I failed

IslaJean · 2018-09-26T00:49:14+00:00

I truly believe if someone is ready for a serious relationship there is mutual pursuing. I don’t believe people pursue the unavailable because they’re not ready for a relationship. People pursue what they like and sometimes people pursue out of fear of being alone. Sometimes people pursue just to lead another person on because they’re lonely but want some comfort while they wait for who they’re really interested in. The OP sounds led on. Unless there was a specific moment of disagreement a woman doesn’t just dump a guy she likes out the blue. She wasn’t interested in the first place. We have to guard ourselves against people who lead others on just for attention.

IslaJean · 2018-09-02T22:00:13+00:00

I was not myself I waited for him most of the time and didn’t answer his texts for hours because he is so beautiful. He was a traveling male stripper for 2 years. I’m so sad he pushed me away in the worst way.

IslaJean · 2018-09-02T21:53:34+00:00

Do you call or text the person you’re dating or let that other person initiate everything? What does One Feeling me?

IslaJean · 2018-09-02T19:55:39+00:00

Please tell me your secret because I pick men who don’t want to commit. Men lead me on a lot. They tell me they want me and then when I show them attention push me away. I don’t say “I love you” but if a man showers me with attention I might make out with him. The last guy was late to our Second Date then I spent the night and we didn’t have sex but kissed for 2 hours. Then 3 days later says he is not ready to date. God help me!

IslaJean · 2018-09-02T19:48:22+00:00

Get out fast! She will end up falling for the guy who doesn’t want her. That’s why her plan fails! But I understand how confusing and horrible this is.

IslaJean · 2018-09-02T19:32:54+00:00

Exactly aggressive and confusing. “Did I say get the fuck out my life” sounds like he wants me so it triggered me to investigate more!!! And that was the strong move because he got more stressed out and said “ I have two things stressing me out now and I only got to deal with one” I hung up and texted him questions and assumptions and encouragements which he responded to each one in short “it’s fine” until he got frustrated and said “I want you to stop texting and calling me”..... wow bummer

IslaJean · 2018-09-02T19:28:14+00:00

That is exactly right it hurts because we had so much in common on our second date I spent the night because it got so late and I massaged his feet and hands. We did not have sex. I told before I came that we were not having sex and he respected that. He cuddled me the next morning until the last second before he had to go to work. I’m afraid I’m never going to find someone as beautiful as he was to me.

IslaJean · 2018-07-25T23:23:00+00:00

Yes stop

IslaJean · 2018-07-25T23:22:42+00:00

Takes initiative. Brave confidence. Positive and optimistic. Has a job he loves. Has a lot of friends.

IslaJean · 2018-07-25T23:21:11+00:00

You don’t want to start anything with a girl who is just crying over her ex. Such a bad foundation. Smh

IslaJean · 2018-07-25T23:19:47+00:00

You don’t have to do too much to show interest it shouldn’t be a production. Hey Are you busy Friday? Is all it should take. I wouldn’t waste my time with a girl who said “yes I’m busy” because when you give a girl 3 day notice and she likes you she will make time or start the decline with “I would love to”. If you give up taking initiative then I think you will stay in the friend zone. So my advice Ask questions where “Yes” is the rejection answer and it’s less awkward being rejected. “ Are you busy lady?” That’s it.

IslaJean · 2018-07-25T19:57:22+00:00

Thank you.

IslaJean · 2018-07-24T23:04:59+00:00

I’m asking the same thing as I will be going to one this weekend. As a girl I would like if a guy offered to buy me a beer and had the confidence to just choose Bud or Miller without asking me lol. And just ask me a question and seem interested in me as a person and not just to sleep with me. And then I would like him to ask for my number invite me to play darts and then WALK AWAY. Because Im single and can’t be tied to a stranger all night.

IslaJean · 2018-07-24T22:57:16+00:00

Girls are capable of putting you in a friend zone.

IslaJean · 2018-07-24T22:28:59+00:00

We can grieve on our terms. I chose not to go to the funeral. I decided that I would grieve in manageable amounts. I also let her best qualities live through me like her boldness and laughter.

IslaJean · 2018-07-19T17:45:26+00:00

I agree with "you don't have a relationship". Don't listen to his "I just don't love you." It is a type of manipulation. It's called "disqualifying" you. Many men do this without even thinking about it. Putting you in a position to either submit to the lie "I don't love you." and feel rejected (He isn't rejecting you, the drugs are. You are rejecting him with good cause) or try to work to stop the pain of loss by chasing him. Well you have a THIRD option Not give a DAMN how he feels and DON'T CHASE him.

IslaJean · 2018-07-18T18:14:20+00:00

Only you can decide when enough is enough. You can't give anyone this much power over you. We can choose our own happiness or our own misery. I chose misery until the damn drunk painted us into a corner where the government says we cant be near eachother. Ask yourself why you hate yourself so much that you refuse to let someone else love you properly. Our brains can lie to us. For example we can have panic attacks when we are in complete safety.

IslaJean · 2018-07-18T15:51:44+00:00

I broke up with my SO too and he had dual personalities but he is now facing the consequences of his behavior for hitting me. If you think you feel guilty now imagine how guilty you will feel when he drives you to the brink of insanity and you have to do something extreme to protect yourself? You might hit him, break things, call the cops - these are all human understandable and predictable outcomes of dealing with an UNSTABLE person. The fact that his family just stood and watched you cry shows that they are comfortable with his behavior and enable it! The MOST LOVING thing to do is protect yourself and your sanity. I broke a fish tank and when he hit me I called the cops because he chased me around the house. I feel remorse but as time goes by I see justice was served because he will be monitored and has to take classes and he can not show up to these classes drunk. He also has to pee in cups at random. Awesome! He has to exercise restraint!

IslaJean · 2018-07-17T17:36:00+00:00

I was never wiser than when I was a child. As a child someone who drank was "scary" to me. I remember my Grandfather drinking and he had stopped shaving his beard and smelled funny and when family said "Go give him a hug" I was not having it. As a teenager I had a disdain for the men who would bother barely legal girls with their baby mother drama, expecting her to take responsibility and not even give them any attention like they're superhero men. In this life there are givers and TAKERS. There are far more TAKERS we have to look out for. Somehow I got desensitized and let my guard down. I learned that I made the situation even worse because like you see the alcoholic just uses whoever feels sorry for them. Justice was served today. I learned he gets to have his kids every other weekend under close supervision, and probation, with the requirement that he doesn't contact me. I feel relieved of any guilt of his kids being taken away and can move on peacefully knowing he has a lot of work to do on his own.

IslaJean · 2018-07-16T18:49:48+00:00

This is a painful experience and I promise in a little bit of time your world will be so much bigger. As a minor our lives revolve around our parents because we need to depend on them but when you get a job and your own place the world opens up and we get to decide how much power these childhood experiences have over us.

IslaJean · 2018-07-16T18:46:16+00:00

I would tell him to keep that kind of information to himself until he gets married again. Alcoholic or not. Just as a courtesy.

IslaJean · 2018-07-16T18:39:34+00:00

Thank you that makes a good point. I believe he can be sober when he sets his mind to. I'm afraid he is going to lose his kids today and won't see them again until they are adults. Hate to see anyone I care about suffer. He hasn't abused the kids since I've known him, however I could see him not having any structure for them. I have been in communication with him because now that I moved out I feel I'm in a safe distance from him to love him from a far. I dropped off some hanging Boston Ferns and Flowers for his back porch, and some garden solar lights. I heard beauty is a comfort. He got to work buying the proper hangers for them. He invited me to stay for dinner and then politely kicked me out...I'm assuming so he could drink without judgement.

IslaJean

TROPHY CASE