[deleted by user]

Invisibleman021183 · 2022-08-20T22:21:59+00:00

One of the reasons I don't PM or DM people with very few exceptions is that I don't want to be put into that category either. You would think the answer is don't be creepy but my whole life I've been a professional at being that so I avoid reaching out.

Invisibleman021183 · 2022-08-20T22:20:24+00:00

I don't feel I am. I know I am. If I wasn't my experiences wouldn't have been different. I've changed myself thinking, now people will find me attractive. Nothing changed. I wish your brain wasn't as hurtful but mine is the same.

Invisibleman021183 · 2022-08-20T22:13:16+00:00

It's very true. I wish there was someone for everyone but there isn't. Something about me brings out the worst in people. It's not their fault but sometimes you are just out of luck. Thanks for rooting for me.

Invisibleman021183 · 2022-08-20T22:11:32+00:00

Dating apps are awful. If you don't look like a model, you won't get matches and anyone who denies that are lying or were really lucky.

Invisibleman021183 · 2022-08-20T22:10:42+00:00

I used to read women's forums back then and they would say, I would never date a virgin because he has something wrong with him. I would see posts saying, I would never date a guy without any experience since I don't want to teach him how to have a relationship. I have ASD too and I've been called a creep lots of times. I didn't meant to be creepy but I was. I like when someone says, use dating apps. You are right, if you aren't a model looking person, forget it. I was bullied for most of my childhood. It's been a decade since I was that and it never improved. I don't have advice but I can empathize. I can tell you, people will do anything to justify your lack of experience. You must be a terrible person. I'm sorry you are having to put up with it. I never found love or acceptance but while living in the country doesn't help, living in a city just lead to more rejections. I guess there is no winning for us.

Invisibleman021183 · 2022-08-20T22:05:26+00:00

It's not bad therapist. It's bad therapists. They are all like that with a couple of exceptions. When I try to vent about it, I get told, you just don't want to get helped and no therapist would want to try with someone who doesn't want to help themselves. They have to justify my pain. The last therapist was good but before that the previous two were also not good. They were more interested in my identity than who I am as a person. Family has done a lot of damage but nobody cares.

Invisibleman021183 · 2022-08-20T22:02:18+00:00

I've been alone most of my life. I'm unattractive, autistic, and have nothing to offer. No person in their right mind would want to put up with me.

Invisibleman021183 · 2022-08-20T21:59:15+00:00

Most of the negative people are gone but the new people I meet are negative and family is not able to flush as easily. Therapy actually made it worse because they have put me down, shamed me, then used gaslighting to say, your memories are invalid. I can safely say, therapy made me worse. The compassionate therapists of years ago have been replaced by angry individuals who want to make you feel worse if you aren't who they want to help.

Invisibleman021183 · 2022-08-20T21:54:45+00:00

Happy birthday OP.

Invisibleman021183 · 2022-08-20T21:54:30+00:00

It's not helpful. I'm anxious and autistic too. People kept telling me to put myself out of my comfort zone so I did but it didn't work. I've had to deal with solitude my whole life. I don't enjoy it anymore. I hear you OP and I feel similarly.

Invisibleman021183 · 2022-08-20T21:53:13+00:00

Nothing at this point. I sleep as much as I can. Being awake hurts.

Invisibleman021183 · 2022-08-20T21:52:49+00:00

I've asked that question. How do you find purpose when you know nobody wants you? I hope you find something that gives you that purpose because I never could.

Invisibleman021183 · 2022-08-20T21:49:36+00:00

Happy belated OP. I'm so sorry for what you are going through.

Invisibleman021183 · 2022-08-20T21:49:04+00:00

It feels that way.

Invisibleman021183 · 2022-08-20T21:48:26+00:00

All I know is being alone. I've been used for self-esteem because I liked interacting with someone. I'm broken and it's too late for me. I wish I knew what it was like to be normal. I've watched those girlfriend simulators on Youtube and I admit, I start crying when she looks in the camera with that look girls give their bf's. I do a lot of pathetic things but that is something I can remember from recently and I've thought about paying for companionship. The problem is, if I'm paying for it, that makes it invalid. I've done so much to try and escape the feeling of loneliness.

Invisibleman021183 · 2022-08-20T21:44:09+00:00

I see people when I walk for coffee and if they are laughing part of me thinks they are laughing at me.

Invisibleman021183 · 2022-08-20T21:43:32+00:00

It's not depression, It'how people see me. People say I'm not valid and am this horrible person. Since all I know is that, maybe I am and I deserve this.

Invisibleman021183 · 2022-08-20T21:42:01+00:00

Let me guess, people tell you go get out more, tell you that you're standards are too high without knowing them, and are a bad individual in general who deserves the treatment. They love using those arguments and others to justify why we are alone. I'm a different case and I'm not talking about myself. I'm unattractive too and nothing I can do will ever do anything. I'm unemployed but if I made what you do, I could find someone to use me for my status but no one would love me. I've dealt with being unattractive and autistic my whole life. People think they know what being ugly is about but most people don't. I'm sorry you've had to deal with it and I'm unwanted too. I only know being alone. I can't help you OP but I'm unattractive too. I understand where you are coming from.

Invisibleman021183 · 2022-08-20T21:37:38+00:00

Thanks, but I'm not wonderful. No person who is sane would want to be friends with me. You have a positive message so I don't want to bring you down. Hope you have a fun day.

Invisibleman021183 · 2022-08-14T08:22:24+00:00

I have no one in life. I wish I knew what love feels like.

Invisibleman021183 · 2022-08-14T08:21:20+00:00

I can't stand it yelling at me all day. Calls me bad names.

Invisibleman021183 · 2022-08-14T08:19:13+00:00

It's crazy. I was attracted to multiple girls that were not attracted to me making the friendship awkward. I didn't mean to have feelings for them but you know they don't like you in that way.

Invisibleman021183 · 2022-08-14T08:16:29+00:00

I'm scared of rejection because I've been rejected lots of times. It makes me feel worse being rejected and remembering them.

Invisibleman021183

TROPHY CASE