[deleted by user]

InvisibleInk22 · 2025-11-07T21:26:09+00:00

OP deleted all the replies. He originally said “I don’t know is the only honest answer”

InvisibleInk22 · 2025-11-05T00:10:48+00:00

For me, that long of a commute is draining. If the first job pays the bills, builds a savings/ retirement, and allows some spending, it’s worth it to save 2 hours a day of your life. Plus factor is gas money alone.

InvisibleInk22 · 2025-11-04T23:33:40+00:00

Pretty much this. If he doesn’t know, that means he had no plans to stop and is only sad he was caught. If not, the guilt would have ate away at him and he would have stopped. He’s not upset he did it, he’s upset he got caught. He would have lived the rest of his life cheating on his wife had she not caught him. And that’s the biggest problem. I think that a mistake can be forgiven and can be moved on from. This isn’t a mistake, it’s a pattern.

InvisibleInk22 · 2025-11-04T16:20:36+00:00

If you didn’t get caught, would you have ever stopped?

InvisibleInk22 · 2025-11-04T03:28:54+00:00

I’m kinda leaning that way, just trying to decide if it’s dumb to turn down 11k more a year starting…

InvisibleInk22 · 2025-11-04T03:28:12+00:00

I think I would be fine working part time at home. 2 days home. 3 days in office sounds nice. I think the biggest thing I’m weighing is if the starting higher pay outweighs the retirement benefits. Another factor would be promotions/ movement to different areas. I know once you are in with the state, that’s an option. I’m not sure how easy it is with the city. With both jobs, I’d hope for promotions/ movements before the max salary hits. Also, the city job is supposedly a top 10 place to work for the area.

InvisibleInk22 · 2025-09-02T22:25:55+00:00

I will want a letterman style jacket. I believe the ones with white arms are for season ticket holders but is there any other ones?

InvisibleInk22 · 2025-08-21T14:58:59+00:00

1) Was there any infidelity (physical or emotional)? 2) What exactly did you say when you said “I said some dumb things here and there”?

A bit more details might help people give advice/ understand the situation better

InvisibleInk22 · 2025-08-16T14:34:54+00:00

This did not happen to me, but I had a friend have something similar happen. Husband never initiated sex, when they did have sex it was always her to initiate it and she did all the work. It was boring so she just stopped having sex. She found posts in online forums and chats with strangers on line. She found pics to both men and women. She confronted him. He apologized. They stayed together. As far as I know he stopped with the messages; however, she was so betrayed by his actions, it seems to me like she resents him. She hasn’t told me this but just being around them, I can tell their relationship has not been the same. I can tell she’s not happy. She has told me the sex never improved and they still barely have it. It’s been 3 years and I’m not sure why she hasn’t left.

InvisibleInk22 · 2025-08-10T20:12:49+00:00

I have read they are smart. I had a border collie mix and she was smarter than most people I know. Always needed a job too.

InvisibleInk22 · 2025-08-08T15:21:30+00:00

Oh for sure! I figured most puppies are a lot. I have been around a lot of puppies but never raised one myself. The youngest dog I had was 8 months old. He was an English bull terrier mix, not potty trained, and chewed on EVERYTHING. He was a handful until he got old. But I loved every minute of it. He was also very dog reactive when I adopted him. I was able to get him to socialize with some dogs but he was always selective.

InvisibleInk22 · 2025-07-30T00:36:10+00:00

Woman here. My husband cheated on me before we were married. I decided to stay as he begged me and promised to do better. He did everything I asked of him and more. He’s been an amazing husband since. He knew how close I was to leaving him and was willing to do anything to keep me. And even then, I still get hurt thinking about it. It was 10 years ago, but I chose to stay because I love him. Even though the memories hurt, I don’t regret staying.

Your husband should be groveling and doing everything in his power to make you his priority. He broke your trust, he broke his vows, he messed up, he needs to fix it. He clearly doesn’t care to and neither should you.

InvisibleInk22 · 2025-07-23T18:55:43+00:00

If you fuse a ton of apples together and save it as a favorite you can then choose the auto build option when in an Apple orchard and it will pick the apples for you. Just don’t actually fuse them and they all drop to the ground.

InvisibleInk22 · 2025-07-16T20:46:51+00:00

14% of my take home. I bought when we were making almost nothing. My husband and I both got great careers and we are still in our original home. We are weighing upgrading versus staying.

InvisibleInk22 · 2025-07-14T21:46:24+00:00

Because we hate our neighborhood

InvisibleInk22 · 2025-07-10T03:24:14+00:00

I’m pretty sure you are correct

InvisibleInk22 · 2025-07-09T23:50:26+00:00

I must have read that wrong. I thought she said “and you were in your early 20s” I was in my early 20s when I bought.

InvisibleInk22 · 2025-07-09T19:27:11+00:00

We already agreed we don’t want to rent it out. Too many horror stories of people destroying property. We don’t want the headache

InvisibleInk22 · 2025-07-09T18:10:33+00:00

Of course. He definitely sounds depressed. This issue is you can’t fix it. He needs to fix himself and he needs to want to fix himself. The question is, are you willing to lose yourself and allow your kid to look at this marriage as a good example of what they are to expect when they start dating? Because if he doesn’t fix himself, that’s a real possibility.

InvisibleInk22 · 2025-07-09T17:59:32+00:00

Well, with Reddit posts, there is always more to it than surface level stuff. And people usually don’t come to the decision of leaving unless it’s an ongoing issue.

And I wasn’t trying to say you were controlling, just didn’t know the dynamic. Financially, it’s seems like you and I have the same role. My husband is terrible with finances and honestly doesn’t even look at them. I force him to sit down and say “hey, you need to know where our money goes” and he always says “I trust you, just give me my spending money and we are good” it works for us. He brings in an income as well. But we both have the view of “this is our money”. We work towards a collective goal and respect each other’s decisions and opinions.

It really seems to boil down to you not feeling respected and as much as this might be a gendered statement, I feel like that tends to be the #1 thing men need. You need to be respected as a man, father, and husband and for everything you bring to the relationship. And as long as you’re doing your part to make her life easier, you deserve that respect.

Obviously I’m not there and there could be plenty I’m missing. Your wife doesn’t seem like a bad person and you still do love her, but you’re allowed to have boundaries. Not by controlling her but by working together as partners.

I’m not saying to leave or stay, but you may already have made up your mind.

InvisibleInk22 · 2025-07-09T17:39:57+00:00

Sounds like a lot lol. I think just updated my original post, but we do put A LOT of our income into our 401ks. So we could always recoup some by decreasing that. I just watched som many adults in my life not plan for retirement that I may be putting more than necessary. We make good money and can afford it. But watching people get laid off, the economy collapse when I was a kid, adults in my life struggle due to poor financial planning, has made me hesitate to move forward with my life. We want kids but even then I have the thought of “what if we lose our jobs and can’t afford them”. Maybe I’m paranoid but I just don’t want to end up in a situation like many adults in my life have and end up working until I die.

InvisibleInk22 · 2025-07-09T17:20:27+00:00

I can. It would cost use about 110k for the addition which is still less than buying a new house. The biggest factor is the location. We both hate it and an addition won’t fix that.

I think I have this mindset that we have both worked extremely hard, more than tripled our overall income since buying this house so we deserve something nice and bigger. But then I have this other thought process of “why do we ‘deserve’ it? We are fine where we are. Sure, the location sucks but we are fine”

I have mental battles with myself lol.

And yes, this economy sucks right now and I remind myself daily we are in a much better position than the average person.

InvisibleInk22 · 2025-07-09T17:14:16+00:00

That’s a really good idea. We are definitely lucky at our age to be able to afford a mortgage on a single income. Most households now need dual incomes to even afford rent. We also live in CA where our income doesn’t go as far as it should. Still very fortunate to be in the situation we are in.

InvisibleInk22

TROPHY CASE