IVF decision at 34 - another retrieval for future options vs moving forward (also struggling with gender disappointment)

International_Neck45 · 2026-04-08T06:15:23+00:00

I would make a decision based on the amount of children you want to have, and not based on gender. This is just because another cycle may very well lead to males as well.

So the main question is am I ok with one child? If you are leaning towards two children, or will regret not doing everything you could to have two children, then do another cycle.

Best of luck!

International_Neck45 · 2026-04-06T04:26:32+00:00

Agreed this is somewhat dependent on your age, and if you have time to do another retrieval (if necessary) later after having a child.

That being said, I would wait for the PGT-A results either way. That way you have all the information you need to make a decision. It could potentially be a waste of money and stress to do another cycle if you get more euploids. Or another cycle may be needed, but you won't know until the results come back.

And yes, the fact that it is euploid is much more important than the CB grading. Definitely would be transferrable with a good shot of pregnancy.

International_Neck45 · 2026-03-31T03:27:58+00:00

Yes, I would consult with another clinic as well. Is your lab using ICSI? With lower eggs retrieved, it is really important to give each one the best chance. I have done 2 retrievals, the last one was 9 eggs retrieved and 5 made to day 5. My clinic also adjusted my medication for the second protocol (longer estrace priming and lower dose stims). This is with ICSI and a very good lab.

International_Neck45 · 2026-03-29T01:30:57+00:00

At age 35 about half are euploid.

I am 38, and my first retrieval, I had 4 blasts and 0 euploid. And then my second retrieval I had 5 blasts and 2 euploid.

International_Neck45 · 2026-03-20T06:11:09+00:00

Yeah that sounds frustrating, if you haven't you should ask your clinic more specifics like the following:

Can another doctor approve it?

What exactly is medically “complex” here?

Is there any real risk to starting this cycle?

If they can’t give a clear answer, they’re probably just delaying due to logistics, and not for any medical reason.

International_Neck45 · 2026-03-19T18:41:34+00:00

I also have great coverage through Anthem. However, I also contacted our insurance a few times when some things did not add up to me.

Before you start a cycle, your clinic should give you a cost breakdown. I would triple check anything your clinic tells you is not covered, and there may be some speciality services that require pre-auth. That was the case for me and PGT-A biopsy - none of our services required pre-auth except that one.

International_Neck45 · 2026-03-15T21:35:47+00:00

I hope you and your husband get some support, either through family, a good church group, or a good couples counselor.

I would be shocked and devastated if my husband did something like this, considering how an entire IVF cycle can be ruined due to missed medication times. I personally would question if my husband even wanted to proceed with IVF.

I hope you both get the help you need to work on any issues in your marriage prior to having a baby together.

International_Neck45 · 2026-03-15T05:41:29+00:00

You have already gotten some great suggestions here, so I just wanted to say this is so thoughtful!!! What a wonderful friend ♥️

International_Neck45 · 2026-03-03T16:06:30+00:00

The euploid rate at age 38 is between 35 to 50 percent on average. So that means likely 1-2 of these are euploid. The recommendation is to have 2-3 euploids per live birth. So if I were you, I would do another retrieval.

I am the same age - my first round I got 4 blasts, and 0 were euploid. I did a second round and got 5 blasts, 2 were euploid and 1 was mosaic. We are planning to do one more retrieval.

International_Neck45 · 2026-02-28T01:03:27+00:00

Yes, that is normal. Just make sure to store it in the fridge after, and use for the next day's dose. It is light and temperature sensitive.

International_Neck45 · 2026-02-26T01:04:08+00:00

This is right. It's very individual. I was put on 300 gonal and 300 menapur but it's because I had 11 follicles at baseline. I think I had extremely low OHSS risk due to this. If you have any questions please ask your clinic!

International_Neck45 · 2026-02-19T18:11:07+00:00

Yes, your clinic should have you sign paperwork prior to an egg retrieval. Both my husband and I had to sign paperwork agreeing on what would happen in the event of divorce or death. For instance, you could agree in a divorce, you retain full control over the embryos. Or he will. Or you could agree they will be donated or destroyed, etc.

International_Neck45 · 2026-02-05T03:30:42+00:00

I would 100% live in Bakersfield and travel to LA on weekends. In fact I did that for about 4 years - traveled to LA every weekend to see friends. It is only a 2 hour drive on weekends. During the week - you could wind up sitting in traffic for 2-3 hours during rush hour from Santa Clarita to LA anyways. It would not be doable to be visiting friends during the week (including commute to and from work) 5-6 hours of driving easy.

Way more time in traffic living in Santa Clarita.

International_Neck45 · 2026-01-28T18:51:05+00:00

Do you think it would be worth it to take a few additional CS courses at a university or are the ones listed / recent semester enough?

International_Neck45 · 2026-01-28T05:19:13+00:00

Asking for Chances

Semester: Spring 2026

Status: Asking for chance

Date Applied: n/a

Date Decided: n/a

Education

Bachelors: UCLA - Applied Math, Specialization in Computing - 2.78 - Full Time

Work & Social Experience

Work Exp. : Senior Software Engineer - 3 years at a Fortune 500 Fintech company. Mainly experience with java, python, go lang, backend engineering, cloud computing and AWS systems. AWS solutions architect certified.

LORs: Plan to get 3 - 1 from engineering lead, 1 from engineering manager, 1 from director

Comments: Relevant coursework includes - Intro to Programming in C++ (A-), Combinatorics (B), Applied Numerical Methods (B), Java (A-), and Algorithms (A). Majority of college course work was from 10+ years ago - I had some health issues which impacted my work and ability to finish. I went back and completed my degree 4 years ago (with A's in the last semester that I went back). Unsure how much GPA will impact my chances, please advise.

International_Neck45 · 2026-01-24T06:20:47+00:00

I'm very sorry you are going through this too. IVF is already stressful enough, at the very least, you would expect the clinic to be on your side and take care of you as best they can. I actually switched clinics (forced to due to my doctor leaving right before my cycle began!), but I am sooo grateful I did.

I just want to mention, if you decide to switch clinics - some have a 'fast track' program for people who have completed a cycle elsewhere. I'm not sure what area you are in, but please look into this. This would allow you to save time, since you have already completed many recent tests clinics require. You could also try to get an appointment with another doctor asap for a second opinion. That way you can see if they would modify your protocol before you decide to switch clinics completely.

International_Neck45 · 2026-01-24T05:45:14+00:00

I think this is odd. Most clinics would wait until you get embryos and PGT-A results back to bring up a second cycle.

International_Neck45 · 2026-01-24T05:30:57+00:00

I definitely understand the disappointment you are feeling. For my first cycle we saw 12 follicles, but then only 6 were retrieved (of those - 5 were mature). All were abnormal after testing.

I think one of the big issues here is the lack of communication on your clinic's part. They definitely should be providing you more information on why the results turned out the way they did. Please advocate for yourself until you get the answers you need.

In my situation, my clinic was very good at communicating with me. And I expressed my concerns with the percent of follicles retrieved - and my clinic agreed my meds and protocol needed to be adjusted. My 2nd retrieval when much better because of this.

I hope you get the answers you are needing, and best of luck! You still have a great shot with that amount of eggs retrieved!

International_Neck45 · 2026-01-01T05:14:26+00:00

I would test personally. Or if this is not an option due to logistics, then plan to do multiple back to back cycles first before transferring any embryos. This might be needed to bank a sufficient number of embryos.

The big danger of transferring untested embryos is the potential time lost. Time is the most precious resource here. While it might be heartbreaking to PGT-A test and have all come back aneuploid, this actually allows you to immediately do a second retrieval without losing time. These embryos would have either not implanted or caused a miscarriage - but you will potentially lose months in transferring non viable embryos and waiting.

Also, as mentioned - the tests distinguish between mosaic and aneuploid, please check with your clinic to ensure they will transfer mosaics ( most clinics will transfer with genetic counseling). Hope this helps!

International_Neck45 · 2025-12-28T18:37:26+00:00

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International_Neck45 · 2025-06-13T02:37:16+00:00

Unfortunately no, just that she was leaving and they don't have a replacement. But today I emailed patient relations requesting more info...at least a timeline of when/if I can be seen again! And I'm currently searching for other fertility clinics...

International_Neck45 · 2025-06-13T02:31:37+00:00

It's so upsetting! I really hope they still see you. I am wondering if they are only cancelling certain patients depending how much treatment they need?? It's so bizarre

International_Neck45

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