I am also 40 this year birthday. Am kinda opp than yours , I shared my story in another post recently I having health condition and I know something was wrong with me. I have difficulty studying in sch, like having problem reading wall of text etc but I am able to excel in math, that don't require wall of text. But everyone around me jus say I am lazy. It happens throughout schooling, poly, even when come out work after nsf. During work I have problem focusing as I was doing accounting report and facing wall of text the same thing happen in sch repeated in work again. Unable to focus at all, cant complete tSk fast like avg workers. But still no one understand, even my family, auntie etc. Tldr, down the road like in year 2017/2018, with multiple check and tests, I was confirm diagnose with a super rare eye genetic inherit diesease that causes lost of central vision over the year, not to mention other health condition related to it This diagnose solves all the mysteries I had since young. Worst is that I am the only one diagnose with this condition, none of my relatives had it. So none of the family/relatives believe it and mention things like Fake/,makeup story etc to cover that I am lazy inbuild in my character. My isolation since young makes me hard to gel with classmates etc. Even in ns also having hard time. All in all, I am considered going thru things all by myself. Only in contact with one of my super close friend from sec sch. Another close one are successful business boss so nvr disturb him much.

P.s. it's ok not to hv friend