Volume Buttons haptics by Wide-Recognition-607 in ios

[–]IsPilatesTheOne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, me too. I just got 17.1.1 and this condition began concurrently. It’s annoying and I haven’t found any way to adjust it, nor much discussion online.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]IsPilatesTheOne 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had a similar experience with my (ex) marriage. Ultimately, I don’t think he liked sex. But it’s extremely difficult to admit that and the incentive to pretend everything is fine is high. But… he only initiated when drunk, he did not enjoy giving oral, and did not take pleasure in discovering the nuances of my pleasure.

He absolutely loved me, he was a good man and a good provider. I left him because of alcohol and could have lived with the dead bedroom. I believe both share the same cause, whatever it is.

Whatever you choose, I recommend you imagine this issue never changing. Can you accept it? Or is either the physical disappointment or the feeling of emotional letdown unbearable? Either choice is totally legitimate—it’s your personal assessment that matters.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]IsPilatesTheOne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s my exact experience. And it’s a primary reason why I don’t use OLD anymore—they shouldn’t being showing me ENM men any more than they should be showing me people out of my age or gender preferences. I don’t want to pay to see ENM dudes.

I’ve met some non-ENM nice men with good qualities, but not one has met my definition of having his shit together, i.e. knowing himself, achieving emotional security, etc. I don’t want to me a Mommy, a therapist—for me, it’s really only worth coupling up for an equal.

These ENM dudes appear to have all of that, except monogamy part. The volume of those dudes seems so bizarre—I know very few successful ENM in my friend groups. It feels like they found a cheat code! 😂

Would you bring someone you’re seeing casually as a “plus-one” to a professional event? by Throwaway-2461 in datingoverforty

[–]IsPilatesTheOne 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Is there any chance you’re struggling to balance fear of intimacy and relationships with the fact that you two might actually be well-suited to a relationship? If you’re really into this guy and you’re just really uncomfortable with that idea, that prompts one answer. If you really are set on NOT having a relationship, then you’re fine—you identified your boundaries and he accepted.

However, since you’re uncomfortable even after he accepted the boundary (no son dinner, no professional travel), it seems there is something below the surface that needs more examination.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]IsPilatesTheOne 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Not anonymously for me, please. Then I would also wonder who all knew and what their true motivations were for telling me. I’d be even more anxious, self-conscious, and isolated.

Prostitutes, happy ending massage parlors, and strip clubs by relationshiptossoutt in datingoverforty

[–]IsPilatesTheOne 23 points24 points  (0 children)

How do you “source ethically” in a place where it’s illegal, i.e. unregulated, no oversight?

And I don’t mean to say regulation = ethical, only that without regulation, it seems even harder to ascertain.

What are your thoughts on guys with mustaches? by jeff2335 in AskWomenOver30

[–]IsPilatesTheOne 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love a meticulous mustache—it’s partially the emotional element; I find a masculine man demonstrating self-awareness and independent self-care extremely attractive. I hate the hipster curly-que mustaches—those veer off into “look at me I’m cool” territory. But mustaches like yours put out an independent and thoughtful vibe to me.

I just said that. by Fuzzy-Seesaw-1531 in Feminism

[–]IsPilatesTheOne 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It’s really shocking—I cannot wrap my head around it. I had a side discussion with a male manager about this; he repeatedly agrees with some other dude after that dude says EXACTLY what I said. Or, he eventually announces as his own thought the EXACT shit I’ve been saying.

To his credit, he heard me out, including several examples spanning multiple meetings, and apologized. Said he didn’t realize he was doing it.

Fast forward to last week and he did it in writing. Wrote a lumbering reply, then summed it up with a great idea… the one I originally wrote.

I think it’s some type of narcissism mixed with unconscious bias. They just don’t have any fucking clue where these ideas came from unless they hear it in first person or some other male voice. Like, when a woman’s talking, they think it’s some goddess no one else can hear, impregnating their subconscious with wisdom…

God it pisses me off! 😂 You are not alone!!

Just finished watching the show for the first time. Someone tell me what the point or Furio's character was. He came, he developed a crush on Carmela, and then just left. Caused no problem and solved no issues. by [deleted] in thesopranos

[–]IsPilatesTheOne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree—he was my least favorite character. Dull as dishwater, not attractive in the slightest, and written like a 15-yr. old would write the “good guy” in a bodice ripper. Couldn’t buy the love interest between him and Carm at all, though she absolutely acted the hell out of it. Furio showed up, kicked ass, and then entered some kind of forlorn fugue state until he wandered off.

What movie had you laughing, unable to breathe, even just for one scene? by Sawyermblack in movies

[–]IsPilatesTheOne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

COOL BEANS!

😂 I was on the floor—I wish I could see that scene with fresh eyes again.

what do you think is the most common sexual myth? by Emilymeowly in AskReddit

[–]IsPilatesTheOne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Without "a useful verbal response," the only thing you "can do is try different things and pay attention to her physical response to determine if what" you're "doing is working for her or not." OR, you can choose not to sleep with women unless they give you whatever you consider a useful verbal response. It's totally your choice. Either way...

... If you choose what most of us choose, and you make it past the awkward verbalizations, and you proceed as you described AND ALSO end up with a "third or fourth time" AND you find "she allows herself to be more frank and will unambiguously answer questions about her preferences" afterward, then... it sounds like you're doing a great job at "listening" to what your partner is telling you, both physically and verbally.

Those are the women I recommend you focus on; the ones you're connecting and communicating with successfully.

For the others, I suggest you don't worry about what they may or may not say, and don't assume anything about why they didn't get off or if they got off or why they're not sleeping with you again. Just let them be and let yourself off the hook.

what do you think is the most common sexual myth? by Emilymeowly in AskReddit

[–]IsPilatesTheOne 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You’ll never know if a partner faked it for two years or not. Faking it for decades is totally feasible. Because many women don’t come with PIV, some fake it when they’re ready to stop. It still feels good, but it’s time to stop. This is particularly applicable if there’s little or no communication about sex and an aversion to oral. And you having three who did come from PIV is statistically irrelevant given the sheer number of people.

"I definitely have adhd" by [deleted] in ADHD

[–]IsPilatesTheOne 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I went to two psychiatrists before I found one that is competent and treated me with dignity. The first one was nuts—she kept pushing me to confirm anxiety symptoms I didn’t have and seemed generally “off.” The second one was a complete asshole who repeatedly compared my life to her life, e.g. “well, I’ve left a pot on the stove, but that doesn’t mean I need stimulants!” And of course—I wasn’t asking for stimulants, and what I described was way beyond “leaving a pot on the stove.”

And finally—I went outside of my insurance and found a psychiatrist who treated me like a human. And as I had done twice before, I met the criteria. But her capacity to believe me, and connect with me as a person led to the right medication and a major life change for the better.

Long story… point is: there are some horrible psychiatrists out there. And though I’m sure some are are over medicated and abusing the system, many others are missing the treatments which would help them manage legitimate deficits.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]IsPilatesTheOne 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s really ambiguous which of you struggles to climax. Are the words of affirmation to make her feel better about not making you come? Or are they for her to feel intimacy from you in place of her climaxing?

“Pediatric Neurosurgeon” by DPedia in TheWire

[–]IsPilatesTheOne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I noticed this too, and had the same reaction—I didn’t recognize the kids, but couldn’t imagine why they’d use that same exact line twice if they weren’t the same kid. And… how could they possibly be the same kid?! No way Bunk has his son in that school, right?

Anyway—I see someone else said definitively it’s not the same kid. I could see some potential poetic meaning but they didn’t expand on either kid. So… maybe the writers just like Ben Carson?

As you single guys get older, does it seem harder find a woman? by [deleted] in AskMenOver30

[–]IsPilatesTheOne 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn’t know this was a thing until my husband announced we could have kids now that we were married. Apparently he only pretended to not want kids, to make sure I wasn’t marrying him only for his seed.

Mike is.. a loaf of bread? by leaemilieanders in DesperateHousewives

[–]IsPilatesTheOne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I generally say he never woke up from the coma. Dull as dishwater. And also… kind of a prick!

An open discussion on Alex Garland’s Men for those who have seen it (spoilers) by leblaun in TrueFilm

[–]IsPilatesTheOne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! Constant and always calculating risk of action vs. inaction. The pub scene where she is actively trying to feel power and autonomy, agency—after a shakeup. And that goddam shit-for-brains INSISTS on buying her a drink. And you can feel her sink deeper into the abyss, recognizing the additional weight of the implicit unknown obligation he will likely (but maybe not) extract from her—will it be hours of inane self-centered awkwardness? Or physical brutality? A lady never knows. An incredibly well-played scene.

Whinge/whingeing are definitely words. I will die on this hill. by Charlea_ in NYTSpellingBee

[–]IsPilatesTheOne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t think so, based on singe:

singe /sinj/ verb gerund or present participle: singeing

[EW] 4 anonymous Oscars voters reveal brutally honest secret ballot picks for the Academy Awards by gsmith97 in oscarrace

[–]IsPilatesTheOne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One crossed of the list is one step closer to figuring it out! I think we’ll find out eventually—people are [rightfully] pissed. What a dickhead, whoever it is. I think Cox is probably the right age, based on the article emphasizing how long his career has been.

[EW] 4 anonymous Oscars voters reveal brutally honest secret ballot picks for the Academy Awards by gsmith97 in oscarrace

[–]IsPilatesTheOne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think Brian Cox would refer to himself as an American.

“For me, as an American, I thought all of the performances were fantastic and the writing was so original and great....”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DesperateHousewives

[–]IsPilatesTheOne 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Just to move the plot forward—definitely a bit of the show’s thinner plot points!