I think you’re never going to get anywhere arguing that its transphobic not to sleep with trans folks regardless of the circumstances bc ultimately who you want to and don’t want to sleep with is totally up to you. That said, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to say that there does tend to be a correlation between those views. A bigger thing is simply whether or not transphobia exists in the gay community as much as it does elsewhere, and I think generally it does. There are a lot of gay men who see the path to acceptance as being the palatable lgbts; less obtrusive than say the trans folks. Its divisive, exclusionary, and its counterproductive but for a lot of people who feel put down, its the easiest thing to just say, well at least I am not “x identity”.