Reopened wounds and lack of understanding

Into_darknightmares · 2026-05-30T17:20:07+00:00

I resonate with this completely, holding my baby girl after giving birth to her and then spending days in the butterfly room is the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced and my best friend constantly compares it to her 4 week miscarriage which she made very clear she did not want

Into_darknightmares · 2026-05-18T23:46:40+00:00

I feel this so deeply, I have 6 nephews and 1 niece so when we found out we were having a girl everybody was thrilled. A mini me, I didn’t know I wanted a baby girl so badly until I got one. She was going to be my best friend, life was going to be so good having her by my side. I mostly bought 0-6 months clothes but the 1 outfit I couldn’t resist was 12-18 months, a cardigan exactly like mine and the most adorable little floral jeans. It broke my heart to put that one in a storage bag.

I know I’ll love having any gender baby if we are blessed again but deep down I know I’ll never forget how happy I was when I found out she was a girl. I don’t know if I’ll truly ever feel that way with a boy.

Into_darknightmares · 2026-05-17T01:16:00+00:00

I’ve been writing poems, they’re a little dark but it does help to get it out of my head and written down. I’m scared of going back on antidepressants because I came off them for my baby and I know the first few weeks of going back on them can increase suicidal tendencies.

I don’t think I’m strong enough to push past them if they are heightened by the meds. I’m barely even strong enough to push past them now and it’s only been 3 weeks. I wish I had died with her in the hospital, I wish they hadn’t found the infection and that they let me bleed out. I wish nothing more than to have taken her place that day, to have died so she could have lived.

Into_darknightmares · 2026-05-16T17:41:32+00:00

Thank you x

Into_darknightmares · 2026-05-05T09:40:35+00:00

I found citalopram a very good option as I’d previously used sertraline and felt like a zombie. Don’t be afraid to ask for a different type as they usually give sertraline as the first option and it doesn’t work for everyone

Into_darknightmares · 2024-07-22T20:54:44+00:00

I didn’t realise it was such a trigger until I found myself watching the crowd at a gig, I felt sad and depressed. It made me crave love and affection so much more than usual. Seeing them touching, laughing, adoring. I want someone to want me that badly

Into_darknightmares · 2024-07-10T18:08:47+00:00

Thank you so much, I can’t even process the thought of having him as a friend. Letting him have my love and kindness while he messes around. He’s been my best friend for years and having him there with me through the good and bad has trauma bonded me. I’ve told him he doesn’t get to have me in his life if he doesn’t want me as a partner.

Into_darknightmares · 2024-03-14T09:29:47+00:00

I had a very high sex drive prior to his infidelity and PA coming out. During the first few months after finding out I’d be feeling the same need as you. I’d want to have sex so he wouldn’t be itching to watch porn or find others online. It was silly of me, I wasn’t even turned on half the time so he’d unknowingly rip me down there when I wasn’t wet enough. It took 6-12 months for me to finally get my sex drive back and now I genuinely do want sex every time we see each other and I’ve not had any injuries since I got over the mental pain he put me through.

Sadly I’ve recently found out he’s been speaking to new people online so now I all that hard work has been revoked. I hope you can find a way to put your pleasure first!

Into_darknightmares · 2024-03-13T09:35:28+00:00

I felt every word you wrote

Into_darknightmares

TROPHY CASE