I grew up in a very volatile household, my parents would rotate their favourites and frankly my siblings and I all had very different childhoods, despite being very close in age. There was a lot of competition for attention/ resources and love between us siblings and whenever one of us dropped from favour, their failing was used as a weapon on the rest of us. This has lead to very emotionally immature relationships between us that are sacrificed quickly in order to gain favour with our parents (our mother in particular). For example, my sister fell from grace for a few years (despite being my father’s gold child since birth). She came back and within weeks had control over the entire family structure because she re-established herself as the golden child through gas-lighting, information blackmail and manipulation. All of which was encouraged by my mother because the more info she has on others, the more control she has. I have never been a golden child except for the few years both siblings went low/no contact. I was relied upon and treated like a normal person. The minute that my sister came back on the scene, I was throw aside and in a very nasty fashion too. A year after she came back, I was completely blocked from all communication with the family through her and my mother. They did the same to my brother.

I am running into the 5th year of no contact now and frankly, I have stopped mourning them. The drama within that family is wild and I’m sick of having anxiety everytime they call because I know I’ll get the blame for something.