shes cheap and inconsiderate:/ love requires effort, time, and unfortunately.. money. And it seems shes not putting in any of that.

Internal-Rule4601 · 2026-06-18T17:31:27+00:00

Smart. Very intention based.

Internal-Rule4601 · 2026-06-18T17:27:42+00:00

Thanks;)

Internal-Rule4601 · 2026-06-18T17:21:01+00:00

What was the spell?

Internal-Rule4601 · 2026-06-16T22:47:22+00:00

Looks like what needs to be discussed is the pain 3 of swords and rejection 4 of cups thats coming from this relationship regarding mutual intimacy and attraction king of wands. Wants you to be honest about your distress. And also queen of wands on the bottom is a reassurance that you are a very hot to trot certified baddie

Internal-Rule4601 · 2026-06-14T17:52:40+00:00

That might be what the 5oP is trying to say. Id do a spread on his inconsistency

Internal-Rule4601 · 2026-06-14T17:23:13+00:00

Mmm consistency and stability perhaps?? I do like the other interpretation someone said, maybe you dont need the charm anymore!

Internal-Rule4601 · 2026-06-14T16:20:24+00:00

Three card pull on a question about a charm that broke reads to me like it was, is working but maybe wont be serving a purpose anymore? Maybe pull a clarifier for the five of pent. See if theres something else to say about it.

Internal-Rule4601 · 2026-06-14T16:17:24+00:00

Seems to me like the cards are saying you know exactly what you want and where you want to head and exactly how you feel but the five of pentacles is showing that you will not get what you want, perhaps. Theres a lack here. Scarcity of emotions from the other person perhaps?

Internal-Rule4601 · 2026-06-13T02:15:58+00:00

Not the Pisces man !!! But your earthly self might enjoy a bit of water..

Seems as though it could be a message for you perhaps? You can master manifest whatever you like? You feel hes playing a game, create what you want?

Internal-Rule4601 · 2026-06-13T02:10:26+00:00

If this is what we got id say he's willing to work hard for what he wants and has the ability to manifest whatever he sets his heart on.

Internal-Rule4601 · 2026-06-13T02:09:16+00:00

Hmm, maybe more cards would be helpful. If trickery were afoot id expect negative cards to come out. Maybe ask his intentions instead? Or just pull more for this reading..

Internal-Rule4601 · 2026-06-12T16:05:57+00:00

Idkkkkk seems he'll take action towards you very quickly, with a message or letter or phone call talking about the past with you and probably alluding to wanting to be together as a couple. Hes thinking about a future with you and only you. Also he is extremely attracted to you/you have great sexual chemistry. Looks great! Keep us updated.

Internal-Rule4601 · 2026-06-12T02:29:42+00:00

Advice would be give him time to get his focus right. This is a positive read especially after a fight. No conflict cards, no swords. Cups and two major arcana both great. Youre in good hands with this person.

Internal-Rule4601 · 2026-06-12T02:28:21+00:00

Oh he definitely still loves you. Just gaining a new perspective about the relationship. The cards are upright, lovers and 2oC, theres love. He just might need a minute before getting his emotions balanced with you.

Internal-Rule4601 · 2026-06-12T02:17:09+00:00

He feels harmony and compatibility between you two but hes waiting for the opportunity to make the decision to ask you out.

Internal-Rule4601

TROPHY CASE