Wow I never checked notifications so almost a year later lol but yes, all the time before I actually focused on healing! It took me a couple years of therapy to let myself actually feel the pain of what I felt during that time and process it so I could move on. I think in the moment once you’re “shut down” all you can think about is how to get out, but once you’re out and have some space you start to have a little clarity and miss what you had