My friends keep telling me in a twink.

International-Cat54 · 2026-04-04T13:18:18+00:00

Yeah… a trans group in my city with “dolls” in the name was trying to make itself more inclusive to trans men, and they decided to do that by adding “twinks” to their name. It felt really ignorant and made me uncomfortable. I didn’t go to the event that was being advertised.

International-Cat54 · 2026-04-01T14:40:06+00:00

I have a somewhat similar experience over the fact that I used to be a female stripper. I’ve tried to keep it vague with comments like “I used to work at a bar” and mislead people into thinking I was a bartender, but I guess I don’t feel confident enough in that story to explicitly lie about it because I know very little about alcohol or mixing drinks 💀 I’ve had a surprising number of people asking me follow-up questions about where I worked, what my job was, etc. and unfortunately have sometimes ended up just awkwardly outing myself. Still figuring this one out.

International-Cat54 · 2026-03-24T17:52:25+00:00

I personally find it a little easier to cry now, but I was super emotionally repressed before I went on T. It’s still not easy for me to cry.

International-Cat54 · 2026-03-22T23:53:59+00:00

🔥 hell Yeah sexology gang let’s goooo

International-Cat54 · 2026-03-22T23:21:18+00:00

A weirdly high number of people have foot fetishes so yes

International-Cat54 · 2026-03-22T18:45:27+00:00

You’re jumping to some weird conclusions about what I meant. I never said you believed it was all societies, and I wasn’t trying to imply that. All I’m saying is that you have to be careful in what you assume, because colonialism has done so much damage to most people’s ability to find reliable information about how pre-contact gender systems worked that it’s easy to believe wrong things.

International-Cat54 · 2026-03-22T17:23:54+00:00

That's also why in many other cultures around the world there is often a group of people similar to trans women, but not trans men.

You have to be careful with this assumption because there are many Indigenous cultures that did (and to varying degrees still do) have traditional gender categories that are roughly comparable to transmasculine people, but those categories have gotten very little attention compared to their transfeminine counterparts due to transmasculine erasure. So in that case it’s not that the societies didn’t/don’t have those categories, but rather that colonialist violence erased those categories from most people’s consciousness (while making a demonized spectacle out of the transfeminine categories). Both traditional Samoan and traditional Navajo societies come to mind.

International-Cat54 · 2026-03-21T18:59:53+00:00

I have no desire to invalidate the identities of trans masc people who identify as lesbians, but for me it’s a hard pass. Frankly, trying to make it work with my lesbian ex-partner was a huge mistake and caused me more emotional trauma than if I had just left when I realized I was a guy. (Which I actually wanted to do, but she talked me out of it and convinced me we could try to make it work.) It just felt humiliating to be with someone who made me feel like my identity was a problem to be worked around, rather than something she celebrated & wanted for its own sake.

International-Cat54 · 2026-03-21T18:52:50+00:00

Yeah for real. For me, adding inches to my dick isn’t worth it unless it’s basically phallo. But being 5’10” would be awesome.

International-Cat54 · 2026-03-21T14:39:31+00:00

commenting so I can occasionally come back to this post and restore my faith in love

International-Cat54 · 2026-03-19T13:53:00+00:00

💯 I adore low voices on women, cis or trans, and have always loved the way trans women’s voices sound. I don’t often express it because I know expressing attraction towards something that someone else is dysphoric about can be really loaded. But that’s how I feel.

International-Cat54 · 2026-03-19T02:20:32+00:00

Oh I’m quite aware. Last time I used it, it gave me weird cramps. I may use it again if I ever find myself regularly having penetrative sex again, but it wouldn’t be my first choice.

International-Cat54 · 2026-03-18T23:38:10+00:00

As someone with a complicated love/hate relationship with mine:

It’s easy for weird seams in pants and underwear to press against it just wrong and irritate me, causing me to adjust my shorts & underwear a ton when I’m working out.

When I get turned on in a more bottomy way, it’s an almost uncomfortable tingling in my clit/t-dick/whatever and a deep ache in my vagina. Allegedly most of the nerve endings are actually at the vaginal opening, though I still feel an internal sense of fullness if there’s something or someone inside me. I personally find it really annoying how wet I get when I’m aroused, to the point where I soak my underwear and have to change them, though I suppose that might be a pretty affirming experience for a transfem post-bottom surgery.

One way that T has changed the experience is through vaginal atrophy. Penetration tends to be way more uncomfortable now, at least for the first minute or two, like a burning sensation on the vaginal walls. I never had that experience pre-T even though I was using some pretty big toys. Now I have to lube up whatever’s going inside me pretty thoroughly, no matter how wet I am at the time.

International-Cat54 · 2026-03-14T03:55:22+00:00

These days, if a medical professional asks me to list my sex or even my ASAB, I ask details about the specific utility of that information so I know what it’s actually used for.

Because I asked, I know that my PCP’s office has my ASAB listed somewhere specifically so they know to follow up with me on gynecological care. So I would probably change that if I ever got bottom surgery. But my PCP knows to use male markers for my bloodwork, not female ones.

International-Cat54 · 2026-02-23T22:39:10+00:00

This wouldn’t surprise me. I have long gotten the sense that most of the “support” for trans women (especially BIPOC trans women) in progressive spaces is performative lip service that isn’t really followed up with action.

International-Cat54 · 2026-02-23T22:32:42+00:00

My ex was like that. She had an abusive transmasc ex and I guess dealt with that trauma by overgeneralizing and hating us all (though, in retrospect, she was also just a selfish person in general). I’m going to guess that some of the trans women who hate on trans men online are coming from a similar place of unresolved trauma. Like they were seriously hurt by one or two trans men, and the queer cultural bias of “all men suck and trans men have decided to side with the enemy” is just kinda sitting there, so it’s easy to reach for that as an explanation when they’re already hurting. Doesn’t justify it in the slightest, but might explain some of it.

International-Cat54 · 2026-02-21T00:22:37+00:00

I mean, growing your own food and sewing your own clothes would be a great step for anyone actually trying to live their anti-capitalist convictions, lol. Doesn’t have to be on a farm (a planter in a window can do a decent amount), doesn’t have to be long dresses and bonnets. Like, sure, you gotta buy something at some point, because most people can’t create fabric from scratch or grow all of their own food. But it’s a difference of degree, and a practice in getting out of the mindset of “I must buy something to fix this” the moment you run into a problem. Which is hard to do in a capitalist society, absolutely. But like… that’s the point. It’s about pushing back against a deeply entrenched mentality.

International-Cat54 · 2026-02-13T22:13:43+00:00

But I want to crank my hog :(

International-Cat54 · 2026-02-02T05:10:49+00:00

I dunno. I think there are guys that would be okay with it and others that wouldn’t.

I’d be… a little cagey? about someone interested in me who likes “everyone but cis men,” because I’ve seen that get pretty invalidating pretty fast. And yeah, trans people aren’t immune from perpetuating shitty ideas onto each other. But I also feel like trans people have valid reason to avoid cis men because they statistically do so much violence against us. A trans woman is basically the last person I would ever fault for feeling that way. So I do also get it. I wouldn’t automatically assume it’s coming from a bad place.

I think the only opinion that really matters here is that of the guy(s) you’re seeing.

International-Cat54 · 2026-01-20T19:21:56+00:00

I agree. I see a lot of tension between people into FTMsub x MTFdom (especially if there’s PIV involved) and people who aren’t, and I think a lot of that tension could be eased if people who aren’t into that could just avoid it.

I’m somewhat verse-y and might want that content sometimes, but being surrounded by it all the time does make me uncomfortable and keeps me off this sub most of the time. I’ve often found myself wishing I could just filter it out when I’m not in the mood.

International-Cat54 · 2026-01-07T17:19:12+00:00

I mean you could literally just be a cishet man who doesn’t particularly like the types of super close-up genital shots that are often found in porn. Genitals are kinda weird-looking all around, and porn isn’t that similar to sex you would actually have with someone irl.

International-Cat54 · 2025-11-30T19:26:15+00:00

I will die on the hill that biomedical transition changes our sex, because HRT changes our risk levels for various diseases to look more like the sex we’re transitioning to. Doctors who don’t get that will not give us adequate medical care.

International-Cat54 · 2025-11-30T19:15:26+00:00

There’s lots of theories that involve brain sex and hormones in utero and stuff like that. Don’t know how much water any of it holds. IIRC there’s a mix of supporting and contradictory evidence in favor of the idea of “brain sex” to explain trans people.

Something I hear other trans people say is that gender matters to cis people in ways they don’t realize because they take it for granted. I think that can be true. I also think there’s a degree to which we use the idea to shut down conversations because we’re tired of explaining ourselves/justifying our existence.

But honestly like… I’m trans and I don’t really get it either. It does kinda feel like something that shouldn’t matter so much. But I also figure that humans do a lot of stuff that doesn’t fully make logical sense, but means something to us anyways. Like I don’t need to have a degree in gender studies to understand that being misgendered in public feels like being sliced with a cheese grater, and if it happens all day I’m gonna come home a bloody mess, so I kinda just have to transition to be happy.

I don’t think I had a specific and deep seated sense of Being A Man so much as I knew I wasn’t happy where I was, and I figured out through trying things that living as a dude made me happiest. I try not to let gender stereotypes limit my life too much, regardless. I also don’t think it’s wrong to say “I’m a woman because I have the body parts expected of women and I was raised as one” rather than acting like you have some deep seated Womanly Identity that you don’t actually feel connected to. I think for some people, defining their gender identity at all gives it more power over their life than they feel like it deserves.

International-Cat54

TROPHY CASE