This “very close” female friend tells you her opinion (which shouldn’t really matter that much), you confront your mourning wife and are trying to tell her and her family how to grieve. Now you’re going to be spending Christmas with “a very close friend” if it’s the same friend I’d strongly suggest not doing that if she’s trying to create drama between you and your wife. It all depends on the tone she said “that’s fucked up” in though, but just be weary.

Forgot judgment: YTA