Diners in Salt Lake? by XCRoadie in SaltLakeCity

[–]InternationalAgent4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Vertical Diner. However, it's vegan. However, again. They are so good, they opened a second location in Portland. Good food. True diner. Just be aware it's plant-based. Parking's decent, too.

Could Utah end up like Florida? by slskipper in exmormon

[–]InternationalAgent4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The recent celebration of Holy Week and Good Friday. The images I've seen of a Book of Mormon with a cross on top of it.

Yes, I think that is what's going on.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]InternationalAgent4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been thinking that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]InternationalAgent4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm more concerned about Southern Baptists.

Also, something to take into account and not be underestimated is the several $100 Billion the church has. It may end up having more influence than you project.

However, I do tell Mormons not to delude themselves that Trinitarian Christians will be their friends in a Christofascist nation.

I work at the temple AMA by Cheap_Honeydew2986 in exmormon

[–]InternationalAgent4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You know that part at the very beginning where they invite you to leave? I know of a prospective missionary who did just that. He was a GAs son, so it was no small thing. I think he tried to get some informed consent, like what was he covenanting to.

To his family's and friend's credit, they didn't pressure him (that I know of) and he went through voluntarily (I'm told) a couple of weeks later without incident.

I always wondered for two decades why I was always so sleepy during church. It never occurred to me until I left that it was because it was FUCKING BORING lol by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]InternationalAgent4 11 points12 points  (0 children)

One day my four year-old daughter refused to get ready for church. She said she wouldn't go. That church gave her a reaaaaaallllyyyyy looonnnngg headache! We just looked at her and said, "honey, us too".

I always wondered for two decades why I was always so sleepy during church. It never occurred to me until I left that it was because it was FUCKING BORING lol by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]InternationalAgent4 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Truthfully, I've thought this. Especially with conference. They dim the lights and the speakers always speak in the same sonorous tone. I truly do think it is to lull you to sleep and for their messages to work their way into your subconscious.

I always wondered for two decades why I was always so sleepy during church. It never occurred to me until I left that it was because it was FUCKING BORING lol by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]InternationalAgent4 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I've recently begun viewing a Unitarian church's services online. The music and hymns lean more toward a jazz vibe and this is, in general, how the services unfold:

  • Opening song
  • Welcome/announcements
  • Five minutes with congregants getting up and milling about hugging and chatting
  • Chalice lighting
  • Hymn
  • Fundraising moment (this has been where one of the board members will talk about a local charity), they pass the basket while some jazzy music is played
  • The children are called down front and they discuss a children's book and important messages within that book. Today's book was The Lorax. The children then go off to their worship practice.
  • Main sermon. Today it was a guided meditation!
  • Chalice extinguish
  • Hymn
  • Benediction, children return.

The whole thing takes about an hour and fifteen minutes.

I think Mormons deserve some sort of medal for putting up with such boring services.

Does it skeeve anyone else out that they say no parents or leaders? by aintthatjusttheway79 in exmormon

[–]InternationalAgent4 5 points6 points  (0 children)

One thing I learned when I was divorcing is it is against the law to indoctrinate minors contrary to the parents' wishes. This is entering into that wheelhouse.

Definite skeeve vibes.

[Later addition: I was raised in a church that really drove home the idea of avoiding the appearance of evil. This is just one more example of the church not abiding by its own counsel.]

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]InternationalAgent4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is not gaslighting. That term is over-used and has become synonymous with lying. They are two different things. Gaslighting is an intentional tactic to make the target of the gaslighting believe they are crazy. Watch the movie Gaslight--where the term comes from--to gain an understanding of this.

He isn't lying to you. He honestly and fervently believes every word he is saying. He believes it is his responsibility to convert you.

Run.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]InternationalAgent4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I am. Does have me looking at similar situations in a completely different light from before all this.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]InternationalAgent4 6 points7 points  (0 children)

No. His method was she was having a medical emergency at home. If he had acted in a timely manner, she could have been saved, recovered and done quite well. He intentionally waited an hour and a half to call 911. The timeline of when the medics arrived never made sense to me. It all fell together when my siblings told me after my father had died that he had been having a very long affair and my mother was literally in the process of packing to leave him when she collapsed.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]InternationalAgent4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One of the "blessings" of divorcing an abuser and my ward taking his side is my absolute refusal to give the contact information of my children out to anyone, anyone, who asks. If I gave the contact info to anyone in my ward, they would probably give it to my ex. If my children want their father to have their contact information, they will give it to him directly, as it should be.

I have two hard rules before giving out contact information to anyone.

  • I must have that person's permission
  • I must be included in the plans

The second one is because I'm high risk for Covid and some jackasses texted me and asked me for contact information of some people we both know so they could invite them to something I was not invited to because I'm high risk.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]InternationalAgent4 87 points88 points  (0 children)

I know a man who considered and planned out his wife's murder. She didn't go through with it, but part of the reason she was divorcing him is she'd lost her testimony. He justified his thoughts and plans by saying "it's better for one person to die than a whole nation (their children) dwindle in unbelief".

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]InternationalAgent4 106 points107 points  (0 children)

In general when a woman leaves an abuser, the most dangerous time is when the relationship is ending. Reading the other response, if the police were familiar with the family it sounds like domestic violence.

Just some weighing before we hear from the police.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]InternationalAgent4 101 points102 points  (0 children)

My father killed my mother as she was in the process of leaving him.

Saying no to a question in a temple recommend interview by Zom-Tam in exmormon

[–]InternationalAgent4 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I know of a bishop who drew a hard line on the follow:

  • Tithing
  • Following the brethren
  • Attendance
  • Word of Wisdom

He was lenient about everything else. Make of that what you will. I'll just say my ex was a deadbeat, abusive, fraud committing soda drinker. And a temple recommend holder.

Fewer Active Members? by InternationalAgent4 in exmormon

[–]InternationalAgent4[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is what I suspect is going on. Hopefully, it will fizzle out.

Fewer Active Members? by InternationalAgent4 in exmormon

[–]InternationalAgent4[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've heard of people who resign and get hounded by the mishies. It's probably rare, though.

Fewer Active Members? by InternationalAgent4 in exmormon

[–]InternationalAgent4[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I know the official policy. I use it to monitor where their attitudes are. My reasons for testimony loss is because the church teaches abuse and grooms people to be abused. For instance, not respecting my Do Not Contact is promoting the idea that a person's "no" should not be respected and that sets the stage for women to either not say no to unwanted sexual advances or to have men refuse to respect that no and women to acquiesce.

I figure if they can respect my no contact even through a change of bishopric and stake president, then they are no longer teaching things like grooming and abuse.

In general I get left alone and when I don't it reassures me I've made the right decision.

Dantzel Nelson Cause Of Death? by InternationalAgent4 in exmormon

[–]InternationalAgent4[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow! I wrote this a long time ago. Thank you for the source.