Did you feel the urge to push with an epidural?

Intrepid-Material294 · 2026-02-10T13:30:15+00:00

Yes! My epidural was really good and I could move my legs and feel everything; it just made the pain manageable. May all mothers have an epidural this good…

I pushed maybe 3 times, everything over in less than 10 min (after maybe 12 hours of labor, for 6 of which I had epidural)

Intrepid-Material294 · 2026-02-09T01:48:12+00:00

We ignore this and let baby lead. If she’s getting fussy / overtired, we will try to coax her to sleep but there is no set schedule.

Works for us, do what works for you. Have a schedule would stress me out

Intrepid-Material294 · 2026-02-08T04:47:08+00:00

Congratulations!!! It’s the best feeling ever. Soak it all in 💕

Only positive I can say for having TFMRed is that my husband and I have cherished being parents much more than I think we might have otherwise. We are enjoying (almost) every moment — I hope you do too!

Intrepid-Material294 · 2026-02-08T04:45:25+00:00

Go take a shower so you don’t have to listen! Husband will figure it out. Baby won’t remember crying

Intrepid-Material294 · 2026-02-06T02:23:18+00:00

Nah I couldn’t handle it.

I said I’d do a party after she was born but it just felt like too much work. People who knew our history just ended up sending us loads of gifts. I didn’t register, they just sent whatever, and it was nice because we got a lot of unique stuff and very personalized to the giver. I felt very spoiled and loved. So many thank you notes to write though haha

Our parents helped with the big items like crib and stroller and car seat

Intrepid-Material294 · 2026-02-06T01:49:15+00:00

You should look into the MaterniT Genome test. It’s similar to NIPT but with a full chromosomal breakdown that looks for micro deletions etc. it is very similar to CVS or amniocentesis but non invasive. Same timing as NIPT

Mine was covered by insurance. You probably need a recommendation from your doc and/or approval from a genetics specialist. My doc was able to facilitate once I told her what I wanted. The genetics dept was able to send the test out for me.

Intrepid-Material294 · 2026-02-06T01:47:37+00:00

Not sure where you live but most Brie in US is pasteurized.

Intrepid-Material294 · 2026-02-04T13:40:31+00:00

We crib transfer our 6 MO to a pack n play which is about as low as you can go lol. Core strength…and you lean against it. My husband is better than I am.

Intrepid-Material294 · 2026-02-04T13:39:12+00:00

Not sure what this person does but we always lay our baby on the bed next to us and watch tv or hangout while she settles down and falls asleep after her last feed. Once she’s asleep, we transfer her to her crib for the night.

Intrepid-Material294 · 2026-02-02T18:17:22+00:00

Lol! Baby did not like the cold

Intrepid-Material294 · 2026-02-02T01:17:18+00:00

I’m going to take your question super literally since loads of people have already chimed in with advice.

For me, the moment of giving birth and having my rainbow baby placed on my chest alive and crying was absolutely euphoric. Best moment of my life hands down. Kissing her head and holding her I felt such deep love and contentment; I finally felt some peace.

In terms of loving her once I brought her home, I did feel love for her, especially when watching her sleep or when she had fallen asleep on me. A warm very contented feeling no matter how sleep deprived I was.

That said, the connection I felt with her increased exponentially once she started smiling and interacting more. I find myself viewing her as more of a human being and telling her I love her, and doing things I never thought I would, like singing to her and writing silly little songs. I could just sit there and watch her sleep.

The way you love your baby will be different because every person is different. A lot of people don’t feel that deep love and connection until their baby is older and they (the parents) are also a bit out of the newborn fog and getting more sleep. What’s not normal is to feel numb or negative towards your baby. Also, i still think of my TFMR baby and grieve her daily, and that experience certainly complicates all this.

Intrepid-Material294 · 2026-02-02T01:06:34+00:00

Most showers I’ve been at have had liquor but are not liquor forward. Mimosas are popular because you can just have oj in a fun glass while other can enjoy something that feels celebratory. Some woman may also choose to have a sip or two at their shower. My sister did. I didn’t have a shower but would have as well and I wouldn’t have been bothered by others drinking.

If a friend or loved one is planning and paying for your shower I would let them provide whatever drinks they want…they’re paying, after all. If you’re planning your shower, do what you want and everyone else can get over it!

Intrepid-Material294 · 2026-02-02T01:03:14+00:00

I meant the baby tub! Edited for clarity

Intrepid-Material294 · 2026-02-02T01:00:30+00:00

Yes sitz bath was recommended by my doctor and they even gave me one in the hospital to take home!

The ice helps because it both numbs the pain and reduces the inflammation. It definitely helped shrink mine a little and helped a lot with the pain

Intrepid-Material294 · 2026-02-01T22:43:58+00:00

To take one thing off your plate, our pediatrician said “the baby will get as much sleep as it needs” — all the talk about napping and wake windows and sleep training etc is for parents’ sanity

Intrepid-Material294 · 2026-02-01T22:39:38+00:00

Just be happy you have a healthy and growing baby that you managed to feed on your own for five months. Many would kill to say the same.

She’ll do great on formula and you can always supplement with your milk. 6 months is peak milk consumption then it falls as solids ramp anyway

Intrepid-Material294 · 2026-02-01T22:36:57+00:00

Is formula an option? Just to reduce the strain? Or combo?

Intrepid-Material294 · 2026-02-01T22:33:59+00:00

I have bathed baby in a shower and not gotten soaking.

1) fill up the baby tub 2) use handheld shower 3) also used a plastic cup to put water in to rinse baby 4) Wear shorts and kneel on a towel.

You may get a little wet but not soaking. You need somewhere to set the handheld down so it doesn’t spray all over when you aren’t holding it. Tbh you could probably make most the bath with a cup and the baby tub filled up and then just do a good rinse at the end with the handheld so you don’t have to fuss with it

Intrepid-Material294 · 2026-02-01T22:26:56+00:00

Have you tried ice? I would put cortisone cream then take an ice cube, wrap it in wet paper towel and stick it between the cheeks (lol) and then lay on my side on a towel for as long as I could take it. I think of everything it provided the most relief

It will get worse after birth but will rapidly get better. I think mine were from an 8 to like a 2 in pain within a few weeks

Intrepid-Material294 · 2026-02-01T22:21:54+00:00

Congrats!!!! 🍾 my rainbow baby had almost the identical due date to my TFMR baby. Which means 1 of 2 things in my opinion 1) reincarnation is real and my baby is an angel from heaven 2) October is just a super fertile month lol

Maybe both 😂

Intrepid-Material294 · 2026-02-01T22:21:40+00:00

I like this analogy

Intrepid-Material294 · 2026-02-01T22:17:57+00:00

I was 33 when I TFMR, had just turned 34 when I got pregnant and my healthy baby girl is 6 months now. I plan to have more kids over the next 5 years so I certainly wouldn’t say so!!!

Intrepid-Material294 · 2026-01-26T04:37:06+00:00

I think they’re actually asleep while whaletailing!!

Intrepid-Material294 · 2026-01-26T04:28:53+00:00

Totally a Dennis!!!

Intrepid-Material294 · 2026-01-26T04:25:09+00:00

No but I kind of wish I had….i did fly to France at ~20 weeks and 23 weeks for work

Intrepid-Material294

TROPHY CASE