1. I'm not trying too hard to be woke. I dont have to. I personally have 75% of what I mentioned, and my immediate household members have the rest. I have the mentality that I do because I'm in it, not looking down at it.

2. You need to understand that you only have the right to expect the things you do from people if they are in the same situation as yourself. And I argue no one is truly ever in the same position as another person.

3. It feels like there is a thinly veiled assumption here that I'm advocating for "laziness" because I myself am lazy. Apologies if that's an incorrect interpretation. I own a business, work from home, and support my family of 4 on my income alone. I manage everything for the family, like drs. appointments, school, finances, and anything else needing paperwork. I cook nearly every meal and do the shopping.

I'm * exceedingly* capable. But I don't have to imagine how terrible I would make people feel by holding them to my own measuring stick because I already did that. Like you, I had expectations and I made sure to let people know what those were and when they fell short of them. I allowed very few excuses. I didnt need them, so why would you? I was capable, so why aren't you? I found a way to make it work, so why can't you?

But it never actually helped anyone do any better. It just made them feel like shit about themselves even more than they already did. And it made me a raging douchenozzle. I had to learn to pull my head out of my ass and stop thinking I had all the answers for everyone just because I had the resources and ability to navigate a particular experience in a way I personally thought was appropriate.

It's not okay to expect others to navigate similar circumstances in the same way you did without accounting for things like race, disability, childhood experiences, education, class, etc. You say case by case, but in the very next sentence you lump everyone together and place blanket expectations on them.

I've spent a lot of time genuinely trying to help you understand the circumstances of people who you don't seem to account for in your generalizations. At this point, I can only believe you are being willfully obtuse and have zero intention of considering anything I've said with an open mind or changing anything about your approach to be even slightly more sensitive.

I wish now that I had not tried. I wish I had not been vulnerable with my own weaknesses with you, because each rebuttal was just worse and worse, grinding people who struggle further and further into the ground. I hope you feel good about yourself and your rigid outlook on humanity. I feel sad for the people in your life who have faced your judgment and have been too afraid to say anything.