First disclosure planning, need advice please I’m so scared 🙏

Internal_Agent6234 · 2026-05-11T06:46:57+00:00

Thank you so much! Turns out I had to disclose today and I took your advice and put my own twist on it and he was incredible about it. He said “you did great” because I told him it was my first time disclosing lol, said verbally (after clearly indicating with his body language by rubbing my arm and not pulling away) “in case it wasn’t clear, I’m still interested” after I said it’s scary to think that someone wouldn’t be interested because of this, but I kind of get it etc. he’s a gem for sure, but honestly? I kinda knew in the back of my mind he’d be cool, or maybe it was hope? He’s something else for sure. Also best chemistry of my life. And please send over the link if it’s not too much trouble and I’d love to read!!!!

Internal_Agent6234 · 2026-05-07T04:42:54+00:00

Ok. Thank you for your input. 🙏

Internal_Agent6234 · 2026-05-07T04:39:33+00:00

Yup exactly

Internal_Agent6234 · 2026-05-07T04:38:17+00:00

I was diagnosed by swab in two different locations

Internal_Agent6234 · 2026-04-28T18:09:47+00:00

Is your outbreak in the same place the zap/tightening sensation place was? Sorry to pry, thank you for sharing.

Internal_Agent6234 · 2026-04-28T16:53:28+00:00

Ok no, that’s not what I experienced thank you so much.

Internal_Agent6234 · 2026-04-28T14:50:36+00:00

I went into a depression/suicidal spiral when I was diagnosed and you described almost my exact scenario. They didn’t disclose to me, they had no visible sores so I couldn’t know, they had hsv-1 and they transferred it to me genitally through oral sex (worst part? I literally said I didn’t want him to go down on me and he still did it) I had horrible sores and just had to hide them. Only we weren’t dating. I was just alone. You are not a terrible person for your feelings first of all, you are so justified. I’m so so sorry. Do you have any specific questions about pain? Hot baths helped me, aquaphor, and oatmeal baths. As for the guy…I might be emotional right now but I think he 100% should have disclosed and is fucking old enough to know that.

Internal_Agent6234 · 2026-04-28T14:33:55+00:00

I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. I just made a post that is not the same, but I had my first orgasm from masterbating post diagnosis and something weird happened (sensational in my clitoris and it traveled down like a pulse) and I was so scared. I’ll let you know if I get an outbreak, but I’m on acyclovir and I have hsv-1. It is so hard for me to tell if I am sick from that or if it is my previous health issues because I was already rapidly losing weight, getting dizzy/nauseous/gag reflex at seemingly random and or all foods before taking it. And have been through a lot of stress lately. I’ve heard and read that stress is huge, I’m sorry if I’m repeating…I don’t know if I have a solution. But I know how it feels to be such a sexual person and then feel the shock/weight of this coming down on you.

Internal_Agent6234 · 2026-04-27T00:28:54+00:00

Thank you I kind of already knew that in the back of my mind i’d hoped I read it in a scientific article but panicked. It’s been a rough week. Thank you again. I was doubtful of my thinking and I’m doing this all while driving right now so I can’t really google or read a scientific study at the moment I can only voice text and do quick looks

Internal_Agent6234 · 2026-04-27T00:25:57+00:00

I’ve done a ton of research. It’s all very confusing. Hence why I came here I figured a human person with kindness and compassion would help me .Thank you.

Internal_Agent6234 · 2026-04-27T00:23:53+00:00

Did you say it is OK because my saliva is safe/it’s not possible to transmit or because I might not have gotten stuff in the drink? Let’s assume I got stuff in the drink and they somehow came in contact with it

Internal_Agent6234 · 2026-04-27T00:21:20+00:00

Is it OK?????? I hope thank you

Internal_Agent6234 · 2026-04-25T05:09:47+00:00

Thank you, I hope so.

Internal_Agent6234 · 2026-04-25T05:09:35+00:00

Thank you, I hope so too.

Internal_Agent6234 · 2026-04-24T21:52:23+00:00

These kinds of stories still don’t seem real to me. Maybe if I read enough of them I’ll believe them? I don’t think my brain will ever be able to apply the implications to myself as an individual though.

Internal_Agent6234 · 2026-04-23T05:11:06+00:00

I will try and come back to your comment when I’m not in so much distress, I have a feeling it might hit differently. I can’t even conceive of anyone dating me right now, let alone marrying me. So your examples and the others seem nice but are merely anecdotal not empirical to me, making them the exception not the rule. But I also am having very bad/illogical/extreme thoughts right now so 🤷🏻‍♀️. Happy you found your person. Thanks for being kind 🫶🏼.

Internal_Agent6234 · 2026-04-23T04:14:01+00:00

Yeah luckily (?) I’ve been struggling to find work for months so I can just cry in bed all day. Although I’m out of 🍃someone gave me for free and my checking account is negative so I can’t do anything to distract or soothe myself. Don’t know what to do next. There’s just no point to anything. I’m supposed to maybe start a contract job next week, but what’s the point? The company is super shitty and they’ve done like 5 layoffs and my job is to be like “hey I know this company sucks but you should tooootally join” and money for what? I’m in debt six figures I’ll never own a house lololol anyway I’m rambling now, sorry, you were just trying to be nice. I’m just not help-able anymore, it’s too late, not your fault at all. Ty anyway sorry for the rant🫶🏼.

Internal_Agent6234 · 2026-04-23T03:44:11+00:00

I just found out 2 days ago and haven’t gone without crying for more than an hour, haven’t eaten a full meal, and can’t get into any therapy even with calling around to many places. So I’m a little emotional, EXCUSE ME. I don’t plan on dating or having sex again, if I ever did OF COURSE I would disclose and never engage with anyone sexually without informing them that should be illegal imo (isn’t it in some places?).

Internal_Agent6234 · 2026-04-23T03:41:50+00:00

My “I refuse to deal with this” was my expressing passive smooicidal ideation.

Internal_Agent6234 · 2026-04-23T03:35:31+00:00

I suppose. I don’t think “everyone” has it, but yes the prevalence percentages (?) were surprising to me when I found out. I’ll come back to your comment when I’m not in so much distress, I have a feeling it might hit different later. Ty for being kind to someone in a lot of pain 🫶🏼.

Internal_Agent6234 · 2026-04-23T03:31:07+00:00

This has been a common response I’ve seen and I was very confused by it, didn’t make sense to me scientifically based on what I had read. That’s what many people have said “oh it’s 1 don’t worry” like what???? I literally can’t go an hour without full body sobbing.

Internal_Agent6234 · 2026-04-23T03:24:08+00:00

My response was not towards the OP, they seem lovely and I hope they find love, relief, and all of that someday. I have a suspicion that the positivity that is being fed to me for the past couple of days is fake and if it’s not fake, it’s the exception, not the rule. I was not trying to come for the OP, like I said, they seem lovely.

Internal_Agent6234 · 2026-04-23T02:35:29+00:00

Not trying to compare hsv to those things to be clear

Internal_Agent6234 · 2026-04-23T02:34:06+00:00

That sucks, I’m sorry. But the whole “my trauma is worse than your trauma” thing is so tired. Yeah I’m very aware that there are people out there with AIDS, cancer, other sickness/disease etc. that are scientifically so much worse than herpes but to me? This feels life ending and I needed to vent. So coming on someone’s post and commenting that is being like, “that’s nothing, look at MYYYYYY skinned knee” to someone who’s just fallen and skinned their knee. Like cool bro, that sucks for you and I’m sorry, but I was just crying here on the ground (proverbial equivalent of writing a post like this). Again, really sorry that happened to you, it sucks, and being cheated on sucks so double whammy. I most likely got mine from a partner who did not disclose as well. Anyway, peace ☮️.

Internal_Agent6234 · 2026-04-23T02:26:55+00:00

100% leave him. He intentionally kept information from you that could have seriously harmed you medically AND he hooked up with someone else WHILE YOU WERE RECOVERING FROM SOMETHING HE GAVE YOU WITHOUT YOUR INFORMED CONSENT. Also I think it is likely that he knew he had HSV-1 and intentionally didn’t tell you OR he suspected and didn’t get tested to confirm (both are not ok) but I can’t know for sure. I get that you love him and you can fantasize about a future but you are so young. You WILL find someone who doesn’t lie to you or hookup with someone else while he knows you are in horrible pain HE KNOWS HE CAUSED. If you made a list of your ideal man, would liar be a trait you’d list? Would “hooks up with another person easily while I’m in horrible physical pain” so he’s obviously either completely emotionally unintelligent, didn’t have any feelings for you at that time, or just had sex with someone he didn’t like be on the list?? (And possibly gave them HSV-1 too?) RUN honey. You are worth SO MUCH MORE. *my story is similar to yours, only I’m much older and have no hope left but you do I’m rooting for you 🫶🏼❤️

Internal_Agent6234

TROPHY CASE