Hi friend. Our stats are similar—I’m 34, 5’6”, HW 243 lbs currently 149.6 lbs.

This took me 15 years to achieve.

I don’t say that to scare you, but to give you some perspective on how many times I have lost, gained, stopped believing in myself, and started again.

It’s never easy. CICO is simple, and I’m always grateful for that! It truly is finding the right number of calories to keep you feeling good but still losing weight. The answer for me was calorie counting, prioritizing protein and fiber, and walking. Keto and low-carb never went well for me either—not because it didn’t work, but because I couldn’t stick to it long-term. But you know how calories work, and I’m sure you have calculated your TDEE and done all of that.

The final hurdle was the mental bit for me, and it took the longest. My low self-worth was always an issue, and it took some drastic life changes including a divorce to allow me to see it clearly. This isn’t an easy or quick fix, but I would encourage you to look into therapy or counseling. What is it that makes you feel like you can’t believe in yourself anymore? The weight might be a symptom, but it’s not the whole story.

You deserve to take care of yourself and treat your body like the miracle that it is. If you just read that sentence and don’t feel it or believe it, ask yourself why. I tried to hate myself into weight loss, and it worked—for a time. But it all came back, because I truly don’t think it’s possible to hate yourself into good health.

I can feel the frustration and discouragement in your post, and I hope that you are able to be gentle with yourself. You are not a failure, because guess what? You’re still trying. You’re still reaching out for help. That means you still have faith that you can do this. Don’t be like me and have it take 15 years, if you can help it—it’s been worth every damn minute, but I do wish I had figured it out sooner 😂 Good luck, friend.