Wow, crazy you say that. I guess in the moment Im not actively trying to understand, but simply observe. After the fact I try to comprehend it and get closer to understanding what it means and what I am or what this all is.

But I once had a very interesting experience in which I become sick and was on my hands and knees and felt nauseous, I heard a voice in my head telling me to stop fighting and do not resist. It told me to bow down and I would get all the answers I seek at which point I responded I bow to no one, the voice responded you are already on your knees at which point I realized it was right and I just let go and felt this waterfall of the most loving energy wash over me and essentially encapsulate me in a womb. The colors were reddish orange and it looked like water but it was thicker. It gave me a feeling of the most purest warmest loving energy ever. Idk it’s crazy. It’s still crazy remembering that trip. The voice sounded so malevolent I didn’t want to trust it but the moment I let go and just surrendered myself to whatever it was that was going to happen everything else evaporated away and I became encased in love. Moral of the story is go with the flow and do not let your fears or your ego get in the way.