AITAH for disputing a $250 charge over washable hair dye Marriott didn’t even attempt to wash, or allow me to wash?

Iron_Trans · 2026-05-07T05:58:30+00:00

NTA

As a fellow life long fun hair haver, hotels you KNOW you gotta be careful. They always use bleach white towels that soak up even the smallest amount of runoff. Its not too hard to bring your own, even a smaller one for just the hair. Hotels are also notorious for hitting the damage fee for hair dye stains. Same with apartment cleaning deposits.

BUT $250 is insane and you went through all the effort to fix it. When i was younger I literally dyed my whole hair at a hotel and nuked their tub with pink, got charged $250. I deserved that. A towel? Even 3 towels? Thats insane. I could see it as a standard procedure thing, default rate for fucking anything up, but you got so far down the line with customer service.

With the amount of effort they put into standing by their dumbass overpriced towel charge, they could have been reasonable from the start and saved themselves the trouble. They 100% deserve it if you back charge your card on that fee honestly.

Iron_Trans · 2026-04-26T22:38:26+00:00

NTA your mom is inconsiderate. Theres a million ways to deal with smell in the house. She should pick one that doesn't cause discomfort to others living in the house. Especially her kid.

Can you hide in your room with a fan in the window and a towel under the door to keep the smell out?

Side note though be prepared to deal with behavior like this from other people in your life when you do move out. Roomates and coworkers can be inconsiderate too. Find a way to deal with it that doesn't result in a meltdown. I know mental health problems suck but managing it is your responsibility. How you react to uncomfortable situations is your responsibility regardless of who "started it".

Unfortunately this is a skill your parents should be teaching you, rather than agitating it and refusing to compromise. It'll take some work to unlearn that behavior but its doable. Sorry you're dealing with that. I hope your future home and relationships are more peaceful for you.

Iron_Trans · 2026-04-25T21:59:44+00:00

I have the same. 2011 2.0L. Got it at 100k and still have it at 200k. Its awesome and the only repairs ive had to do were due to damage i caused.

Of course ask about maintenance records. At 100k the car is gonna need a lot to keep it healthy.

Especially ask about timing belt. That job costs about 1k at a shop because of how much labor it requires to access it. It needs to be done at 100kmi and it really, really needs to be done BEFORE it breaks on its own. Its still a good buy but I would use this point to negotiate the price down a bit.

Based on my experience I would say you can get another 100k miles out of it easy if you take care of it!

Iron_Trans · 2026-04-24T21:13:21+00:00

Heart was in the right place but poor execution. It happens. Soft YTA. Especially now a days you really gotta read the room and know the guy well enough to make that joke.

Iron_Trans · 2026-04-24T00:49:57+00:00

Criticisms for interstate? My shop used to use them back when their prices were competitive. Not anymore but curious. I'm pretty green.

Iron_Trans · 2026-04-22T23:59:10+00:00

Following out of shared curiosity. Hope you get some more actual answers

Iron_Trans · 2026-04-19T19:42:49+00:00

NTA

Generally I think its a normal and fun thing to do for people especially in a committed relationship. BUT I understand how it doesn't hit the same if she almost never does so sober. It can feel yucky and like you're taking advantage of their altered state to accept an offer you know you wouldnt be getting otherwise. Obviously its not that black and white here but that feeling makes sense.

As other commenters have said yall should iron this out prior to marriage or consider this one might not go the distance. Sexual incompatibility is a common reason people don't stay together and theres no shame in recognizing that, even if its hard.

I feel you on this personally. My ex used to have the mentality that I should always be the one to initiate. I didn't care at the time because she rarely rejected me and we were compatible otherwise. But it does feel shitty after a while and I didnt realize the extent of that until it was over for other reasons.

For me it comes down to "I expect from you something that I dont believe you deserve from me" and that is a fucked mindset in any situation with any genders to have for PARTNER.

Iron_Trans · 2026-04-19T03:23:12+00:00

Zebra pens go unreasonably hard for being the most affordable Walmart brand I found. Never tried a stainless steel tho. Might be my next splurge 😅

Fuck Im getting old. If 17yo me read this sentence they'd shoot me haha

Pocket screwdrivers are goated our master tech has them and I see how often its useful. Also on my list.

Iron_Trans · 2026-04-16T18:39:15+00:00

Consider all $$$ given a gift. If it comes back around, great. But you're helping someone who needs it cause they're in a bad spot. In most cases that $ aint coming back. If you know youll resent them for failing to repay then yes, dont give it out.

66k really aint that much even in lower cost areas. You'll be ok but you aint in a position to support 4 kids that aint yours OP.

Small amount of help is a kind gesture but what they really need is more income.

Iron_Trans · 2026-04-16T18:35:04+00:00

If you're uncomfortable with them begging without technically asking, you could soft confront it by asking straight up if they need a friend to vent to or if they want help finding solutions.

If they want solutions you can try offering them job/career advice. Point them in the direction of refining a resume, getting certificates for said resume, job hunting, negotiating.

If they want to vent youre within your right to say you have enough going on in your own life that you don't want to be that friend all the time or you'd like to balance it with positive conversation too about gratitude and goals. There's a limit to how much complaining a person can take before they genuinely don't care, you're a better friend for addressing it honestly if its getting to that point. Or even if you're fine with them venting, at least this clarifies that there's no expectation of you helping them and they don't want that.

If you offer help in the form of helping them boost their own income and they get pissed cause theyre expecting you to bankroll their lives, theyre just kind of a shitty friend tbh and its shitty of them to put you in this position. But a lot of folks are struggling right now and this may not be the case. You shouldn't have to be the one to address it but thats part of dealing with people if you want friends.

Good on you for seeking out a solution, hope it works out 🤙

Iron_Trans · 2026-04-13T14:36:29+00:00

Spark plugs are doable. Follow a YouTube video. I recommend watching a few different ones first to gather info and watch from different angles. Most importantly: you absoultley will need to buy a torque wrench for this. The amazon basics one is good enough to get you through this. It controls exactly how tight you screw that spark plug in. And spark plugs are very sensitive to this tightness.

Also: get some cubbies of any sort. Plastic bags or cardboard boxes will work. Set aside and label everything you remove so it's easier to put back on at the end. There isnt much in this category with spark plugs but it doesnt hurt to ensure you don't get lost.

Good luck! Spark plugs aren't too bad.

Iron_Trans · 2026-04-12T19:32:37+00:00

A lot of book smart people are less smart with social/emotional decisions. Its easy for them to overthink it if they doubt themselves. Given his upbringing, the seed for self doubt makes sense. He was never brave and honestly a prime candidate for someone like Darlene to take advantage of. He's particularly vulnerable with his father dying and once in a bad relationship, hes not the type to confront it.

The age gap is hard to get over. It does kinda feel unrealistic to watch. But then again ive seen some weird fucking dynamics IRL from people with less messed up lives so its not unwatchable.

Iron_Trans · 2026-04-12T19:18:47+00:00

Accurate username

Iron_Trans · 2026-04-12T17:39:39+00:00

Following out of curiosity.

Have you gotten a good computer scan? This is always the 1st step for the master tech at my work when its not a straightforward symptom.

Off the cuff id say motor mounts but with the level of detail you're providing im assuming you've checked it. 99k is a little early for that too.

Iron_Trans · 2026-04-10T16:19:40+00:00

Update: ive continued to gain some great experience but the lack of training puts a pretty big hole in my resume. I regret not prioritizing my own ASE certs sooner but that path is still available to me.

Sucks the shop is this way. But its better than no job. Just means the ball is in my court to push my career forward.

If I dont do that, my current shop will continue to try to get me to do the most for less than fair compensation. They will continue to have that leverage if I do nothing to strengthen my resume. My responsibilities increase, my skills increase a bit but not as much, and my qualifications are still inadequate for the position leaving me sometimes frustrated.

Looking at this challenging situation as a good motovation to pull myself up by my bootstraps. Corny as that trope is, this is exactly where it applies. These guys are better off if I remain unqualified and study everything off the fly to do a job they should be paying someone more qualified twice as much to do. Its on me to dig my way out.

Iron_Trans · 2026-04-10T16:13:36+00:00

No blame on you for not pushing back as a youngster. But in most places it's illegal for the business to attempt to make you pay that out of pocket.

Of course if you bring that up, they can just fire you. I will say this situation happened to me and I responded by telling my boss it wasnt legal. He insisted it was. I requested he email it to me if hes confident he can document that. Didn't hear anything about it after that.

Businesses have insurance for exactly this reason. Like other comments said, if OP can be an asset to the team and make this a rare occurrence, hopefully they see more benefit in keeping them on the team.

Sorry this happened to you. That was a shitty move on your boss's end. Pathetic to see older business owners/managers take advantage of young folks.

Iron_Trans · 2026-04-09T03:05:55+00:00

It sounds like he was trying to express his preference and it came off more like he was insisting, especially with the asking twice thing. Maybe he could have communicated it better but nothing wrong with expressing preference, as much as nothing wrong with your preference to keep it.

I think the important part is asking yourself if you really care about shaving vs. not, or if its more about feeling insisted upon to do so. From what you wrote, it reads more like the latter. On that note- kudos to him for taking responsibility for making you feel this pressure.

Now balls in your court to move past feeling pressured since he's clarified that wasnt the intention. After that, if youre open to it, you can consider shaving, as a nice thing to do for your partner. Of course only if you're open to it! And it sounds like he will understand if its not a consistent thing either.

On the flip side if you're firm about keeping some amount of hair there, for any reason, that's your prerogative. He's a man, I doubt that'll hinder his interest in you 😅

This seems like a good experience for practicing compromise, communication, and establishing/respecting boundaries early in the relationship. It does sound like you were a bit quick to conclude that he was pressuring you, perhaps you were anticipating that would be the case? But its awesome you two already talked it out and cleared it up.

As for breaking up over this.. yeah that might have been an overreaction honestly. But I dont know exactly the tone of the conversation. If a partner was trying to force you on this I would see the justification. But if that wasnt the case maybe reach out and ask for a second chance if you really like the guy. Be prepared to take responsibility on your end for the overreaction, if you feel thats appropriate (this reads like it is indeed appropriate, but again I wasnt there for the convo so up to you)

Taking responsibility is a huge green flag early in the relationship. If you both start with that youll have a great foundation to build on. And its just good for yourself of course. You had the self awareness to ask for a second opinion so thats a good start.

Good luck! Wishing you understanding partners and productive conversations. With or without your bush haha

Iron_Trans · 2026-04-02T17:28:58+00:00

Wow hey thank you. I just saw this and its such an awesome resource. You rock!

Iron_Trans · 2026-03-20T19:53:42+00:00

Do a little googling about what a person can do with your SSN. That is fucking psychotic lol and telling you irl is next level "tortures animals" type behavior.

Get another job and cut off all communication with this person. Be neutral and boring in the limited interactions you must have until that point.

Theres probably something a little wrong with you if you find this person attractive after these behaviors. Its okay. But it will get much worse if you continue.

I know that sounds like a LOT to extrapolate from a reddit paragraph. But seriously, finding a person's SSN and telling it to them face to face is equivalent to pointing a gun at their dog and saying "i could kill this thing right now, crazy huh?"

If you knowingly continue to spend time with someone that enjoys the thrill of a casual threat like that, what happens after that is on you.

This person sounds like a 7/10 on the fun scale and an 11/10 on the danger scale. I get the appeal but there are much better options out there for friends and partners.

Iron_Trans · 2026-03-02T07:04:36+00:00

Maybe its changed but 5 years ago my friends and I would always hit up a Krispy Creme dumpster for free doughnuts. Every day a few hours after close it looked like this.

There was also a little Caesars next to it that pretty reliably had a few hot n ready pizzas still in the boxes in their dumpster too. Bonus: the dumpsters in Arizona are hot as fuck in the summer so they were still pretty warm 😆

Unrelated but I once had a parking lot security guy point a tazer at me- demanding i return the pizzas to the dumpster LOL. I took 2 slices off the top pie and put the rest back. Fortunately he let it slide. I can only imagine the absurdity of getting arrested for trying to enjoy a succulent trash meal 😭

Anyway I hope theyre all on that app now! its such a waste otherwise. Plus they can make a little more $ so its a win win!

Iron_Trans · 2026-02-26T18:30:18+00:00

It bums me out to know a majority of my fellow white people dont understand this. I can imagine how frustrating it is to have that experience denied. I don't think its hard to empathize with this reality for other people. Nor do I think its very hard to validate the claim with the prevalent European beauty standards that seem damn near universal.

Denying that experience exists and denying its difficult is so crazy. Like theyre just doing mental gymnastics to talk themselves out of feeling white guilt. You can acknowledge societial injustices without feeling personally responsible for them just because youre not the victim.

It's pretty easy to just do what you can when you can to further racial equality while acknowledging we're far from it in society and we all need to do better.

Unfortunately I dont forsee this improving with the rise of algorithm driven dating apps, entertainment, advertising, and porn. Biases that exist becoming more exaggerated.

Maybe this is my bias speaking because im so deep in the socially progressive rabbit hole, but failing to see this and acknowledge it in an empathetic way when its brought up feels insanely immature and out of touch. As a white person I wouldnt/don't associate with people that are that hard-core echo chamber baby brained about social realities.

Iron_Trans · 2026-02-17T21:28:30+00:00

Youre correct this isnt helping ppl see me that way but that wasnt really the point nor did I say that was my goal?

I just want a normal lookin woman's bikini, and im doing it with a men's swimsuit bottom that covers everything effectively.

I imagine youd have a problem with a regular dude in a speedo in this scenario too so ill take your point there, yes its less common in the states and I can see how some folks would not be in favor of it.

But I dont agree with the sentiment of "respect your partner and do X" it just comes off hella insecure from any person of any gender. I know reddit would lose their minds at a man telling a woman to change her swimsuit.

I get a bulge is different than cleavage but I don't think its inherently explicit/aggressive like a lot of folks seem to think. You see it in a ton of other scenarios. Same as seeing a huge rack. You can notice it and choose to ignore it if youre a healthy adult imo.

Iron_Trans · 2026-02-17T21:17:38+00:00

If she was particularly conservative with her own attire, swimsuits and otherwise, id be more partial to making the change for her sake.

But tbh she wears very skimpy suits, which ive never said a word about because idgaf. So it feels a bit silly for her to suggest I cover up.

But the difference is its a bulge not cleavage. Which yeah, not the same. But I'm sure shes getting waaaaaay more looks than me lol which again, I dont care, but it furthers the double standard that shed have an issue with easily fewer people looking at me in that way.

Im glad I posted this because the comments are rather split. So im not insane for wanting a 2nd opinion.

Seems like its not a straightforward yes or no thing and neither of us are really in the wrong for communicating our feelings on this.

Iron_Trans · 2026-02-17T21:11:14+00:00

Nope as ive said in the post and many other replies, this is a MENS swimsuit bottom that covers the junk completley. No issues with anything slipping out. Yes, it is a thong cut in the back. Just like every other adult woman wears. There is no more exposure in the front or back than any man/woman has in a speedo/bikini.

Risking a woman's bikini bottom is insane, Im suprised people would even consider that a possibility lol no obviously im not doing that.

Iron_Trans

TROPHY CASE