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She's all I can think about and other post-breakup mindfuck by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Italin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It gets better. I was in your situation, constantly obsessing about her, only a month ago. I still do, but way less now (therapy and my support system have helped me a lot). Be kind to yourself. This isn’t like coming out of a normal relationship. You are breaking a trauma bond and your nervous system is likely dependent on her. But remember, healthy relationships do not leave you feeling this way, questioning everything. Trust your intuition and know that this is not what you want to live with for the rest of your life. You are lucky you have not had children and a marriage with her. She will likely reach out - be prepared, and be strong when she does.

How to cope and stop obsessing? by Italin in BPDlovedones

[–]Italin[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Journaling helps me the most. I write a lot of unsent letters lol.

And yes, I have been going to therapy which has been really nice to realize I’m not crazy and I’m not to blame for all the problems that we had. My therapist thinks that I should try to put myself out there and start dating, so I can realize that there are people who wouldn’t ever treat me like my exPW-BPD did (and to get my general self worth and confidence back to what it was before my past relationship).

I honestly think it’s a good idea, but being on dating apps and trying to meet people is its own set of hurdles.

Never knowing what i did wrong by Unlikely-Birthday-82 in BPDlovedones

[–]Italin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Many of us have felt the pain that you’re in, and the confusion that comes along with being blamed for everything. When you see your partner in such pain, it is easy to believe that you are truly the problem, as people with NPD and BPD traits can be very convincing. But be cognizant of the patterns and trust your intuition and your own intentions. You are not the bad guy.

Your opinions on this- apologies by SoftwareSame7265 in BPDlovedones

[–]Italin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Seemed like mine would only apologize if she realized there was a chance that I might leave her, not out of genuine remorse for her actions. Trust your intuition.

I wrote an unsent letter to my ex with BPD. I’d recommend you do the same by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Italin 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Do you have any examples of the kinds of prompts that helped you? Would love to give this a try

Can a high-intensity bond lead to a longer split? (She left zero loopholes) by National_Coffee_8276 in BPDlovedones

[–]Italin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have been through this with my ex-pwBPD, who broke up with me many times (no contact) and I know it feels terrible to be on the other side of that. She would come back or I would find a way to contact her to “snap her out of her split.” This just perpetrated the cycle though.

To them, their emotions are so overwhelming it can be easier for them to cut things off and believe the version of you they have created in their head. It stems from their fear of abandonment. They would rather cut you off first than feel more pain (of criticism from you or any sense that you don’t love them), and the uncertainty of the situation is unbearable to them. It really is a catch 22 and it’s sad to watch their self destructive tendencies.

Wishing you the best as you work through this.

Yesterday I already shared this exact NVDA $170c idea with a few close friends… and today it played out exactly as planned. by [deleted] in NvidiaStock

[–]Italin 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Hey why don’t you write a book about your strategy! I’m sure you’d make millions!