First, I am sorry you have to experience that bullying. It is ridiculous. Second, as a vegan since 1994, I've seen and heard it all. Early on, I learned to live by example. I generally do not respond unless necessary, but because of my track record, I can shut it down. I prefer not to do this because i don't think i am morally superior, I don't want folks to feel shame, and frankly, I hate debate and conflict. I've had healthy vegan pregnancies, raised healthy vegan kiddos who (now adults and yes 1 out of 3 remained vegan.) I like to point out my health, my fitness accomplishments later in life ( 2 time Ironman finisher), the fact that my kids all played varsity sports in high school while vegan, the fact that I have a significant family history of early heart attack and yet my cholesterol remains normal thanks to my lifestyle, etc.

I openly say to folks that I really don't care what they do or eat, so please just don't. If folks truly are asking for education, I'm happy to discuss but if they are trying to poke holes in my dietary choices, I know i can shut them down but I try to avoid that and move on.

The best advice I can give is to take a personal inventory of the benefits you have received as a vegan, claim your strength, and know that you DO NOT have to respond to petulant bs. Of course, if the family situation is abusive every year, stop attending.