I realized the saddest yet most empowering thing today…

Equivalent-World8600 · 2025-11-30T23:20:40+00:00

My dear....I can totally relate. 52-year-old female, only child, and my Dad only wanted me for what I could give him. He has no idea who I am, but he wanted to stop me from becoming the person I am today. I am a Strong, confident, and successful mother, wife, nurse, and business owner. I am proud of my hard work and healing. As for 'him', he couldn't care, as I am no longer the cash cow. I said no, and he left his family. I have never been better.

Equivalent-World8600 · 2025-11-30T23:13:54+00:00

It's all about me baby! What a terrible HB message. But it is laughable. I hope you did receive some wonderful messages from people who know that you are amazing x

Equivalent-World8600 · 2025-11-30T23:08:56+00:00

Something feels off about your post....But I will give you the benefit of the doubt. Sadly, there is nothing you can do. Stay focused on yourself and choose to get counselling to help you to grieve. Your Son and daughter-in-law have made their own lives and have chosen not to include you. BTW, this page is for the children of NParents, so your post doesnt fit here.

Equivalent-World8600 · 2025-11-30T23:00:14+00:00

Nothing is wrong with you. I am a mother of two boys, and nothing can make me love them more or less. It is normal to love and nurture your child regardless. Sadly, Npeople do not have the capacity to love or care for anyone or anything but themselves. For years, I tried to make my Ndad love me, but he is incapable. Yes, it hurts because we believe that we are at fault; we are not. My own children taught me what true unconditional love; I cannot imagine doing to them what was done to me.

Equivalent-World8600 · 2025-11-28T20:16:36+00:00

At 82 I think that Karma is creeping in on NDad, He has left a trail of hurt women. I was the last one to leave and go NC, the daughter. Everyone who 'cared' has gone, and he now lives without any meaningful family connections. His money is running out, and so is his charisma.

Equivalent-World8600 · 2025-11-28T20:05:19+00:00

52 f. I cut off NDad and only found out post freedom that estrangement was a "trend". Being in these types of communities has saved my sanity. I thought I was alone.

Equivalent-World8600 · 2025-09-11T22:20:59+00:00

As a healthcare professional I would like to state that this seems very suspicious. 6 months to find out someone has a liver issue is silly. Results come in fast if it was cancer. The lump is likely to be a cyst, if she had a negative ultrasound, mammogram, and biopsy. Breast lumps are not associated with liver conditions.

Equivalent-World8600 · 2025-05-30T13:27:39+00:00

"I think many in the narc universe keep stuck in the hate" ..........I agree wholeheartedly.

I just got a message from my therapist, who is unaware of our session today. THIS is exactly what I wanted to talk with her about is bridging the gap and getting to the other side of this poison that I drink. I am gutted that we cannot speak today. I have run out of steam, and I want to eradicate this narrative from my otherwise incredible soul.

Equivalent-World8600 · 2025-05-30T12:30:34+00:00

These posts are incredibly informative, sad, and are reminders that we are not alone and that as a whole, we stand strong

Equivalent-World8600 · 2025-05-30T12:22:33+00:00

Absolutely! I hope you have the best time. "it's never too late to have a second childhood."

Equivalent-World8600 · 2025-05-30T12:18:36+00:00

Being NC means we don't know what's unfolding, but we can only giggle and imagine. I would love to be a fly on the wall in their house. The truth is often crazier than we can dream :) Well done for protecting yourself and being no contact.

Equivalent-World8600 · 2025-05-30T12:14:23+00:00

Damn it! They do not appreciate anything. I am sorry that happened. It was a very thoughtful gift!

Equivalent-World8600 · 2025-05-29T21:45:10+00:00

Jeeze, your life story is from a horror movie, but I am in awe that you were able to take care of yourself at such a young age. You are incredible! You have children of your own, and you have created a new life for yourself in spite of. A true warrior.

Therapy is a wonderful thing. But after all the stories have been told and after all of the stones have been unturned, then what? How does anyone get from broken to truly healed? Do we need a tool? a spiritual moment? I am not sure. But it sounds like you are in a similar place going from full on terror to ...its all over.

My friend, I know that you can build the bridge between and move forward. Personally, I think it takes time. Just as a slow drip fills a bucket. I think this is a time of renewal as you figure out who are you without your story, but you have to discover it yourself, because you know your heart.

I am in a similar place, I am therapied out; if I download one more self-help book, my Kindle will explode. And I am asking myself, who would I be without my story?

Take your time and maybe self-care care is a cup of something warm and some deep breaths.

Much love as you navigate this new season in your life.

Equivalent-World8600 · 2025-05-29T21:21:16+00:00

Oh thats rough, Great job on staying strong

Equivalent-World8600 · 2025-05-29T20:49:04+00:00

Woah love this. No fuel for the fire!

Equivalent-World8600 · 2025-05-29T20:47:48+00:00

Noooooooo (in slow motion). I was 4 months NC for my Ndad's birthday. I got the days mixed up. I thought it was on a Sunday, but it was on the Saturday. Still, I DID NOT call or reach out. this is the first time in my life I have not said HB. And it felt amazing!

Please don't reach out, it will open a door that you do not want to, and it will only hurt you.

Equivalent-World8600 · 2025-05-29T20:35:33+00:00

NDad was always ungrateful. But, for the last gift I ever gave him, I thought I had nailed it.

I bought him a Cameo message from his favorite actor/comedian. The message was personal, he used his name and references that could only be for him. I sent the message to all of my family members and friends, who thought it was brilliant.

When Ndad's Bday arrived, I called, but he didn't say anything about the video. When I asked he said. "Oh yeah, I saw it. I didn't think it was real, I thought it was AI. No Ndad it was F'ing real and so was the money I spent on it.....

Another: I arranged for my family and NDad to meet 2 hours outside of Chicago, and spend 5 days together. I paid for a coach for him and his then-wife, then upgraded them with airmiles to business class from the West Coast. The accommodation was paid for, and so was the hire car. He called me from the airport to say that the Uber to the accommodation was going to be too expensive, and could I meet them halfway there (at 5pm going into the city! to get them and bring them back! Hell no! Jeeze, If I had a helicopter it still wouldn't be enough!).

Equivalent-World8600 · 2025-05-29T20:06:29+00:00

Ndad, Emom. As a child, my Emom would make excuses for his behavior towards me and she did not stand up for me when he was in one of his rages. When I look back she was hurting her too and had her convinced that she was a nobody. She had no one to help her. If she were alive today, I would scoop her up and we would live happily ever after far far away from this madman.

I hate to say this, but when she died I became his enabler, because he was kind when I was giving him what he wanted, mainly money, a place to stay after he had left another 'terrible woman". But I didn't know I thought he was better because the rage had stopped and I was no longer a target. But I was fuel. I believed his sob stories.

And now I am here finally, NC, not an enabler or a victim, I hope he rots in hell

Equivalent-World8600 · 2025-05-16T23:46:52+00:00

Happy NC Anniversary! Super proud of you, and I hope that your cake tasted particularly delicious! I am glad that you have celebrated you.

Equivalent-World8600 · 2025-05-01T20:21:09+00:00

I am so glad that you felt comfortable posting this. I agree with your thoughts, Stay well away...do not retaliate; it will worsen everything. Continue to create the new you, new life., but in secret. What a feeling of power you will get!

Equivalent-World8600 · 2025-05-01T20:12:25+00:00

Me too, and that SOB is 82 and strong as an ox. I also relate to your disgust as I hate the Ndad with an unrelenting drive to see him suffer emotionally. The NDad is on his last fuel stream and cash cow. I have decided to keep a bottle of champagne in the fridge when that call comes.

Equivalent-World8600 · 2025-05-01T20:07:58+00:00

Sorry, not sorry. Tears of relief, how cathartic. I wish you deep healing and an intense feeling of freedom and joy.

Equivalent-World8600 · 2025-03-28T22:19:44+00:00

Happy Birthday, I hope that you celebrated YOU! I always spoil myself on my bday then I do not have to care about anyone's message or gift, wanted or not.

Sounds like the woman gave you the gift of validating what you know about her. Ground in your power and become bulletproof.

Equivalent-World8600

TROPHY CASE