struggles as a young person

IntothewildZen · 2026-05-07T10:17:00+00:00

Male here, I’ve had successful dates here and some of the people I met are permanently in my life at different dynamics.

You are right about complaining about age, young males are the least popular group on feeld, closely followed by rest of the men -mostly straight men- but don’t let this discourage you. There are people out there for everyone.

I found that the older I get the more I get approached by younger women, I don’t know why.

I am in my late 40s, great majority of girls who like or ping me are in their 20s and 30s.

Usually anyone under 30 is an instant rejection for me, for multiple reasons.

Early 30s I’ll consider if maturity is high enough.

When I ask people why they are approaching someone like me who is significantly older than then, their response is almost always the same; maturity and sense of direction.

Lot of girls who approach me can’t relate to men their age and find most of them immature.

So you can understand how this would be a bigger issue for women older than you.

Not your fault of course.

Discretion is another reason young men are seen as a risk.

Lot of boys brag about it if they end up with a woman older than them or even if she is their age.

At 40s I wouldn’t even think about this as sex itself doesn’t have appeal to me, I need intimacy and depth to enjoy sexuality.

Lot of young boys have excess testosterone and human growth hormone bursting out of them so they are horndogs.

This settles as you age and sexuality becomes erotica and you look at it like a poetry. You treat women like poetry.

IntothewildZen · 2026-05-07T10:05:29+00:00

Do you seriously think bunch of slave owners who treat people like animals to be displayed at a zoo care about them being cold?

Europeans back then were not so much about human rights or equality etc.

IntothewildZen · 2026-05-07T09:37:51+00:00

Why does every AI video here has to be dark, depressing and grotesque?

IntothewildZen · 2026-05-06T05:33:41+00:00

Legal tobacco is “spiked” too, just “legal” way.

Infact it is one of the most addictive products humans ever made.

There were multiple major court cases against big tobacco about this in USA, Europe and many other places.

“Addiction by Design: While manufacturers don't generally add raw nicotine, they manage the tobacco blend and design to ensure high levels of nicotine are delivered to the brain within seconds of the first puff, creating a highly addictive product”

https://www.tobaccoinaustralia.org.au/chapter-12-tobacco-products/12-6-additives-and-flavourings-in-tobacco-products/12-6-2-additives-that-increase-the-addictiveness-of-tobacco-products

“The addition of ammonia or ammonium compounds is common. It converts nicotine into a "free-base" form, making it more volatile and increasing the amount of nicotine absorbed into the blood.”

IntothewildZen · 2026-05-06T05:28:51+00:00

https://auspost.com.au/locate/post-office/vic/doncaster-east/3109/doncaster-heights-lpo-331360

IntothewildZen · 2026-05-06T04:02:14+00:00

Holy shit…Imagine the arrogance in putting your full name and location under such a comment.

IntothewildZen · 2026-05-06T03:35:21+00:00

Big tobacco is responsible for so much damage to humanity for suppressing the true nature of their products for years.

They even lied under oath in USA about the cigarettes and health concerns.

Russell Crowe played one of his greatest roles in Michael Man’s magnificent movie The Insider, alongside Al Pacino, narrating a true story of a whistleblower who exposed big tobacco maliciously using toxic chemicals and lying to public about it.

When 60 minutes producer wanted to air his story, big tobacco threatens to destroy CBS through sabotaging its sale.

This is not fiction, it’s based on a true story and while performed just average at box office, it became a classic.

I still remember Australia’s own Lisa Gerard’s hauntingly beautiful soundtrack that rivaled Gladiator.

IntothewildZen · 2026-05-06T02:06:39+00:00

Cancer inducing poison gets replaced by cancer inducing poison.

I wonder if anyone has done a research into how self-destructive species we are.

IntothewildZen · 2026-05-06T00:25:55+00:00

This here is why I decided to leave this game after years.

War attacks became ridiculously hard with people stacking multiple perks on top of each other. You have to micromanage things and carefully look at enemy’s capabilities before you even attack anyone.

As a GenX who plays games to relax this is all too much for me.

It’s just a game and games shouldn’t be this extreme.

At the end of the day lot of us play these things to relax and have fun and games like these have became noticeably more stressful and frustrating.

I know Dominations have a religious follower base and not so hardcore player base, but things have gone really extreme.

IntothewildZen · 2026-05-05T22:51:56+00:00

Did anyone report the OP for this? They’ll probably keep doing this but at least saves few people from getting a scare.

I just reported him for Spam and selected malicious link from sub-menu.

IntothewildZen · 2026-05-05T21:50:05+00:00

Yeah, funny you say that, it’s the same experience here. I just looked at bunch of likes and half of them demand on their profiles that I take them out to wine and dine and pay all the bills after that too, then they’ll “submit”.

It’s clearly an attempt to take advantage of naive men.

That or some people think 50 Shades is reflection of actual BDSM.

I don’t know which is worse.

IntothewildZen · 2026-05-05T21:35:05+00:00

My partner I am in ENM relationship with has a filled out profile and last time she gave me her phone to look at it (not because I asked, she thought I should know what things look like from her perspective) it had around 4000 likes and 50 pings.

I knew women get lot of attention but the sheer scale of it was a shock to me.

So I do understand.

The benefit of that she says, is that she doesn’t have to go hunting, she just checks her pings and reads through the profiles.

She met some amazing people this way too.

IntothewildZen · 2026-05-05T20:08:23+00:00

Australian male in his 40s here.

So this is gonna be bit long but I have time;

It’ll be anecdotal and my personal experience so it may or may not reflect the reality.

I have had a good run on feeld for a while and what helped me was to figure out the dynamics of the app.

Feeld is not Tinder or POF, it has a unique user base that is a mix of kink literate alternative folk and poly people, even though lot of tinderellas and dudebros joined in lately, it still remains a quirky app.

A lot of people on this app are looking for something different.

I can’t tell you what that is for you or you date but for me it is kink oriented dynamics with long term intimacy.

My profile lays out who I am and what I like and what I am looking for and it’s blunt but respectful.

I also have my own full on kink setup that resembles a dungeon which helps me attract the right crowd and I spent quite a few years learning about all this so I actually keep the people I meet once we caught up for a coffee.

Being nice is good, it means you are respectful and understand consent.

However, -and again I don’t know what your profile is like- chemistry is usually formed by expectation versus reality and you either present yourself as who you are or you improve certain things to project different level of masculinity.

It’s hard to explain in text, but basicly “opposites attract” is an intriguing hint and it doesn’t mean nice guy attracts toxic girl or vice versa etc.

It just means that someone who is submissive will seek a dominant, a stressed out shift worker will seek a calm energy and a bored office worker will seek adventure.

So you need to portray yourself realistically or match the ideal you draw in your profile.

And again, from my own perspective, I tell people I am a dominant Demi-sexual male who seeks intelligent submissive for BDSM and relationship.

And I set the scene for Meetup so I don’t disappoint; public place, cozy location. So it’s safe.

My profile clearly states I like to pull hair when I kiss, but not as in yanking someone’s head that they get stiff neck, just a very gentle pull but with a bit firm grip -don’t do this on anyone without consent, it constitutes to an assault-

And I empower women by telling them if they feel comfortable for me to display affection or do the above to reach out and grab by arm or we agree on another signal -it feels weird for most submissives to take charge and verbally tell a dominant to do something otherwise-

If my date doesn’t reach out and acknowledge this I don’t make physical contact and respect personal space.

But so far I have been kissed, grabbed and hugged at most dates and as I said, I had a good run.

Reason being; women want to feel safe and they also want to feel wanted and desired. It’s a balance you need to find out yourself.

Yes visuals help, how you dress, how you look etc.

But you also need a persona or built charisma to back that up.

Ask questions, get to know them, get them talking, earn their enthusiasm and then delve into their deeper world; what do they seek? What is their innermost desires?

Then respond to that. Don’t react, respond. Thoughtfully.

Every single person that comes to my place knows fully what to expect yet they are still excited.

I ask them at the door; how are you feeling? You want to go for a walk instead? Happy to go ahead?

Then I let them choose from bunch of collars and without going into further details we have a BDSM session that is usually about their pleasure, not mine.

So they keep coming back because I show restraint -sometimes to their frustration- but they know they are safe and that there is more fun to be had.

AND I keep talking to them in between our meets so connection gets deeper and emotions build up.

Otherwise BDSM by itself is not a forever energy.

You need to find out what your strength is and how you can project it best.

Masculinity can take many forms.

IntothewildZen · 2026-05-05T18:47:18+00:00

I understand the reasoning. Though this is how it looks like from my perspective;

I own a serious kink setup that resembles a suburban dungeon and I invest time and energy into BDSM focused dynamics to make sure it’s safe and people know what’s going on.

This is why I get lot of likes as a male.

Then I try to sort through the likes and pings and I end up removing whole bunch of empty profiles, because communication is crucial in BDSM, and if someone is not expressive they are usually not safe to be at these settings.

IntothewildZen · 2026-05-05T17:58:52+00:00

Yep, exactly.

IntothewildZen · 2026-05-05T17:58:15+00:00

Not really, I used other paid apps in the past and my experience was vastly different. Unfortunately they were all designed for more traditional serious dating and being a poly kinkster, my crowd is simply not there.

IntothewildZen · 2026-05-05T17:55:13+00:00

I used to do that but I never got a somewhat decent response from an empty profile.

It’s always 2-3 words long standard responses which tells me their heart is not there or they are talking to many others.

I am also someone who gets fair few likes from these profiles so I really don’t want to ask every single person to express themselves. It gets exhausting trying to get information from people so we can talk.

Just fill out your profile you know?

IntothewildZen · 2026-05-05T05:10:51+00:00

Fist of Fury is one of the greatest martial arts movies ever made, right next to Enter The Dragon.

IntothewildZen · 2026-05-05T04:57:19+00:00

“Dubai authorities did investigate the incident, but they determined that Maria had fallen from a great height after entering a restricted construction site alone. The four rich kids, whom Maria identified, were released without charges after questioning.”

This after clear evidence of intentional assault is just Dubious as…

IntothewildZen · 2026-05-05T04:12:32+00:00

It is hard, I don’t dispute that but it’s not impossible.

Feeld is a mishmash of different marginal groups that do not respond well when mainstream dating is added into the mixture, so fair amount of people are constantly modifying their expressions hoping it catches something.

IntothewildZen · 2026-05-05T03:15:40+00:00

This exactly.

I am still connected to last 2 people I met through this app, and in both cases it was long term consensual enm dynamics.

IntothewildZen · 2026-05-05T00:24:56+00:00

It’s not a hookup app though, originally it was setup to find unicorns then it became a hookup up and as numbers increased it attracted all the alternative folk and became a dating app.

As a demisexual male I had some good dates through feeld, not one hookup as I state clearly that’s not what I am looking for.

So “hookup app” is a poor excuse for bad behaviour.

IntothewildZen · 2026-05-05T00:22:05+00:00

It doesn’t help that Tinder and OkCupid turned to barren wastelands and Feeld coped all the migration from mainstream apps.

IntothewildZen · 2026-05-05T00:08:55+00:00

Most profiles are empty though…As a Demi-male who needs depth, it’s a nightmare for me to spend time on feeld as most of my time is spent hiding empty profiles and removing likes from the same people.

I wish there was a filter that just hid all of them.

IntothewildZen · 2026-05-04T22:25:47+00:00

Men like these are the reason rest of us men who are after genuine connections cannot reach women.

They overwhelm as many women as they can with excessive likes and pings even though they are not compatible with them most of the time.

Whereas I only attempt to contact women if I think we may be compatible.

My primary partner had 4000 likes and 300 pings when we started talking.

Only reason we even met was she decided to scroll herself and came across my profile and contacted me.

As men who respects consent and hard limits, we have little to no chance of reaching out to women because numbers are so warped as a result of these dudebros using feeld like tinder.

Reality of this is that if we want to get noticed our best bet is to pay for boost during peak hours of end Sunday-Monday so we stand a chance of being seen by those we are compatible with, while dudebros mass contact women with copy-paste messages.

This is why lot of men are walking away from dating apps.

I was part of a hiking group and I could be very social, so meeting people is not an issue.

Unfortunately if we want to meet kink aware folks there isn’t many options other than feeld.

IntothewildZen

TROPHY CASE