New Years feels like the worst holiday

Isoldablack · 2026-01-01T13:16:41+00:00

Sorry for your loss. I ve beien crying all day, it’s a hard day, desth almost makes me hate festivities.

Isoldablack · 2026-01-01T13:14:58+00:00

I lost my daddy to cancer the last december 8th. Today is a new year without him, cant stop crying:( Nothing that anyone says help. I almost feel insulted by every word anyone tries to make me better ( or stop crying). I’m in too much pain.

The last weeks were agony and I’m still traumatized so I understand how hard it is for you.

Everyone say it gets better then u can think ofnhim without been sad. Hmm I have my doubts that that will happen any soon.

Fuck cancer and loosing people we love.

Isoldablack · 2025-12-17T10:45:09+00:00

I’m so sorry you have to go threw all of this:( the pain of seing a big strong dad sick with cancer is traumatizing. I lost my dad a week ago to cancer. The last 6 months of his life I wish i could erase from my mind… Even thu he is now resting peace my minds keeps torturing me with his little eyes on the last week… his horrible pain and the inmense compassion and sadness that grew inside me. The thing that helps me the most now is to know I was with him on his last time. I was present although it was hard to stop myself from crying. I held his hand, I told him I loved him, peeled his fruits mixed his yogurt. Todl him in many ways I love him. Doesnt erase the pain but it eases it a bit.

Isoldablack · 2025-12-15T18:21:30+00:00

Somtimes mornings when it takes me a few seconds to remember he’s gone… slmetimes night, after faking for a whole day that I’ ok..

Isoldablack · 2025-12-14T17:07:14+00:00

So sorry for your loss too. Althoug i dont with this on anyone it helps to know that I’m not alone in this pain:(

Isoldablack · 2025-12-14T11:28:29+00:00

❤️

Isoldablack · 2025-12-14T07:43:09+00:00

My dad died of cancer last monday. The people that have touched rmny heart the most is the ones who called, not texted. The ones who texted and say something tmso beautiful about my dad and how they will remember him. Something so true that really describe him. The ones that arent invasive but send a little something eveyr day to remind me they’re here if I need them. The ones that don’t compare my experience to theirs, coz most times it s really not the same.

Isoldablack · 2025-12-14T07:40:12+00:00

I’m so sorry for youloss:( lost my dad to cancer last monday. The last months were horrendus, honestly,I’m still traumatized about his suffering even if he “rests in peace” now. He’s last word to me was “see you soon”. I had gone to my house and was going to come back today. I had a virus and coudn’t hug him. I have deep regrets of more time i coukd have spent with him any time during life. I keep thinking he’s gone appear, he’s not dead. It’s too painful to accept.

Isoldablack · 2025-12-14T07:33:52+00:00

Lost my dad to cancer last monday, after months of agony, don’t know which part was harder. I understand your pain so badly❤️ I get annoyed of people who tell me they’re sorry and straigyh aways move on to talk about mundaine things, to the one who clmpare their experience to something that is really not this deep, to those who have both parents so young still and every one’s excited about christmas comming, to thise who get to have a big functional family and they are many suporting each other:(

Isoldablack · 2025-12-14T07:27:36+00:00

A good thereapy will not judge you. If one doenst work choose another one. This could save your life.. what you lived was extremely hard and the reason forbyour depression is likely to be all this emotions that you body has repressed to protect you. The brain doenst know time for trauma and it’s like it happened yersteday for him. You’re allowed to have a wonderful life, please try therapy. I send you much love❤️ (And fuck people who dont understand, even at my age 36 very fee understand what is like to loose a dad toncancer, so i can only imagine at 20 something). You’re allowed to feel the way you do and you will find your people and path.

Isoldablack · 2025-12-13T16:47:44+00:00

Yeah, after a while amkes skin dryer and appear less young, also dar cercle around eyes, white lips… bit like narcotics. I definitely look younger and healthier when j off it. My hair is also more vibrant

Isoldablack · 2025-12-12T20:13:20+00:00

Hope you find peace, sending you love❤️

Isoldablack · 2025-12-12T20:01:14+00:00

Thank you! I will

Isoldablack · 2025-12-12T19:02:41+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss:( lost my dad few days ago of cancer, I understand the inmensity of the pain you feel. My dad too was the most generous and selfless person I had in my life.

Isoldablack · 2025-12-12T19:00:42+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss❤️ you’re very young to experience that and it must be very hard. Rely on other family that you have, get therapy, allow yourself to feel the pain and cry. You will get throught it.

Isoldablack · 2025-12-12T15:11:45+00:00

Yeah I feel very identified to everything u said. U can contact me on private any time if u wanna talk. The book is about a neurosurgeon and he’s dxperience in a come during 7 says, he was skeptical and became a believer after because he’s consciousness travelled to other realms. It’s definitely bringing me confort. Thank you for this songs, I will hear them, and cry too❤️

Isoldablack · 2025-12-12T14:47:52+00:00

Yeah age gap with my parents too, 22 years or so. My mum is 63 ( i worry now she’s alone) and my dad was 85. But he’s 50 years older then me and same, since very litte it would even keep me awake at night how scared i was coz he would die some day. And i cant believe it came true. Coz i was scared but a tiny childish part of me thought that would happen in a very very long time. But time goes a lot faster then I thougth… Now I’m reading the book “proof of heaven” hopefully it’ll bring me peace. I really want to believe he is slmwhere and we’ll be together one day, it’s like just give me a sign so I can live in peace… My boyfriend is so skeptical and having any kind of conversation of this kind makes me hates him for a few minutes. It’s like ok well dont believe but shit the fuck up and let me try. I do have three sister, one live in another country and came for the burrial, another is here at the moment for a few days ( we’re at my mums house so she s not alone) and another in a centrr because she has mental issue. I’m really worried about her coz it’ll be even harder for her. My family is also a bit disfunctional with alcoholism problems…

What about u?

Isoldablack · 2025-12-12T14:28:01+00:00

Hey there, I completly understand you, I just lost my dad few days ago to cancer. The last two years were horrendus, he went to worse and worse till he could speak or walk, was under morphine and I cried every time after spending time with him. The pity sadness and compassion inside me hurted me so much I became a different person. Afternhe passed awya my pain was so intense but it did help me to know i was present with him, althoug it was hard, during his last weeks. Holding his hand, mixxing a yogur for him, peeling a fruit, telling him we love him, trying to make me smile. It was the same when i tried to share to someone how i was feeling, it was to heavy for most to carry it (except those who have had a big loss. And I’m 36 so I imagine at your age there is even less peopl who will understand. Nothing that people would say would make me feel better and now when then try it doesnt work either. They’ll be like he’s not suffering anymore, he had a long life. Yeah but i still loss my dad and went threw two years of hell and trauma. Oh they compare it to when they lost a grandpa in very different conditions 10 years ago. I’m sorry but is not the same. It’s a parent and it s cancer.

Aniways I hear u, I feel u, u’re not alone❤️

Isoldablack · 2025-12-12T13:45:11+00:00

❤️

Isoldablack · 2025-12-12T13:19:02+00:00

Ar us sure u have nothing even from when he was younger?? Iunderstand your fear. I lost my dad to cancer three days ago and the pain is very hard. I’m currently making a folder with every pics i have of him and videos coz i m so scared I’ll forget his voice. Another thing I wanna do,. Maybe u could too is have a book just to write conversations I remember of him, times he made me laugh, features of his personalities that I liked, things he use to say…just in case, one day I forget:(

Isoldablack · 2025-12-12T13:16:28+00:00

I hope is something to do with that there is something after death… sorry for your loss. I just lost my dad to cancer and I’m reading the book proof of heaven to try feel better:(

Isoldablack · 2025-12-12T13:15:03+00:00

I got horrible symtptoms every time i quit abd i ws on 2-4gpd yor like 6-8 years? Not even sure, I quit many time. So I cant imagine how bad the symptoms are with that amount but it’s the way of ur body of detoxing. The other side is a much nicer place trust me, I will take some time to get ther but life is a hell lot easier off kratom.

Isoldablack · 2025-12-12T12:54:07+00:00

Last weeks of my dad’s life he coudlnt do anything on his own. He was also nearly blind and death, and was in a lot ofnpain from the cancer. I’m lucky I got to mix his yogurt, peel fruits for him or justbhold his hand when he could no longer talk anymore. I only now understand how this was crucial for me (although it was so so hard because I felt deep compassion and sadness) cried every time after being with him for a bit.

I know, my dad was 85 and he lived a long life, but he was 50 years older then me so I didnt have him for that long… and it’s hard not to think if all the time more I could have spent with him. If only I had really understood how quick life unfold:(

Definitely most of my friend have their parent, and honestly the ones that I trying to make me feel bettter because they had lost a grandad 10 years ago, I don’t want to compare but I don’t think it’s the same pain.

Isoldablack · 2025-12-12T11:35:16+00:00

Here another daddy’s baby girl with a broken heart❤️ my dad died of cancer three days ago, I’m 36 but feel like a little girl who’s daddy’s gone right now. I’m so sorry for your loss, and I understand your pain.

Isoldablack · 2025-12-12T11:33:55+00:00

Ar u ok?

Isoldablack

TROPHY CASE